Jan 08 2010

Love Dare - Day 3

Day 3

Love is not selfish

 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;
give preference to one another in honor. —Romans 12:10

 

We live in a world that is enamored with “self.” The culture around us teaches us to focus on our appearance, feelings, and personal desires as the top priority. The goal, it seems, is to chase the highest level of happiness possible. The danger from this kind of thinking, however, becomes painfully apparent once inside a marriage relationship.

If there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness. Unfortunately it is something that is ingrained into every person from birth. You can see it in the way young children act, and often in the way adults mistreat one another. Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves. Yet you cannot point out the many ways your spouse is selfish without admitting that you can be selfish too. That would be hypocritical.

Why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high expectations for our mate? The answer is a painful pill to swallow. We are all selfish.

When a husband puts his interests, desires, and priorities in front of his wife, that’s a sign of selfishness. When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she spends meeting the needs of her husband, that’s a sign of selfishness. But love “does not seek its own” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Loving couples—the ones who are enjoying the full purpose of marriage—are bent on taking good care of the other flawed human they get to share life with. That’s because true love looks for ways to say “yes.”

One ironic aspect of selfishness is that even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain bragging rights or receive a reward. If you do even a good thing to deceitfully manipulate your husband or wife, you are still being selfish. The bottom line is that you either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself.

Love is never satisfied except in the welfare of others. You can’t be acting out of real love and selfishness at the same time. Choosing to love your mate will cause you to say “no” to what you want so you can say “yes” to what they need. That’s putting the happiness of your partner above your own. It doesn’t mean you can never experience happiness, but you don’t negate the happiness of your spouse so you can enjoy it yourself.

Love also leads to inner joy. When you prioritize the well-being of your mate, there is a resulting fulfillment that cannot be duplicated by selfish actions. This is a benefit that God created and reserves for those who genuinely demonstrate love. The truth is, when you relinquish your rights for the sake of your mate, you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage.

Nobody knows you as well as your spouse. And that means no one will be quicker to recognize a change when you deliberately start sacrificing your wants and wishes to make sure his or her needs are met.

If you find it hard to sacrifice your own desires to benefit your spouse, then you may have a deeper problem with selfishness than you want to admit.

 

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I truly want what’s best for my husband or wife?

• Do I want them to feel loved by me?

• Do they believe I have their best interests in mind?

• Do they see me as looking out for myself first?

 

Whether you like it or not, you have a reputation in the eyes of those around you, especially in the eyes of your spouse. But is it a loving reputation? Remember, your marriage partner also has the challenge of loving a selfish person. So determine to be the first to demonstrate real love to them, with your eyes wide open. And when all is said and done, you’ll both be more fulfilled.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).

 

Today’s Dare

 Whatever you put your time, energy, and
money into will become more important
to you. It’s hard to care for something
you are not investing in. Along with
restraining from negative comments,
buy your spouse something that says,
“I was thinking of you today.”

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Click here to buy a copy of The Love Dare book.  

Click here for a free online journal for the full 40 day challenge.

 

Material taken from The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, copyright © 2009 by B&H Publishing Group. Used by permission.  Unauthorized reproduction in any format is strictly prohibited by law.

Reproduced with permission

Comments (83) -

1/8/2010 4:09:20 AM
No Name United States
No Name
Goodmorning KLOVE,
I wanted to ask ya'll to wish my friend a Happy Birthday today. She is 24 today(Jan. 8) Her name is Cathy in Lubbock, Texas. She said that she listens to ya'll all the time and just loves your show. She said she listens to yall all the time at work. I was hoping ya'll can send her a Birthday shout out for me please. Can you maybe do if you can after about 9:15 at least. She has to be at work at 9:15. Thank you so very much. I don't want to say my name on here but I am her best friend.

