May 24 2012

If You Could Go Back...

You often hear people say, If I could do it over again, I would do it so differently.

Maybe it’s about your teenage years, college, marriage, or raising kids.

I don’t know about you, but I want to learn from those lessons now, before I make the mistake. 

So when I saw this thing about what Grandmother’s say they would go back and differently.  I printed it out.  I’m going to post it at my fridge, so maybe some of these lessons you and I won’t have to learn the hard way.

Specifically about raising a family…

I would stop and read to and with them a lot more often and would enjoy simple times, like tending a garden, rather than resenting the request as an intrusion in the list of things I needed to get done.

I would have more humor in my home. Humor is like flour in a recipe and it brings it all together.

I would share the love of the Lord and not just the rules of good behavior. I think I often confused compliance with understanding.

I'd be patient and make pleasant memories with my children so they wouldn't remember all the times I was in a hurry, or mad, or unhappy and discontent. Instead they'd remember a mom who was patient, kind, and loving with them.

During the teen years I was dealing with disrespect or being ignored, and I allowed that to stifle me. I wish I had gone into their rooms then at bedtime and told them how much I loved them, asked how I could pray, and hugged them.

“Run and play with your kids. Be a child again. Your dirty house will be there tomorrow, but the children will soon be gone."

What would you go back and do differently?



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Comments (9) -

5/24/2012 9:58:16 AM
Amanda Tiemeyer United States
Amanda Tiemeyer
I would try to have more compassion, patience and love for all people.  I've really had a life changing experience going through my divorce since December and it has definitely made me more humble and appreciate the small stuff and realize all the unnecessary stuff that we think is necessary.  I would strive for more peace and love, and try to help others more.  Also spend as much time as possible with my children.
5/24/2012 10:01:33 AM
Theresa Pearce United States
Theresa Pearce
Live my childhood differently. I was reabelious, had temper tantrums, and refused to respect my parents. And now it is too late for they are gone. But praise God for his mercys and graces.
5/24/2012 10:06:40 AM
Sarah United States
I say I would change things, and yet if I did, I would miss out on various love that I received, and how would that be fair to all involved?

And yet....I am the survivor of a domestic violence marriage.  He has since passed away.  I loved him, and I believe somewhere within him, he loved me on some sort of level.  I finally filed for divorce after 13.5 had gotten to the point that I could no longer go on with the marriage.  I felt guilty, I felt scared, but I also felt victorious for not backing down and staying.  I had asked him some time after kicking him out of the house and filing for a divorce the #1 question anyone asks.....why?  He said he did it for "control".  CONTROL?  I have NO idea how much MORE control he could have had!  I would have given him the world and beyond!

I think sometimes that had I "known" what I do now, that I would not have fallen for the circumstances that led up to me getting with him...but somewhere I am SURE there is a lesson that I "needed to learn", because I KNOW that Jesus is my Lord, my redeemer, my healer, whereas it might have taken me forever to find Him.  I don't know.

