Feb 24 2010

Love Language - Gifts

Each day this week Dr. Gary Chapman joins us to give an overview of a different "Love Language".  Today we heard about "gifts":

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. 

Keep listening for your chance to win a copy of Gary's book, plus get qualified to win a grand prize trip for you to attend the Marriage You've Always Wanted conference of your choice!

Comments (26) -

2/24/2010 5:58:59 AM
Selma United States
I was just wondering is the love dare a book you can buy. Please let me know.

Thanks and God Bless.
2/24/2010 6:36:34 AM
Nancy Carey United States
Nancy Carey
I went to a Secretary Convention and got to hear Dr. Gary Chapman speak about his books. He shared that the way that we came to salvation and except Jesus as our Savior was with our love language. I'm grateful for how God knew me so well that He loved me the way that would speak to me the most. My love language is quality time and touch. I was saved by an older woman who took time with me to teach and as she did, she held my hand. It was so special to me that she showed me love from God through my 2 love languages. We can love and witness to other but first we need to be loving them with their love language. God knows that love language for that person. Pray that He will use us to love others that speaks to there heart the most.
2/24/2010 7:07:07 AM
rachel shannon United States
rachel shannon
Lisa, I heard you say you were confused - maybe I can help.  I teach the 5 love languages to my Interpersonal Relationships class at Judson University.  Here are a couple of other ways I have found to help you see what your primary language is.  Look at your childhood and the times you felt most loved by your parents - which of your parents were you most connected to, why. The memories we have of our childhood are usually the ones that have the highest emotional content, so what you remember and how you remember it is significant.   The other way is to look at times in your life when  you weren't in relationship with a member of the opposite sex and what did you miss the most?  Another way is to look at what your kids do that connects the most with you.  I found myself carrying my kids around until they were in kindergarten not because they couldn't walk, but because physical touch is my primary love language, they are now teenagers and not hugging them kills me Smile.

I love listening to the two of you in the morning, I hope this helps!