P.S. I also wanted to say that I pray for ya'll all the time and I love your show myself. God Bless ya'll and for what ya'll do in peoples lives everyday. Have a blessed day.
1/8/2010 4:31:55 AM
LeAnn United States
LeAnn
I just wanted to share that I am doing the Love Dare with you.  Only I am doing it a little differently.  I am not married or in a relationship at the moment so the traditional way is out for me.  I am in the process or recovering from an eating disorder.  During this process I've been doing a lot of work on my relationship with myself.  I am choosing to do the Love Dare with myself to continue working on that relationship.  Thanks for doing this, I think its Awesome!
1/8/2010 4:37:49 AM
Tara Coombs United States
Tara Coombs
I am SO very excited for todays dare. I love my husband very much and while we have a fabulous marriage there is always room to make things even stronger. Thanks again for doing this with all of us, what a blessing. It is nice to see all the different situations and also to see there are some people in the same situations as i read some of the pastcomments. We can all be encouragers to each other and lift each other up. Ladies just rememeber this, there is MUCH power in a praying wife, God is always listening!
1/8/2010 5:00:05 AM
shelly Warren United States
shelly  Warren
AMEN, thank you for such great inspiration. May God bless today!!!
1/8/2010 5:10:05 AM
chloe United States
chloe
This is sooo cool!
I want to do it, but I'm not married.
1/8/2010 5:31:29 AM
Matthew Lowder United States
Matthew Lowder
This is though!  I have been married for 6 years, have 3 kids and sometimes it is hard.  I have been praying for many years that God would teach me to love.  It is so easy to just check out, raise up walls and ride out a empty emotionless marriage.  But I do want more, more of the marriage that God has planned for me, so when I was listening on the first day I decided to do the love dare.  Right away it is making me painfully confront all the things that keep me from loving my wife, like my negativity and overwhelming selfishness.  As this happens though I can already see my spouse responding to my fast of negativity and "strange" behavior.  This is exactly what I need, a Love Boot Camp of sorts. Thank you for all that you do.
1/8/2010 5:33:30 AM
Carrie United States
Carrie
Good Morning,
  I wanted to thank everyone at KLOVE for sharing this love dare challange. I'm so busy it seems like I don't have the time to read anymore. So this message being broadcasted on the air has helped me to keep up with it. I believe that it will help my marriage and bring my husband and I closer together. Thanks again for inspiring me.

God Bless,
Carrie (Borger, TX)
1/8/2010 5:33:40 AM
Jen United States
Jen
Yesterday was pretty successful for me.  Since I had a snow day, I went out before my love got off work, and did many of the things he normally takes on the responsiblity for, after he's already worked a 10 hour day at work.  
My act of kindness included brushing the 10 inches of snow off all of our big outside "toys", gates, etc... cleaning off my car and having it ready to move when he came home and blew snow, getting the mail (ours is a rural box shared with a group, so it's down the street from us,)putting new food in the several bird and squirrel feeders, and having dinner ready for him as soon as he finished snow removal from our house and his parents.  
While it sounds like not much, it took a couple of hours...which he didn't have to now do...and...it gave me a new appreciation of how much work he does do for us, that I just accept him taking the responsibility for.

Today's gift will be harder - working, finding time and a rural area make this a bit challenging.  I'm going to keep an eye on the comments today to see what others are "gifting"   Normally I could gift him with so much, but real thought and love needs to go into this particular gift...I hope whatever it is will touch his heart tonight when I give it to him...
1/8/2010 5:38:29 AM
Aaron United States
Aaron
I agree with Tara in that there is MUCh power in a praying wife. If it werent for my mom and her prayer life, my dad would be in an asylum right now, and I would no doubt be there with him.

