Apr 26 2012

I WALK

This is for anyone who has suffered from an addiction, or bad choices in their life;

 

 

 

1. I walk down the street, There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I am lost...I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. I fall in. It takes forever to find a way out.


2. I walk down the street, There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But, it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.


3. I walk down the street, There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it there. I still fall in...it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.


4. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.


5. I walk down another street.

 

 by Portia Nelson


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Comments (31) -

4/26/2012 6:19:10 PM
Pinks United States
Pinks
Unfortunately, I'm stuck in step 3 (occasionally going back to step 2). How do you get to step 4?
4/26/2012 6:33:18 PM
jd United States
jd
Pinks@ Give our pastors a call, at 800-525-5683. If you don't get through right away, leave a message...and ask them to call you back. They can help you.
4/26/2012 6:36:06 PM
wgpeter United States
wgpeter
Thanks JD. I ended up going to rehab for addictions for 52 days, ending the beginning of February. At the start of a family weekend they opened the day with this story. I have been trying to remember how it went due to falling into some of the same patterns I walked in back then. It is the truth. We addicts try and mean our best but sometimes it takes quite a few failures to finally get out of that pit. Please pray for me, I'm struggling trying to get out of that pit now, but I know there is freedom if I just keep going. I am living in my car right now trying to restore things at home. I guess even falling on your face is forward motion if you keep getting up and going towards the goal.
4/26/2012 6:46:29 PM
jd United States
jd
wgpeter@ Hang on Bro....and remember it's just one step at a time. One day at a time, one hour, one minute at a time. We all stumble, we all fall. The thing we have to do, is keep getting back up. Keep your focus on God...He can and will help you.
4/26/2012 6:56:58 PM
wgpeter United States
wgpeter
Thanks, JD. Sometimes it's hard to think there is ever a way out of this mess. But I know your right. One step at a time. Just tired of failing.
4/26/2012 7:02:18 PM
Pinks United States
Pinks
@jd: Thanks; will give them a call soon.

@wgpeter: I understand. Romans 7:15 seems to sum up my situation. Thank God for His grace and mercy, but it's discouraging  when you fall at the drop of a hat Frown.
4/26/2012 7:13:07 PM
wgpeter United States
wgpeter
Pinks@ Right now that section of scripture seems to be my life verses. I hate it. I've been so sick & tired of being sick & tired but still keep falling & failing. IDK, sometimes it seems there is just one way out, but I know that's not the right answer. Anyways, hang in there, Pinks@. Somehow we'll make it, so will others in our boats, God willing.
4/26/2012 7:23:24 PM
sarah United States
sarah
I work at an amazing Xerox and support facility called harborcrest located in Aberdeen Washington. I will be sharing this with the counselors and patients. Thank you!
4/26/2012 7:23:38 PM
sarah United States
sarah
That's detox
4/26/2012 7:26:45 PM
jd United States
jd
Sarah@ Thank you for what you do!

4/26/2012 7:45:21 PM
Sue Lemons United States
Sue Lemons
jd, this could apply to anyone struggling with addictions, eating disorders, or just plain obesity.  Thanks, this has made me look at my own situation with a new perspective!