I don't know what someone can learn from my past, other than if you are being abused, DON'T stay!  It breaks the covenant of marriage and NO ONE has the right to beat on another!
5/24/2012 2:18:30 PM
Steve Johnson United States
Steve Johnson
If I could go back and do it all over again.... I would not change a thing, because all the experiences I have had good and bad have made me the person I am today. I would not be who I am or where I am today if I did things differently. I am an individual and I am right where God wants me, all my problems are an adventure as me and God work through them!!
5/24/2012 5:48:50 PM
lisa johnson United States
lisa johnson
i have been very emotional these last few weeks concerning my mother. i think about the people i have lost in my life and i think why did i not spend more time with them. i want to spend the night with her and look into her eyes and always remember the way they look.i shall do that soon. thank you for letting me post here.
5/25/2012 12:57:27 PM
Vanessa Rodriguez United States
Vanessa Rodriguez
My near death truck accident where I died and went to heaven, I seen many persons on the left side going up a dark tunnel. These people were only people , that mom and dad knew. Then a bright light. appeared that grew brighter. Voices of joyous people and pets in a hill top in a meadow. Where the flowers and trees, animals all seemed alive like breathing with the breeze, so calm. 3 D effect. As I came closer to the flowers and nature, the animals laid side by side near the people in the meadow. The children laughed, talked and played without a single care. The parents didn't stop them from making noises, or from playing, running and jumping. I was astonished when, I came upon a bright Light that never hurt my eyes, that kept growing  before me. All of a sudden a man's voice said to me, "go back my child, you have work to do, it isn't your turn yet. Go back and gather my children, heal thyself."  I could not see him. I cam e back with a heavy boom to my chest.  Where I could see my body the wreck and the smells the sounds of everyone around me. I sat in mid air with three angels watching as my boyfriend pulled me out of the truck. He pulled my left arm shoulder socket while it was still warm and took my seat belt off. Crying and yelling to me, saying he had killed me, Omg. The EMT men had my duct taped to a board and something around my neck. I had contusions, concussions. whiplash, and more. Later I was diagnosed with vertigo, so dizzy and I hurt like hell. My head hurt, my body hurt all over. My necklace broke under the ER bed, the nurse gave me all the chain and 5 stones in my hand. He (Kerry) was Dsylexic and shouldn't have been driving without insurance. He was 29 and I was 39.I could see my body on the seat, the road, crawling without my glasses on. I wasn't even crawling on the road at all. I was in my seat belt in the Chevy S-10 pick-up in the hospital , I was hit by a Toyota Corolla. So why did I see all this for? I had internal bleeding the size of a football and they could not find the bleeding. Jesus healed me and they sent me home with him to Arlington, Texas.  I vomited and was cat scanned. I could not talk only moan. I looked at myself in the ER Room mirror as I carried my saline or whatever was in that bag in my arm that was on wheels.  I was blessed to see all this and to come back to raise my son (Matt). To Love and care for him, without his dad's help. Thank God, that he was not with us. He was in kindergarten at that time half a day. This accident happened to me in the morning before noon about 10:30 AM. He did see me in the hospital all cut and burned from the road burn and seat belt burns that saved my Life. Now I see  and care for my grandson (Mark), that is the same age as my son was. He even has a  white haired dog, just  like the one my boyfriend had given to my son .I was given this necklace before my accident and his class ring after our wreck. I need to find him, to return it to him. Because he said some day I would be better and then I could return it to him. As a sign of his Love and trust to me he gave it to me to take good care of it. I raised, Loved and cared for my two angels my daughters (Christine and Amelia). I can see my two daughters grown up and one is an EMT and the other is a Nurse and a Pharmacy Tech. I had more rapes and abuse, now I help others. For all these from incest at age 6 to 7 adult rapes, are my blessings in disguise. For this, I give all my glory to Jesus, Archangels, Saints and deceased Loved ones, that are assisting me to continue to bring about  PEACE!I had to get myself well with my own massage therapy knowledge of 250 hours and with what Dr Mark Mehaffey taught me working with him and his clients of work related accidents and car accidents as the one I was just in, I rehabilitated myself and Kerry hugged me in Lake Arrowhead in Wichita, Falls, Texas and popped my shoulder back in. Then his family helped take care of my son. Dad and mom came to get us, then in West Texas I took more therapy. I had to learn to walk, talk, and move, pour and lift things. I had to learn to think, read and write again. My math skills are almost gone. My brain is damaged as the doctor told me. I have gone to 3 years of college to learn again. I have taken one Reiki, I was born a Psychic. Plus, I have had  3 personalities, Kimberly, Amber and David which are all me Vanessa.... that have lived in my head since age 6 in order to cope with trauma.  I do not give up! I speak to many now, and for this was so painful, where I had to sit up to sleep, for what seemed to be 6 months or less I lost track. he gave me this 5 stones necklace before the wreck. All I can remember is I turned to the left and right said, or thought I said a car was coming and I spit. Then all went dark, and I was gone...Now I can share this experience with people. God blessed me, Amen.
5/25/2012 1:16:30 PM
Vanessa Rodriguez United States
Vanessa Rodriguez
I would want to Live as a normal 6 year old would, not with incest from an uncle that wasn't my uncle yet, until later when he married my mom's sister Elvera Deporto Pena Henderson. Harvey Henderson made me suffer and split into 4 personalities, I call my inner child ANGELS. This has been torture on my mind and my soul. Jesus has been with me and I am also a Psychic, so that Jesus gave me to survive. I would not want to be abused for 12 year marriage to my x husband that beat me and raped me. I would not have wanted my 7 adult rapes to occur. Anyways all this has made me the nice Psychic and Lady that I have become. God bless and don't abuse anybody or animal...
5/28/2012 8:41:03 AM
Calista Locklear United States
Calista Locklear
If i could go Back I would get my Family together AND give him on last hug  =(

GREENSBORO — A U.S. Marine from Randolph County was shot in the head Wednesday while on duty in Afghanistan.