As far as today's dare goes, remember that this DOES NOT have to be an extravagant gift such as fine jewelry or a huge bouquet of flowers.  Something simple like a couple of flowers and a card or a lunch date and a small stuffed animal or even just a thoughtful card and his/her favorite candy.  The possibilities and combinations are endless !!  Remember, TIME IS PRICELESS and unless the other person is very materialistic, no amount of MONEY spent will mean as much as the amout of QUALITY TIME spent with them.
1/8/2010 5:42:47 AM
Michele United States
Michele
Thank you K-Love for the Love Dare.  I have been
married 23 years and it has been a struggle to be
there that long but only thru the grace of God have we done it. Yes, Tara, God is always listening and has been so good to us.  We are better today because of Him.  Keep up the good
work K-Love.  I wish I could everyone I know to
listen to you.
1/8/2010 5:53:24 AM
HOPE United States
HOPE
Will Im trying..an its hard..Iv dun so mush 2 her an her family that i dont no if ther really is a working out point..We have 2 kids an i hope it does..Would love 2 live with my juju..
i still have hope cuz with all that we have been threw shes still here. SO THANKS K-LOVE 4 THIS
1/8/2010 6:07:17 AM
anna United States
anna
Good Morning this Love Dare has been just a Blessing for me and my husband! I am doing it by myself my husband doesn't know that I am doing it so he has been trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I was looking forward to todays dare, it is Our 5th wedding anniversary and I knew that the dare was just perfect for today! Thank You again for what you do yall are a Blessing. My mornings start by reading the Encouraging words.
1/8/2010 6:19:41 AM
Rosa United States
Rosa
A MUST READ POSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU GOD, THANK YOU JESUS, THANK YOU TO MY KLOVE FAMILY!!! When I first started this challenge I posted a comment and in it I said that I hope my husband and I can become a testimony after all this is said and done, since we we're having BIG problems. So big he was ready to file for a divorce.  I asked for everybodys prayers and I prayed and I prayed.  Guess what!  My prayers are getting answered.  Yesterday unfortunately I felt like the devil was trying to get to me. First my mouse didn't work on my computer all of the sudden as I was reading everyones postings.  I was so frustrated I began looking for another mouse.  While looking for another mouse I stumbled upon my book I couldn't find.  Coincident.  No.  I just beat the devil.  Nothing was going to keep me from day 2.  When I woke up for day 2  I resolved that problem and just got another mouse from my childrens room.
Then Oh my goodness my internet was down I couldn't get back on line all day and I wanted to so bad.  Again the devil trying to get to me, but, this time I was much calmer I told the devil I can still read my next challenge out of the book and I read it.  It was so good. I was up to the challenge.  I was already being kind to my husband. Although he didn't care.  My husbands attitude did not stop me from doing the right thing. Then after that since like I said my marriage was doomed I turned around and called the Chaplin and scheduled an appointment with him.  I called my husband left him a message that WE have an appointment at 1pm not knowing if he was going to join me.  I prayed that he would though.  The devil tried me again, trying to keep me from the word.  The Chaplin called to cancel.  I begged him not to so the Chaplin said ok 1:30. So I had to leave another message for my husband about the time change.  Low and behold... he was there!  Guys listen, this was the toughest appointment I've been to ever.  Having to listen to somethings I didn't want to hear from my husband.  He was dead set, he wanted a divorce.  I cried and I cried at the same time I turned to prayer while we were sitting in councling.  It was amazing. My husband had a sudden change of mind.  He really wasn't pressing too much for a divorce nor was he pressing to make it work.  He just started doing more thinking and we left the councling meeting with an unclear view of what we were going to do.  When he came home he told me "we can try to make this work if I'd like."  WOW...HOLY COW!  Once again "my man" the good ol'e Lord was looking down on me smiling.  Guys!!! Is this testimony or what?  If we just believe, it will happen! I LOVE my husband so much I would do anything to keep our marriage in tact.  Thank you everyone for so much support and prayer. For all the ones that are out there having difficulty in their marriage keep your head up and just believe.  It could happen to you to.  Keep us in your prayers as we go through councling.  It's going to be a long journey, but a very worthy one.
Day 3 has already began for me and I am off to a great start!  I will keep everyone posted on our councling.  GOD BLESS!
1/8/2010 6:28:17 AM
julie United States
julie
Thank you.  What a good way to start off the morning, not only in your marriage with with your co-workers.  
1/8/2010 6:33:41 AM
Marilyn United States
Marilyn
Good Morning,
I decide to take the love dare to strength my marriage, my husband does not know am doing the love dare. Okay I was thinking for day two what can I do for him unexpected that he will notice. After thinking about it I decided to make him his favorite dessert Flan. Let me tell you I almost gave up and told him about the love dare, I started the Flan by turning on the oven what I forgot to do was remove the pan with oil that I keep in there out, So that tells you what happen next the fire detector went off the house was full of smoke and the oven was full of oil (hot oil), I went crazy and as I was losing it my husband gets home from work. Well to make a very long story short, as I was telling my husband what happen without telling him about the dare, he tells me don’t worry about it I will clean the Oven, you just relax. That was the first time my husband cleaned my kitchen mess for me in 13 years of marriage. I felt so special, he does Care about me is what I thought. Thanks for the Love Dare. Today am going to buy him Flowers and a card I will put it on his dresser.
1/8/2010 6:37:30 AM
Rebecca United States
Rebecca
Yesterday went beautifully!  Thank God!  My husband was very appreciative of everything I did and really took notice.  

Today might be a little bit difficult as my husband's love language is definitely not Gifts, but I think he will appreciate it anyway.