Sue
4/26/2012 7:48:14 PM
Michelle United States
Michelle
What I have to hold onto and claim is that He will finish the work that he started in us unto the day of completion...God is faithful!!! I continue to trust that All things work together for my good for me because I know in my heart that I love Him and that I belong to Him...no matter what things look like, I will trust Him in ALL things...thank the Lord that I am saved by grace and covered by the blood...I pray for all of us that are struggling with these addictions in life...he will deliver us.
4/26/2012 7:55:14 PM
Courtney United States
Courtney
I've heard this before & love it because I can relate to it. Tomorrow I will have 4 months clean & sober.  I've been struggling a lot with my addiction this week.  I was on my way to an AA meeting when I heard u read this, I've fallen into that hole to many times & each time it was harder & harder to get out of.Thank u so much for reminding me that I don't have to fall in again. God knew that I needed this tonight. There's no drug that will ever give me what God can
4/27/2012 5:28:02 AM
Jennifer United States
Jennifer
Thank you so much for sharing
4/27/2012 9:51:35 AM
Victoria United States
Victoria
I am going to be sharing this with our Celebrate Recovery tonight.  If this is not a perfect picture for all of us on the journey of life and the many decisions that we make in life.  I pray I will recognize that hole, whatever hurt or hang up that comes along that I will learn to take that different street!  Thank you so much for sharing this it is for ALL of us that walk this life.
4/27/2012 10:20:52 AM
Deb United States
Deb
This is also for people that suffer from anxiety. Giving it all to God is what my heart tells me to do but my brain sometimes fails to let it all go.
4/27/2012 3:42:15 PM
Meghann Machen United States
Meghann Machen
That really hit me right in the heart, I and my husband suffered from an addiction 2 years ago. At that time we had a 6 month old baby and neither one of us had a job. Luckily we were able to quit cold turkey, without the help of a rehab center. I thank God everyday that we were able to fight our addiction and prevail.
4/28/2012 1:25:59 PM
Janie United States
Janie
This came at such a wonderful time in my struggles. My problem is addiction to abusive relationships. I have gone back into the same relationship 4 times now (the national average is a victim will return 7 times before she is either killed, stops trying to leave, or manages to break her addiction). I am 61 days clean of this addiction, but still struggle to walk down another street. Addiction to abuse, like other addictions, does not always make sense. I have shared this message with my Victim's Advocate and my counselor.
Thanks so much for the right words and the right time for so many of us!!
4/29/2012 9:33:29 AM
Debby United States
Debby
To all who are falling and/or on the edge....There is hope! I know I have suffered for 15 years with extreme drug addictions.I am 32 years old. God has finally set me free. I have now been clean and sober for just over 2 years. Don't fool yourself...it is not easy, BUT JESUS WILL HELP YOU THROUGH!! 2 days ago I got a tattoo of the word "believe" tangled up in chains that are expolding. It somes it up. Believe and your chains will break.
4/30/2012 7:45:44 PM
Emmy United States
Emmy
Thanks! thats a great metaphor! to those who are struggling: CLING ON TO JESUS!
Pray for the awe-some deliverance that only the Great Almighty can give you!
5/1/2012 11:04:51 PM
Amy United States
Amy
@Pinks,

