Jul 30 2010

For Men Only with Shaunti Feldhahn

It was probably like eavesdropping on a therapy session for Eric ... Shaunti Feldhahn, author and relationship expert (you may have seen her on the Today Show) helped Eric ... umm, helped guys - and really everyone ... better understand some of the differences between men and women and ways in which we can better communicate.

To hear the session/interview, click the links below:

For Men Only book

"Are you happy?" "Do you love me?"

Need my space


Jun 22 2010

Men & Respect

Author & Speaker Shaunti Feldhahn is with us this morning, talking about something men crave - R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

The Five Respect Needs of Men

1. Respect his judgement
2. Respect his abilities
3. Respect in communication
4. Respect in public
5. Respect in our assumptions

For more on this, check out Shaunti's column at iMom


May 26 2010

20 Ways to Create Greater Marital Connection

20 ways to create greater Marital Connection


By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach


(These are the softer sides of relationship which can feel fun, exciting or fulfilling)


Physiclal- connecting physically 


Emotional- connecting through feelings, moods, attitudes or being on the same wave-length


Intellectual- connecting through the world of current events in news, blogs, magazines or books


Educational- connecting through shared learning experiences in classes, seminars or workshops


Aesthetic- connecting through experiences of beauty in fine art, craftsmanship, antiques or nature


Creative- connecting while sharing ideas about designing or developing projects together


Recreational- connecting through shared sports, hobbies, exercise, travel or theme parks


Social- connecting through parties or events at work, church or with friends & family


Entertainment- connecting through music, TV, films, concerts, dining or shopping


Humor- connecting through shared laughter, giggles, comedy or silliness in any situation




(these are the harder sides of a relationship which may feel boring, difficult or challenging)


Work- connecting through common tasks, daily chores & responsibilities at home or in career


Time- connecting together with scheduling, planning, clocks, calendars or daily routines


Financial- connecting through shared values on budgeting, spending, saving or investing goals


Caregiving or Co-parenting- connecting through shared responsibility to care for others (or pets)


Conflict- connecting through differences in strongly held beliefs with mutual respect or admiration


Crisis- connecting through problems, pressures or painful events, especially in reaching out to others


Commitment-connecting through the shared belief of honoring marital vows as sacred promises


Spiritual- connecting through shared religious traditions, beliefs, ethics, values & worship styles


Communication- connecting verbally or nonverbally to share the ‘real you’ or listening to your partner


Trust- connecting through shared feelings of respect, honesty, integrity or confidence in your mate


Notice the differences between these 2 types of Marital Connection:



Tender Connection is about Romance & Chemistry


  • Media images tend to define the ultimate degree of love as feeling happy with that person you are spending time with right now instead of investing into a partner for life
  • If you only have a tender connection in your relationship, it leaves a potential gap open for a married person to essentially function as a ‘single person’ with the mindset of serving self over their spouse, resulting in a person feeling very, very alone.
  • View this as the “Me-My-I” mindset of the self-absorbed or pleasure seekers that avoid taking responsibility for their behavior or blame shift problems away from their selfish decisions to find a reason to show that it’s really your fault that they are the way they are or do the things they do.


Tough Connection is about Reality & Consequences


  • Biblical images of defining the ultimate degree of love as choosing to reach out to build a long term relationship as married “Partners” during the fun or frustrating times of life
  • If you have included the reality of a tough connection in your relationship, it closes the gap of being a self-serving or single person in the marriage, since the mindset and goal is of building marital unity.
  • View this as the “We-Us-Our” mindset of building a relationship together with each person taking ownership and responsibility for their part of the marriage as they serve and give to one another in love.

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May 17 2010

Shaunti Feldhahn - For Men Only

We had a chance to catch up with speaker and author Shaunti Feldhahn. Shaunti has written a number of books on relationships including "The Male Factor", "For Women Only" and "For Men Only" (written with her husband Jeff).  We focused on "For Men Only" - a book designed to provide men with the key to unlocking the mysterious ways of women.

To hear our interview, click the links below ...

How does a guy answer the question "Do these pants make me look fat"?

Why does your wife randomly bring something up from the past?

When a man wants to "fix" his wife's problem