Lance Cpl. Christopher Phoenix Jacob Levy underwent surgery, and his vital signs were stabilized enough for him to fly to Frankfurt, Germany, for more treatment, said Levy's stepfather, Kevin Sheek of Ramseur.

On Thursday, Levy's mother, Amanda Sheek, flew from Greensboro to Washington, landing about 6 p.m. She plans to fly to Germany on Friday to be with her son, Kevin Sheek said. Levy's biological father will meet her there.

In the meantime, Kevin Sheek said, the family is relying on his faith and the prayers of family, friends and co-workers to cope with the news they received Wednesday afternoon.

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"It has been a whirlwind of both emotions and well wishes," Kevin Sheek said. "I have a prayer chain that goes from here to Kentucky to Texas to Oregon and 10 other states on Facebook."

Family and close friends call Levy “Jacob.” The military and classmates call him “Chris,” Sheek said. His middle name, “Phoenix,” is his Lumbee name. He was proud of his Native American heritage, Kevin Sheek said.

Levy, who was stationed at Camp Lejeune in Jacksonville, is the oldest of three boys. He graduated from Eastern Randolph High School in 2009, where he was a wrestler and standout cross country runner.

“Basic training was a breeze for him,” Kevin Sheek said.

He could run a six-minute mile and had 7 percent body fat.

Military service is common in Kevin and Amanda Sheek’s family, so the influence was there, Kevin Sheek said. Levy joined the Junior ROTC in the seventh grade and decided to join the Marines in the 10th grade, signing the enlistment papers before he graduated in 2009.

This tour in Afghanistan, for which he volunteered, was Levy’s second. Levy was an infantry rifleman and machine gunner who previously helped train Kenyan soldiers, Kevin Sheek said.

On Wednesday, Levy was shot while on patrol in an area in Afghanistan that was “deemed nonhostile,” Kevin Sheek said.

The Marine Corps has not described to the family how the incident occurred or if any of Levy’s comrades were injured, he said.

5/28/2012 10:27:19 AM
Vanessa Rodriguez United States
Vanessa Rodriguez
I am a survivor of domestic violence in which I was beaten and raped in my marriage of 12 years. He did batter me and he constantly punched with a clenched fist, black and blue I was to live with bruises. Headaches, migraines, and tummy problems, skin problems, depression, thoughts of suicide, and later in Life bleeding in my lady organs. I was dragged by my hair, and punched until I became unconscious and I would wake to find myself in different places. He first punched me when I was a few months pregnant of my first daughter, and I held my belly all the way home, bent over crying in the passenger side of the car, for about a 20 mile drive and he didn't care to take me to the hospital. At home I bled and spotted, and cramped, had pain. He acted, as if he had done nothing. He closed the door to my left ankle in a shopping center. Said to shut up and sit in the passengers side all the time. He wouldn't allow me to drive much! Through our marriage he managed to take away two cars,and a truck, sold them all. Hairline fractured it where I couldn't walk without crutches. A small ant bit me in one eye in a water bed we slept on and cookie crumbs were on the floor, so he beat me too. Then the eye doctor hit him with some papers angrily saying to him that I could have lost my eye! He didn't care about us, and my daughters health. He had just played the part, so others would think he was a great father. Then later he fell off a ladder and hurt himself at work painting, and broke his foot.