If you are, as you say stuck on step 3 and going back to step 2, I can give my experience as a Big Book Sponsor. I am a BB Thumper because I firmly believe that AA is where recovery happens. That having been said, I don't want to cast darkness on other programs. I will tell you that I know several people who have done recovery via Celebrate Recovery and other groups and thankfully, they made their way into AA. That is not to say the other ones don't provide a measure of relief. They do. But maybe for the person who has a problem with drugs or alcohol. But, the REAL alcoholic, as described in the Big Book? Again, each one I know that came into AA from other 12 step programs (Not counting NA/CA/etc...) FINALLY found the answers they were looking for. Because they were the REAL alcoholics as described in the BB. There is a difference. I had been dry for 3 years one time and then the fateful day came when I had no mental defense against the first drink and I stayed drunk for 4 years. Prior to that drink, had I gone to CR or the like, I likely would have been ok. When I had first quit, i was having a problem with alcohol but had been able to put it down. But, once I had that first drink? All bets were off and I went on that 4 year bender. I had crossed into the world that only the real alki knows. Once there, recovering is EASY provided you are willing to go to ANY length. That is where AA comes in. The steps are written for ONE purpose - a spiritual awakening (hence the reason that church programs follow this format) The trouble is that unless the steps are being taught the way they were, when they were written through divine influence, then you don't get the entire benefit of the program. Hence, your false belief of being stuck at step 3/flopping back to 2. A hard core, Big Book Thumper, who KNOWS their basic text, having done the work and lives in the solution, can tell you something that you likely have not heard. This is why you need an AA Big Book sponsor. You need someone with experience working the steps who fully understands them, as they were intended when they were written. FALSE - You CAN flop back to step 2 if you REALLY are on step 3. WHY?  FACT - If you REALLY made a decision to turn you will and life over to the care of God, as you understand Him then that is it. You have FULLY conceded that you are an alki, only God can restore you to sanity and then you made a decision. A DECISION. To say you are flopping back and forth is saying, "I have decided NOT to turn my will and life over"... Guess what? If you made a step 3 decision, you cannot go back. Some people even still drink at this point. Yes, really. And it is understandable because until the rest of the work is done, you have not straightened out mentally. It is when the spirit gets well, that the mental obsession is taken away. There is much more to this answer. Now, if step 3 is ONLY a decision, then of course you are having trouble. No decision comes to fruition without ACTION. The Big Book says, "Next we are LAUNCHED on a VIGOROUS course of action" Well that means it is time to start accepting responsibility by doing a moral inventory. (Moral means honest). Think of it like this... If I DECIDE I need to go grocery shopping because the cupboards are bare but I stay on the couch watching TV all day, then later when it is time to cook dinner, I am not going to be blessed with full cupboards. A decision requires action. Inaction keeps you immersed in the problem. So, I make a decision to get food and even though I have all these self centered fears and concerns, don't want to get off the couch and stop watching my favorite show, I DO it anyways. Then I immediately begin to FEEL better. I have taken action to solve the problem. Huh, Imagine that?!! So, you made a decision? Now put your pen to paper and get busy. It is not fun. It is scary and painful and most importantly it is ENLIGHTENING! I could not ever have done this with someone who did not know what she was talking about. I barely survived my last 4 year drunk. God spared me from a suicide attempt and I crawled into AA after 41 days in the last rehab I will ever see. I got a Big Book sponsor and my life changed 100% very quickly because I changed. In doing my 4th and 5th step, Scales of pride fell from my eyes. My attitudes about everything and everyone changed. I began to experience freedom and joy. I Believed in God but had lost faith somewhere along the line. AAs first 11 steps showed me how to be truly honest about who I am and how I tick thus enabling me to grow into a faith in God that is unshakable. Within 11 months I was doing my 12th step - carrying THIS message to other alcoholics. I was sponsoring. I have sponsored several who have had Church recovery programs and were not doing well. When they come in and hear people talk about the process of the steps, they know that they were not taken as deep as they needed to go. I have watched these women bloom into the most lovely flowers in as little as a month of working with them. It is all about understanding the language of the steps and having a sponsor who Thumps the BB. That sponsor is going to tell you how it is and what you need to do and that sponsor is going to let you know when you are digging in your heals and she is going to encourage you forward without fear of hurting your feelings. You are an alki, hence you are sensitive anyways so a sponsor who has your best interest at heart is going to hurt your feelings sometimes, for YOUR benefit. She is also going to love you much more than you know! Yes, it is good to KEEP GOING to church recovery and it is good to be involved in a congregation and talk to your pastor, etc... But if you really, really want what the Big Book of AA offers, you gotta go to AA and get a BB sponsor. What does the BB offer? Here is my favorite line... "We are 100 men and women who have recoverED from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body" YES!! RecoverED. That does not mean that a recovered person is not alcoholic. It means that when the soul sickness is gone, we straighten out mentally/emotionally. We no longer have the compulsion to drink, hence we never put it in our bodies, thereby setting off the physical craving, setting off the mental obsession... I am recoverED from a hopeless state of mind and body. I am an alcoholic and always will be, but I have straightened out, first spiritually, then mentally and I got physically well during the process. I work with other alcoholics constantly. I speak often. I go to treatment centers and I sponsor several women. I am active in service. God is with me on this journey and always has been. But today I have unshakable faith even during very difficult times. AA showed me how to live a God centered, faithful, purposeful life. So, I continue on my journey, ever seeking a deeper and broader relationship with the God of my understanding. Please find an AA sponsor, for she will still encourage you to go to CR but she will guide you through the steps the way that only an experienced AA sponsor can. God Bless you. Move on to your 4th step, please... scales of pride will fall from your eyes and you will change. You are so loved.
5/2/2012 5:06:15 AM
Amy United States
Amy
@ PINKS - I reread your comments just now because I was bothered that I may have misaddressed you. I just now see that you did NOT say you are an alcoholic! I am so sorry. I often read that right into it when I hear or read another one talking about being stuck in the steps. As soon as I hear or read that, alarm bells start going off in my head that are blaring the noise, "She is drowning, throw her a life boat" and I get very focused on delivering the message of AA, that i soon forget what I read in the first place. If you are a candidate for AA or NA or CA, etc... Please go to the appropriate A and get help there ALSO. Otherwise, please disregard. I would delete my comment but I do not see how to do that and so, I guess God had planned on me sharing the AA message last night on this list of comments, either for you or for another.
5/2/2012 9:41:21 AM
Robert Emmons United States
Robert Emmons
Thank you for this statement. I regularly attend the ARP 12-Step program, and I feel that this is one that I should share at my next meeting. Thank you for providing this to those of us who are fighting to overcome our addictions. We need all the tools to be free from our addictions. I live free from my addictions one moment at a time. There are days where I do stumble over the cracks in the sidewalk, but I get back up on my feet and fight to stay on the path of the straight and narrow.
5/2/2012 9:48:58 AM
Robert Emmons United States
Robert Emmons
@JD. If I may, I would like to copy and paste this and save it to pass out a few of these at my next ARP (Addiction Recovery Program) 12-Step program. It was based off of the AA Program, it was adapted to include any and all addictions, and not just alcohol. I feel that there will be several people there who would like to have a copy of this.

