Life Coach Dwight Bain is on with us this morning with tips on helping parents transition through the different seasons of their child's life - especially those who have a child graduating this year. Here are Dwight's "Parenting Stages and strategies necessary to build strong kids":
Birth to puberty, (ages 0-12)-
Kids need a 'Caretaker' who can teach and help with daily tasks while the child gradually is learning these skills from their parent through positive role modeling, especially in the important areas of self-discipline and responsibility. Other ways for a child to grow in confidence and strength during these years is to help them find social connection and friends through school activities, church groups, youth sports or scouting. This higher level of involvement also connects kids with other healthy adults who can help kids learn even more because of teachers, coaches, and pastors who are investing into their young lives as they grow to the next level of maturity and future success.
Puberty to College Years, (12-21)-
The parenting strategy to use during the teen years is a combination of part Counselor and part Coach to help guide through the emotional issues of building relationships and dealing with hurt feelings; while balancing the tasks of learning to deal with difficulties in life and making wise educational or career choices. Psychologist John Trent calls this process ‘soft love mixed with hard love’, (For more on this concept of parenting, check out “The Two Sides of Love” published by Focus on the Family Publishing, 1999)
College years to Adulthood, (21-30)-
I believe that we always need our parents- it’s just that the need changes as we grow older. Little kids need a parent to help with personal hygiene, teens need their parents to help them develop healthy habits and by this stage young adults need honest advice and direction. These years are a great time for the parent/adult-child relationship to prosper since the young adult is out on their own dealing with life, yet still needs a 'Consultant' to bounce ideas off of as their build a life independent of their parents to firmly establish a life of their own.
I want you to know that millions of other parents have successfully launched their child from birth toward adulthood and you can too. There is a sign in the launch control room of the Kennedy Space Center that says it well, listen…
“It takes a team- to launch a dream.”
Know that you are not alone in this process. There are hundreds of resources available at our website as well as links to dozens of other groups driven by the desire to help you experience the great joy of watching a dream take flight, as well as provide the tools and training to help you if you’ve already crashed to get past the nightmare and not be afraid to dream again about what your son or daughter could be when they launch into a life of their own.
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