Lord,
Thank you for all of the blessings you have poured upon me.  I thank you for them all because I know that I don't deserve even one.  Please continue to give us all strength as we work diligently on building/rebuilding our marriages.  Amen!
1/8/2010 6:38:56 AM
Heather United States
Heather
I listen to K-Love everyday at work, I love listening to Eric and Lisa every morning. I am doing the love dare challenge but my situation is a little different. I have been in a relationship for about 7 years, I would love to get married but he doesn't believe in marriage. So I decided to do the love dare with you guys and also pray that God would work in both are hearts to show us what God wants for our lives. I was brought up in a Christian Home so I know that living together is wrong, I am very torn. So please pray for me that I will make the right decision for my family.
1/8/2010 6:49:15 AM
Norma United States
Norma
Starting this really helped us this morning.  I made the bed for him again then when I went to leave for work, I noticed he didn't set the trash out.  I admit I was really frustrated as I drug that beast of a can to through the snow to the curb, then I remembered the love dare and Ephesians 4: 29-32 and I put away the anger and kicked the snow off my boots and sent my husband a text that said "I love you" I'm in a great mood and I didn't take a bite out of my husband!  I can't wait to go buy him a present on lunch!
1/8/2010 7:00:23 AM
Brittanie United States
Brittanie
Wow, I love this Love Dare!!  I'm currently in my third trimester and find myself exhausted a lot.  The past week my dear husband has been down in his back so he hasn't been able to do much more than keep the couch warm.  We've almost been married two years and this is the first time i've seen him down for the count.  It has opened my eyes to how much he really helps around the house.  

I have been listening to the Love Dare in the mornings and have followed the first two and look forward to today's dare.  Let me say it has already helped me save myself from hurting my husband i'm sure.  My selfish thoughts began to take over one night while I was cooking dinner thinking why doesn't he just get up do a few things to help out and then go relax again.  I've been very fortunate in not having any back pains so I really have no idea what he is going through.  But there I was feeling sorry for myself for a few minutes and trying to use the excuse of being pregnant.  I've had a great pregnancy and I'm not sick so I just need to thank God for that and be thankful for my husband in all that he does.  So what if I had to step it up a bit when most people tell me to slow it down.  I'm going to be fine and I'm really glad I had the Love Dare on my mind when I wanted to say something crabby to my husband I was able to hold back.  Only to realize it wasn't that big of a deal.  

Thank you LOVE DARE!  (& KLOVE)    
1/8/2010 7:02:24 AM
Brittanie United States
Brittanie
By the way...I plan to get a heating pad for my husband!!  (maybe it will help his back)  
1/8/2010 7:17:08 AM
Alexis United States
Alexis
LeAnn, I am a recovering alcoholic and as I am doing the love dare with my mate, I am also doing it for myself. It's really empowering. Thanks for sharing.
1/8/2010 7:17:59 AM
Rebecca United States
Rebecca
Day 2 went beautifully and I was even able to use it today too and my hubby noticed it.  I think the best part is that I have gone into this NOT expecting a reaction or recognition for it, but it's happening anyway!  Praise God!

Today's Dare might be a little less noticeable by my hubby (which is totally fine) because his love language is not Gifts.  I'm okay with that though because I'm just going to do something small but meaningful.  I just pray that God will soften my husband's heart to what I'm doing.
1/8/2010 7:20:47 AM
Shay United States
Shay
My husband said he needed more warm socks.  So, I simply picked up a package for him.  I actually bought them yesterday, without knowing today's challenge.  I did give them to him yesterday, but I may have to count it for today, since we have more snow coming down & I'm not sure we will drive the 20 miles to town today.
1/8/2010 7:21:14 AM
Donna United States
Donna
You know, on day one I realized I'm not just doing this for my spouse.  I find that I need to apply the same Love Dare to my 6 year old son.  I believe the Love Dare challenge will help me on the road to becoming the best wife and mother I can be.
1/8/2010 7:24:05 AM
Melissa United States
Melissa
This is what I journaled about yesterday's dare:

I caught myself several times about to make a negative comment to my husband. They were mostly at a time when we were joking around but I still want to build him up and make positive and encouraging comments. Today was one of the best days we’ve had together in a while, not that we really have very many bad days, this one was just exceptional. My act of kindness to him was to stop doing “stuff that needs to be done” and just be with him like he wanted me to. We spent good quality time together and had good conversation. What a difference this is making already.