He took me dancing and was possessed. A devil that attacked me all night. Ash all over his skin and suit. A long tail he had that slapped the ground. In his eyes I seen a red fire in a hill burning. Heard people moaning in agony. I wrapped my rosary in my hand and prayed all night after the dance. He could not bother our baby in the crib, just me. He took my beautiful life day and night from me, he took the best years of my Life! All I had was Jesus and my daughters to Love. He said I was nobody and that I was ugly! He kept me secluded and took away everything and everybody from me, even pets. He allowed my daughter to have a dog or cats even when I said no. She collected stray cats. He would kick the dog and tie a huge chain to the clothes line outside. He would kick and yell at the dog until he urinated out of fear, whimpering away.I was asked if I liked something in the house, and I would say I did like many things. So, he began to pawn or sell things for drugs or beer, he would smoke marijuana. I would throw it out the car window and he beat me for that. He snorted cocaine and I drove him to the hospital because he was bleeding toilet filled with blood. He was blueish, green in his skin. I called my dad that, came hurriedly to be with my baby Amelia, then, my other older daughter Christine. Me, I was full of breast milk, and I quickly gathered my purse with no money, and searched for the car keys. I drove carefully and took him to the emergency room. The nurse there said to me that he was possibly doing drugs. Stuffed his nostrils with gauze as I watched in horror all the blood he was losing. They tried to pinch his nose and tilt his head and that didn't work. So I watched the nurse stuff gauze to stop the bleeding. I saved his life and I know wonder why. Because I am a very loving and caring person.

He annulled our marriage of 12 years. As if he wanted nothing to do with us. I gave him two beautiful daughters that are my best friends now, Christy and Ami, my EMT and MY pharmacy tech and RN,LVN. I even raised a son Matt and his dad too served in jail and did drugs and alcohol and stole too.I am still raising him! My 17 year old son, Matt without his dad too. No need for abusive drunks etc in our lives! Plan a way safely out, pack some important documents, clothes, say you are doing something else, and get to friend or relative, shelter. I did all of those and left him with a restraining order. Which didn't work, I had to call the cops he was asleep in my apt, and left some small bag of cocaine. I found in the closet when the cop came and kicked him to wake up and leave unless he wanted to be arrested. He wanted me to get caught with the drug. He was an alcoholic. He kept stalking me and I would have him bring my daughters back. He got to the point he took my jigsaw and drill that I got paid for praying for people. He pawned and sold all the 2 cars and truck. Sold all the appliances, broke all I wanted that I loved to do like paint, acrylics, Christmas Ornaments. He took away my nice high heels and clothes, and dressed me in black mostly. He would control all my life! Throwing bras and all across the dressing room doors, whether I liked them or not, he said I had to wear only what he chose for me! Not too much white or bright color of clothes or shoes I could own, and he would buy a small amount of groceries for us, and Show off in making barbecues for family. Nobody knew he was starving me of Love and nutrition and my daughters too. When we came home ,if I happened to look up at a man anywhere in the day or night, he would beat me at home. So I learned to put my head down. He could only stare at women up and down and undress them with his eyes. He would call home and not say a word to check up on me.

Destroyed my dresses that I sewed, pawned the sewing machine he had bought me, with a hydralic lift. I managed to hide a few dresses, and the girls Easter Dresses and matching dresses for the doll and bunny. I saved few dresses of mine in a dance we were in. A brand new dancing dress, that I have never used, I saved that and have them to this day. He sold the jewelry except the rings and few things I hid. He took away my money from the bank, I had made $12 an hour and he was making $7.50 and hour. He became very angry and jealous, saying the man should make more! Well, then he took my chance to become licensed Massage Therapist, by sabotaging 2 test times. He took away my Love! Sent me to a deep dark. He would come in at 2- 4 am and in my sleep he would rape me from behind. The first week of marriage he said I was his "B****!" He said from then on I could not kiss, hug, or Love him! he would decide when he would Love me! He starved me out of Love and constantly every sentence was curse words through our marriage. When around others, he put on an act of another face. Like he had two faces. he beat me in front of my daughters. When he threw my daughter against the kitchen wall that is when I heard her body hit hard. That made me snap and I stopped sleeping with him for the last two years. In that house we lived last before moving to Austin was a man ghost, that shot his wife, and 2 daughters, then himself. My daughter could see that. She was ill alot and I made sure I got her well each time. He never cared for us and would take away or insurance starting with the school, then Blue Cross Blue shield.I stayed cause of the kids, and no money no car. In Austin I pretended to look for a house, went to the other floor and applied for a divorce. In court for a divorce daughter spoke said she wanted to live with me. He took away his family and my family from me and friends. He took away car parts, and the keys, so I was forced to walk in danger with his daughters.  He started to take everything he could from me! Left me with Jesus and darkness.
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