2/24/2010 7:36:50 AM
Tiffany United States
I think you can have multiple love languages.  With my husband time and touch are definitely my love language.  From my teenage daughters acts of service make me feel the most loved.  At work and at church (I do a lot of volunteering) its definitely words of affirmation.  Just my thoughts.  Have a great day.
God bless,
2/24/2010 7:52:39 AM
Donna Stuart United States
Donna Stuart
The link for the love language quiz isn't working.  I cannot access the quiz at all.
2/24/2010 7:53:11 AM
Tara United States
I have a question... Can your love language change?  The last time I took the quiz (several yrs ago) I actually scored evenly for 3 of the 5 love languages. (acts of service, gift giving, quality time) My love language used to be quality time, now it's acts of service! My husband and I have 5 boys and any help I can get from him or the boys to help clean the house, do yardwork, run errands, etc. is SOOOO greatly appreciated!! Don't get me wrong I would LOVE some quality time with my husband, but at this point in life with a 10, 7, 5, 2, and 1 yr old I feel VERY loved if I get any "acts of service"!! (oh, but of course ... I wouldn't turn any gifts away either!) ;o)))  
2/24/2010 7:53:18 AM
Starlitt Schmitz United States
Starlitt Schmitz
I read the 5 love languages years ago and have practiced what I learned for about 8 years. When I filled out the questionaire I found out that my love language was different than I thought it was. I thought it was recieving gifts and found out after answering the questions that it is actually words of affermation first,than recieving gifts. I am interested in redoing the questionaire because I find that as I get older my needs change. Today I would guess I am more of a quality time person with having my husband and four precious children. Thanks for doing this study and look forward filling out the questionaire to see if my love language has changed over the past years. Do you think that your love language changes or stays the same?
2/24/2010 8:09:54 AM
Cheryl United States
My home is filled with people who will benefit from this book (me included) - I just bought 4 copies. Both of my grown kids, my granddaughter, my daughter's best friend, and my older brother live with my husband and I. Let me tell you, trying to understand each other is crucial for all of our survival : ) - this is going to be a great resource.
2/24/2010 9:01:16 AM
josh United States
Selma, yes the Love Dare is a book that can be purchased
2/24/2010 9:20:33 AM
Steven Penn United States
Steven Penn
I think it's good to know our love language but it seems all self centered and turned inward. It's good to know how we need others to love us but I think that's a given. We already know what we want others to do for us. We should be learning the love language of other people. That's what Jesus taught. Love God and love your fellow man. In order to love others we need to know how. The question isn't what's my love language but the question for me would be what's your love language? What are the ways others want us to love them?
2/24/2010 9:22:02 AM
Tanya Horn United States
Tanya Horn
Thank you for this.  This has recently come into my life from a friend, from a life plan coach, now from you guys!! I have purchased the 'For Singles' version and I am excited to read it and listen to the CD.  This would have really helped my last relationship, as I needed "Words of Affirmation" and my partner was very shy. He needed "Quality of Time" and thought he was needy all of the time.  It is all very intersteing!! Thank you!!
2/24/2010 10:14:09 AM
kelly United States
My husband and I just took the love language test I was quite surprised what his lanuage is, its kind of opposite of his personality.Mine on the other hand was right on.Thank you for having this for us,it really helps so we can understand each other better as well as others in your life.
2/24/2010 2:34:41 PM
Deborah Geyer United States
Deborah Geyer
I actually bought a book for everyone in my husband's and my family and gave them as Christmas gifts one year. Unfortunately I don't think anyone read it! I sometimes feel as if I'm watching in slow motion the interaction between spouses and siblings and parents, seeing how empty their love tanks are, seeing how futile their attempts are at expressing true love to one another, I could just cry. I know my father-in-law's love language is gifts ... and I also know that my mother-in-law's is NOT gifts. Every year he showers her with gifts on Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, on her birthday, at Christmas, and with every package before her, *I* can hear his resounding, "I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!" and every time he's shot down because she just doesn't "get it" and shoots him down because she's embarrassed by, irritated with, such an overly-generous show. It's so sad! Neither one is getting their love tank filled. Oh! I feel like saying, "Don't you want to FEEL loved?! Don't you want him/her to feel loved?!" So I just keep praying for everyone.
2/24/2010 8:52:41 PM
Brian G. King United States
Brian G. King
I see Dr. Chapman almost each Sunday at our church, he is a man that walks out his faith in his daily life and is a true man of God.
Read and love the book, given it away to many as a wedding gift.
Applied the same contents with our girls Jess & Jen.
Have a blessed week with Dr. Chapman.
K-love is a blessing!
2/24/2010 10:24:42 PM
Tammy United States
My husband and I have gone through the love language class, our church put it on for the young adults, its funny because we wern't even dating yet.  But we have a unique thing, we have the same love language, we even have the same order of the 5.  I hear that is very rare. It makes life a lot easier, it just proves god has it all planned out
2/24/2010 11:16:58 PM
Cherrie Radvany Australia
Cherrie Radvany
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2/25/2010 12:16:37 AM
Ty Parga Australia
Ty Parga
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2/25/2010 3:54:29 AM
Robin Hassler United States
Robin Hassler
I read the book The 5 Love Languages a few years ago.  At the time I thought I felt I spoke and felt loved in 3 of them, quality time, gifts, and words of affirmation.  Now, I realize that quality time is the primary love language, even though I love receiving gifts, and it is great receiving an encouraging word from a friend.
2/25/2010 3:16:13 PM
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2/26/2010 4:37:36 PM
Kent Decillis Australia
Kent Decillis
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2/26/2010 4:37:38 PM
Oleta Vanoort Australia
Oleta Vanoort
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1/2/2011 2:27:42 AM
Jane United States
How to get Gary's book ?

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