Now just trying to figure out what kind of little gift I can give him =)

Thanks Lisa and Eric!!
1/8/2010 7:27:53 AM
Michelle from Louisiana United States
Michelle     from Louisiana
Good Morning this is so cool my family thinks i'm crazy,but they are doing it and and with the stress of fixing to lose everything my husband and I have not beening able to work we are in it has been peaseful since we have been doing the Love Dare and lisoning to the station on the computer and in the car if it wasnot for K Love i would lose my mind
1/8/2010 7:29:40 AM
Tommie Harms United States
Tommie Harms
Well i did not start out do the Love Dare but you hooked me by talking about it! My goal is to use it at home in my relationship with my  sweet hubby and to roll the same dare into my daily living with others, where it applies.
Thank you so much for the challenge to better myself for the Kingdom of Christ. I pray that I will fade away and Christ will be seen in my behavior toward my husband and others.

You are all very precious and you make me laugh, cry, and sing out loud through my day. I appreciate the difference you are making.
God's many blessings on each of you. Tommie H.
1/8/2010 7:31:27 AM
Re United States
Re
Good morning,my husband have been married for 2 short years and in that time i have contemplated divorce at least 4 times.   We are going through a really difficult period.  Our finances are troubling to say the least and it seems that since we've been married he lacks affection for me.   I am asking you guys to pray for me as i attempt to complete the love dare.   This is probably my last hope.   I don't want to divorce, but we dont agree on ANYTHING, accept JESUS.  I pray that this will be the glue that holds us together and will teach us how to love one another.
1/8/2010 7:35:39 AM
George United States
George
Last Saturday was our 17th annivesary. We are doing this love dare together. Our marriage has always been strong, as we keep Jesus as our focus. It will be awsome to see how much closer we can be to each other. I love you Darlin.
1/8/2010 7:36:48 AM
James Hardage United States
James Hardage
My wife and I have been married for 5 years. Because of the circumstances that ended our first marriages, I have made it a point from the beginning to put her needs, wants, and desires first. I bring her coffee and sometime breakfast in bed, open doors, etc. all the little things that show love.
These first three days are simple examples, yet I have a feeling that as the Dare progresses it will become a challenge and point out to me the things that I need to be better at.
Thanks so much for making this available to all of us.
1/8/2010 7:38:38 AM
Corinne North-Fuller United States
Corinne North-Fuller
God is just amazing let me say! I was in a store the other day, saw the book and I picked it up. My husband and I saw the movie on the opening night and loved it. My husband asked me who told me to get the book, I said God did, because I really felt that He did. Though I have only been married for about 2 years, it's easy to let the world take you away from that beautiful place that God brought you both to when you were first married.