Thank you.
Robert,
Vernal, Utah.
5/2/2012 1:37:54 PM
Amy United States
Amy
@ Robert, Just to see if it would work, as it does on some sites, I opened up wordpad and then minimized it. I Highlighted some of your text, right clicked and hit copy. Then I maximized wordpad and pasted it in. It works.

You can print it once you have pasted it into a document.

Stay on the beam, my friend. Sometimes, it can get a little difficult. After all, life gets lifey! And that is when I realize, God is giving me an opportunity for spiritual growth!


5/2/2012 7:07:30 PM
Randy Jones United States
Randy Jones
The "I Walk" poem was written by a lady in Seattle (who has since passed away), who was attending a Dr. Wayne Dyer conference several years ago, in Seattle. Dr. Dyer appears regularly appears on PBS, and has recently been on, promoting his new book "Wishes Fulfilled: Mastering the Art of Manifesting". At the beginning of his most recent PBS program, he starts out by mentioning the lady who wrote "I Walk". At the beginning of the Seattle lecture, the attendees were given a 5 X 7 card, and asked to write down the 5 chapters of their life. That lady is the person who wrote this on her card; where it originated.
5/2/2012 7:16:04 PM
Debra United States
Debra
Thanks so much for sharing! I had seen this (and related quite well, I might add!!)several years ago. I am now in Celebrate Recovery and this is the story of so many of our lives.
I am so thankful for the way God is using KLOVE to minister to our world. Hallelujah!!
5/2/2012 7:41:44 PM
Melissa Fullerton United States
Melissa Fullerton
I thank God for all of you at K-Love every day I've learned so much from y'all! Thanks for this, my son who is 18 is walking down this very road & it really hit home. I lift him up in prayer every day. God bless all of you.
5/3/2012 6:15:35 AM
Robert Emmons United States
Robert Emmons
@Amy.
I have copied, pasted, saved to my flash drive, and printed off 10 copies (before you had responded). Sorry. I was merely requesting permission to use this, and with your response I got it. Thank you all at K-Love for what you do in giving us the strength and the courage to carry on through every day life. When the path of the straight and narrow becomes congested or bumpy, your music and words gives us all the reassurance that we will make it through o.k.
5/3/2012 10:00:15 AM
Amy United States
Amy
@ Everyone, I feel that it is imperative to say more on the subject of 12 step programs, lest it appear that I am promoting AA as the ONLY 12 step program. Certainly it is NOT.