I started it 3 days ago! I live in Sarasota, Florida and I went online to listen today because Matthew West was on my Facebook page telling me about an interview he was having on your channel this morning. Had God not brought me through all those little twists and turns this morning, I would never have known that there was support out there for me, that I was so looking for during this Love Dare Smile I am on the exact day, many states away and God led me there! Praise God!
1/8/2010 7:45:12 AM
candy medina United States
candy medina
our small group sis the Love Dare when the movie first came out and although it had been yrs. since my husband and i had ahd real major issues (which God brought us through)Wewe could relate so well to the couple in the movie I too had asked "when did I stop being enough?"and so because it had been so long we had found our way back to eachother and love and we were already doing a lot of what was asked in the love dare already,but without a word I to decieded to start doing it again with you and the rest of the K-Love listeners. although my husband thinks that I'm perfect and superwoman I'm praying  that this will help him see more of Christ in me and that our 3 Daughters will see what a Go lead woman ,wife and mother is suppose to look walk talk and act like.Plus what's 40 days when you love someone and pray for a life time of their love? which no matter how long ur married it never seems long enough. IT'S been 17yrs. for us and we're very very much in love and happy.
many many prayers for all who are doing this it will be hard but it will be rewarding too.
thanks so much for putting Jesus Christ front and Center of this station. Many say God to be PC and in general but you say Jesus Christ and that keeps me accountable, so thank you for keepin it real.
candida (candy) Medina listening on 94.3 in Chicago.il.
1/8/2010 8:05:24 AM
Kristina United States
Kristina
All I have to say is, whoa, what a kick in the pants! It's only day 3 and I am being to humbled by this dare process- especially today. What a blessing. Thank you K-LOVE!
1/8/2010 8:38:28 AM
Mitzi United States
Mitzi
I will celebrate my 24th wedding anniversary on Valentine's Day so this is so fitting.  I have been really having problems with my marriage.  For the last few months I've asked various friends at church to pray for me & my marriage.  My morning prayers would include a request that God love my husband through me because I just couldn't.  I believe what's happening in my marriage is the 'empty nest syndrome'... and it's really tough.  Tuesday morning I was really having a difficult time with my thoughts about my husband.  During my prayer time I was pleading desperately for God to help me in my marriage.  Then, getting in the car when the radio first came on it was Lisa talking about this new Love Dare... and when she said what the 1st day's 'dare' was... I about died... but, it caught my attention & I just lifted up a prayer that God help me fulfil that dare... so happens I had a meeting at church that evening... so, I was able to stay away from my husband most of the day... that's the only way I was able to keep from being 'negative' to him.  But, I made it and I felt so good to have completed that one... One other thing about being negative that God has brought to me is to not say anything negative ABOUT my spouse to anyone else either... that's a big one for me because I'm so quick to lament my woes to my friends and family... But, I'm going to do my best to complete all 40 days.  Last night, it wasn't so much that he recognized I've done anything different, but because I wasn't so busy being negative or turning away from him, he was able to bring some of his personal concerns to me... WOW... I was able to share my concerns in a loving and positive way... Today's dare will be a challenge in thinking of something to get him... but, I believe I'm up to that challenge... I mean come on, it's SHOPPING, right?  So far today God has brought the opportunity to share this Love Dare with a friend and my sister... hopefully it will help them as well.  Anyway, Thank you SO much KLOVE.
1/8/2010 8:49:04 AM
Jessica United States
Jessica
I wasn't much into paying attention to this Love Dare, just didn't think it was going to help. Then, I was driving and looked down while at a stop sign and saw my other half's writing on a paper that said, "Day 1-say nothing negative to your spouse," and next to it was Love Dare. I thought to myself, "O my, he's really doing it." You see, I have been with him for 12 years off and on. We have been divorced twice and married twice, and we live with each other but are not married again. I thought I can do this, too. Our relationship really could use this "Love Dare." We attend church and have gotten into Life Groups within the church. I am so glad that you all are doing this on K-Love, it's a good thing for people who are struggling, not just with marriage but with themselves, too. Thanks, again, K-Love for doing this and for the powerful music. I know today's dare is going to be a bit hard but am willing to do it, nonetheless.
1/8/2010 8:53:15 AM
yeny United States
yeny
WOW!!! day three here we go.... I am a middle school teacher and as I was checking out the comments yesterday morning, they wanted to know why all the mails from klove. I took about 5 minuntes and explained to them the cahllenge and today the first question they asked was What is today's challenge? pretty amazing. On a more personal note I'm not so sure how my partner is noticing the chanllenge, but I will keep with it. What a true blessing it is in my life and how important it is to know that I am not alone on this. I am printing some of the comments andf plan to do some personal notes as I read them. I know this my kind of journal a counselor suggested I started this year. Thank you  LORD for the many blessings....
Keep everyone in your prayers. May GOD BLESS.
1/8/2010 8:53:47 AM
Rebekah United States
Rebekah
Yesterday was a HUGE challenge and I lost focus after we had a fight. Frown Today I am ready to try again. We do not have much money, so instead of buying him something. I think I am going to write him a letter and tell him how thankful I am for him. Smile
1/8/2010 9:17:05 AM
Catherine United States
Catherine
Actually my husband making me something would show me he was thinking of me! He is a great man and I thank God for him everyday.
1/8/2010 9:29:30 AM
Jessica United States
Jessica
I decided to tell my husband about the love dare. We have a great relationship and I just wanted to be honest about it. In some ways I really wish I hadn't b/c I don't want him to think there is something wrong in our relationship...but I think this will be good and I really look forward to doing it everyday. =)

I pray that all the marriages that are going through hard times will be still and listen closely to what God has planned. Remember he wants good for you and your relationship. Anything bad is not of him.

Thank you for all your daily encouragement for all of us KLOVE!
1/8/2010 9:37:45 AM
Teresa Gaskins United States
Teresa Gaskins
I decided to do the Love Dare with KLove, without my husband knowing. It has already been a blessing to me. The first day was easy, my husband is so good to me. The second day, I had trouble thinking of something to do. After my shower last night it came to me, lay out his towel and supplies for his shower so they would be there when he came in from work. It did not go unnoticed, he told me how sweet the gesture was and he appreciated it. I'm looking forward to day 3, I'm thinking of his favorite candy, with a hand written love note. All I want is for us to be closer and our marriage to be stronger. I love him with all my hear. I praise God for bringing us together. Thank you KLove.
1/8/2010 11:12:28 AM
mariela United States
mariela
Yesterday I bought somenthing for him just because out of love!!!! Is working!!! yay!!
1/8/2010 12:02:55 PM
Stacy United States
Stacy
This is my second go around with the love dare.  The first time I did most of it, but got off track due to our child's health.  Money is tight so Day 3 is semi challenging.  Last time I went out and bought my husband a nice fluffy pillow.  With working 2 jobs and being a students there wasn't much I could buy him that he would have time to enjoy.  I didn't tell him last time that I was doing it, he responded well, even though my efforts weren't 100%.  My hope is to give it my all this time, he deserves it!
1/8/2010 12:35:39 PM
Yolanda United States
Yolanda
LEANN!!! LEANN!!! I do not know you Le Ann, but I am so proud of you for making the decision to dare to love yourself the way the God loves you! The bravery here is amazing! God, please let us all succeed in this challenge, show us daily that your Love wisdom surpasses all...in Jesus' name!
1/8/2010 12:57:19 PM
Nanette Baker United States
Nanette Baker
I am SO grateful for God's loving support as we enjoy this Love Dare!  After I read today's dare, I asked the Holy Spirit to show me what I could get my sweetheart that would honor him and immediately knew what to do.  It happened that my gift came from a trade show that just happened to be in town for today only!  God is SO amazing!
1/8/2010 12:58:27 PM
Sarah P United States
Sarah P
Leann (1/8/2010 4:31:55 AM)...congrats on conquering your eating disorder!  I am proud of you!  We will be praying for you!  
1/8/2010 1:05:45 PM
Sulema Canada
Sulema
Todays love dare was right on time, being in my second marraige I find it very hard at times and just want to run, but don't know where too.

I guess I am selfish and this has opened my eyes but it's hard.

Just too pesonal to publish.
In alot of ways this is helping me just need to read it in the morning before i get mad and go off on my husband again,
1/8/2010 2:07:06 PM
ANA United States
ANA
What a wonderful way to kick off 2010.  I've only been married 7 months, but I can already tell that this LOVE DARE is pointing out the rough patches in my life...  Already, I have learned so much about patience, not only for my husband, but also for my students.  I've seen a difference in our interactions.  Also, it's so much fun to see my husband excited by the acts of KINDNESS. God has perfect timing and this is indeed His time.  

Thanks for the challenge K-LOVE!!!!
1/8/2010 5:23:19 PM
no name United States
no name
i have been doing the love dare with you guys its been hard i have to say. Me and my husband have been married 8 1/2 years we were separted in 05 got back together and have had trouble this past year. I have been to the point that i want out of the marriage last time it was him. Im doing the love dare and hopeful it will change my heart. I just would like for everyone to pray for me and my family we have 2 small children.
1/8/2010 5:39:55 PM
LILLY United States
LILLY
SO AM WONDERING WHO HAS TO DO THE LOVE DARE? MY MARRIAGE IS REALLY BAD THAT WE EVEN TALK ONCE IN A WHILE ABOUT A DIVORCE, WE ARE NOT TOGETHER ANYMORE BUT WE ARE STILL MARRIED, MY QUESTION IS WHO HAS DO TO THE LOVE DARE ME? THAT AM STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM AND AM WILLING TO DO MY BEST TO GET HIM BACK OR HIM? THAT HE SAYS HE LOVES ME BUT HE IS NOT INLOVE WITH ME. SO AM WONDERING DO I HAVE TO DO THE LOVE DARE OR HIM? AM CONFUSED!!!!