AA, being the 'Grand daddy' of the 12 step programs was designed with ONE purpose, being a spiritual awakening. At the time the steps were written by Bill W (he claimed and we all believe that they were written with divine influence), alcoholics that came to AA were of the low bottom variety. Those who were considered absolutely hopeless. The low bottom drunk is the alcoholic who cannot ever, under any circumstance, stay stopped. When an alcoholics bottom has gotten so low, it is fair to say that this variety of alki has caused so much harm and destruction that they are consumed with guilt, shame and remorse at all times. The only solution being to add alcohol, hence oblivion. In THIS case, AA tends to be the solution for alcoholics. Today, fortunately AA is fairly well known about and alcoholics have the opportunity to get well before they reach such a low that life has become intolerable. Unfortunately, many people who qualify do not want to align themselves with 'THOSE people' in AA and they seek what AA offers via other means. (Same with NA/CA etc...) 12 step programs are fantastic for EVERY PERSON with ANY living problems. Church programs, based on AAs 12 steps are wonderful for the average person with the average difficulties in life. For an addict or alcoholic it is perfectly fine too. IF that is the program that is desired. At the very least, ANY 12 step program is better than living in that misery. It is important to understand what you are being offered in the program of your choice. AA, the grand daddy of them all, GUARANTEES freedom! Provided the member is willing to go to ANY length, doing the work AS WE ARE INSTRUCTED. It WORKS! The only AA members who say they ever think of drinking and have a struggle are the ones who choose the 'easier, softer way' and they do the steps the way they want and only the ones they want. You can spot em' at every meeting. The AAs who truly give up the fight, do the work with a BB sponsor, who teaches how to do the steps ALL the way, THE way they are meant to be done. Those AAs are truly happy, joyous and free. They NEVER fight a drink.  There are no white knuckles on BB thumpers. I cannot speak about CR without personal experience but I can pass on what I have been told by members of AA who also go to CR. I have been told that the steps are not practiced in the same depth. But that does not make it wrong or ineffective. It means that one simply needs to know what it is they seek to have and what each 12 step program offers. NA is NOT a 12 step program for me. The steps are the same but the personal experience is NOT. If I go to an NA meeting, which I have done with my dual addicted sponsees, I hear stories I cannot identify with - AT ALL! An addict comes to AA and has the same experience. An addict who sells themselves for drugs is not likely to hear an alcoholic speak of the same experience. Of course, there is no judgement = after all, it is the addiction that does that! But the addict is NEVER going to open up completely and go down deep in a 4th and 5th step, with an AA sponsor. I, a low bottom drunk could not have gotten what AA gave me, if I went to CR because I would not have identified with most. Further, I want to go to meetings of AA, not meetings of various addictions, simply because my experiences are not the same. I want to be there to put my hand out to the next alcoholic who enters the room.

So, if you are alcoholic and want TOTAL freedom, AA is where it started. If you are an addict and want freedom, NA. If you are a family member of a drunk, ALANON. If you are suffering from living problems, other 12 step programs. ALL 12 step programs are beneficial and MOST AA members will tell their sponsees to KEEP GOING to CR if they are being helped there. There are good people there who are ALL trying to recover.

AA is NOT the ONLY answer. It IS the answer that most alcoholics discover when they get low enough. If CR gives you freedom from WHATEVER your beast is, and you never have white knuckles... then it is working for you!

What ever program one attends and WORKS, if it is working for you - WONDERFUL! Keep doing what you are doing but keep your mind open to other possibilities. There is NO harm in attending meetings of other programs that are appropriate, so that at the very least - you have a wider network of companions who want to live life with God consciousness! May you all be blessed.
5/6/2012 4:27:56 AM
Robby Fulton United States
Robby Fulton
DJ,

Thank you for posting this and being able to hear God's message when He calls you.  As I am overjoyed to see from all the comments, this posting has helped many people through their struggles.

God is an amazing and mysterious God and by following the Path He has Laid for me I was able to find hear this poetry and through the Grace and Forgiveness of our Sweet Lord's Sacrifice am healed of my addiction.  Though I may stumble along my path I have no worries of falling since Christ is my companion.  I fully see the disgust and disease lying in these holes and turned from the broken path to the unblemished one God had Planned for me.

With a humbled heart,
Your brother in Christ
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