1/8/2010 6:04:01 PM
Olga United States
Olga
Aloha Lisa & Eric,

I am so glad that I choose to take part in the love dare challenge. My marriage is ok, but I want it to be like how it was 13 years ago. Not only am I doing the love dare, I'm also doing the words of encouragement with my kids. Yesterdays love dare was to be kind and do something for someone, I wrote a note to everyone in my family telling them how much I love them, and how Jesus loves them too, I also used diferent encouring words on the letters to. Well yesterday when I got home from work my whole family thanked me for the letter, but my older son just made my whole day he told me thanks mom for the letter,I have it taped in my planner and when im having a bad day I look at it for encouragement & inspiration. GOD is awesome, Its only been 3 days since the love dare started and I already feel GOD working in my life. Mahalo Lisa & Eric!!!
1/8/2010 6:29:27 PM
Melissa United States
Melissa
I borrowed this book from my mom a few months ago and tried to start the love dare, but unfortunately I wasn't quite sure how to follow through with some of the dares. I was so excited to hear that KLove was doing the Love Dare. I began with you all. . . and things have gone good, unnoticed by husband ... but that's okay. My goal is to strengthen our marriage and to help me to get rid of my selfishness. Today was a little harder to do as our money is tight. . . but instead my husband wanted dessert made today . . . and homemade bread. So I baked these for him as my gift for him.
1/8/2010 6:38:25 PM
MarriedLady United States
MarriedLady
  My marriage is difficult, as my husband is involved in an inapropriate "friendship" with another women. She waits for the day we are divorced, and has had no problem advertising this. Please pray that she would not be granted the desire of her heart, as it would cause much pain to members of our family. I ask for your prayers as I embark in this Love Dare Challenge. As I was reading today, for the first day, I realized that there will be many opportunities to show the love of God to my husband and learn more about myself. I do not know what the future will bring, but until Feb. 14th I dare to attempt to love as Jesus loves me. Thanks KLOVE for Leading the Love Dare.
1/8/2010 7:18:15 PM
shelly townley United States
shelly townley
I am doing this, and we just had our 3rd kid in nov. and have a 1 year old and a 4 year old and this last week bought a house and I am still wanting to give my husband everything and to do this, cause I believe this is the most awesome thing.  Shelly
1/8/2010 7:27:28 PM
Faith United States
Faith
Honestly, I applaud everyone who is taking this challenge.  It is great.  It came on the right time for me.  My husband already moved out and he is filing for divorce so when I heard this on the radio I decided to do it because I know God is good and our GOD IS ABLE!  Day 1 and 2 I had to pray a lot and I worked a lot not to think negative or say anything negative about him.  K-Love pastors are also praying for me. And I really what to thank you for that.  I listen to K-Love all the time and it really lifts my spirit.  K-Love is the only place I turn to and get some positive message.  Day 3 today is a little difficult because he is not here with me.  Does anyone have an idea of what I should do since he moved out?

Again Lisa and Eric thank you for doing this I am surely go to complete my 40 days.  

To all - Please pray for our marriage so that it can be restored!

To Rosa-  I saw your post God is amazing I'm so glad your husband agreed to counseling.  Keep praising girl.  God is about to do some wonderful work in your life.  I tell you girl the devil is going to keep trying to stop you from this.  Just remember it is the devil and just ask the Lord Jesus Christ to get the devil for you!

All the best Rosa and I will pray for you and your husband you are doing the right thing!
1/8/2010 7:52:04 PM
heather United States
heather
This is the 2nd time i will have tried the love dare...my husband and i both tried it together last year for valentines day... We got done with about 12 days or so and then we just stopped. I tried to keep going for a couple more days but then stopped because I was upset my husband wouldn't try harder. This time i'm doing it on my own. I realize stopping just because my husband didn't want to do it anymore was silly. So good luck to everyone out there that is doing this. Pray for me and I will pray for you! together we can change the word marriage and what it means when we all say love and honor in sickness and in health for rich or poor as long as we both shall live.
1/8/2010 7:53:00 PM
Sherial United States
Sherial
I am doing this because I think this is truly awesome and I believe god works in wonderous ways. I love my husband and i think he deserves all that I can give. He is my heart and soul for 15 years now and I love him. Sherial
1/8/2010 8:22:02 PM
Nameless United States
Nameless
Well today I am struggling as my husband isn't talking to me. Not sure why but this really bothers me. He has a lot going on at work and I think thats it but this has been a problem in the past with our marriage and I don't know what to do.  Please pray!  I really want a healthy marriage.  Lord help me today to love how you want me to love.
1/8/2010 8:42:40 PM
julia United States
julia
I don't see this as a dare but a better relationship with may husband.  my husband and I have been married for 18 years.  5 years ago I confessed with my mouth and believed it in my heart that Jesus is my Lord and Savior.  I fianlly admitted that to my husband I married him for the wrong reasons.  I came from a very abusive family and he was my ticket out.  But something else was missing.....this 40 day adventure.  I love how the lessons guide me, tell me what to do, and have scripture back them up.  My God is an Awesome God!
1/8/2010 8:43:08 PM
Irene United States
Irene
Well, DAY 2 - do something kind started off well. If there's one thing my husband hates the most is interrupting him in the middle of a discussion or debate. So, I decided that I would remain quiet and refrain from interruption until he's completely done. Trust me, not an easy task for me. It was one way of showing him not only respect, but a little kindness. I also texted him when he was away from home saying "I Love You"! DAY 3 - giving him a gift I've been thinking hard about and decided since he'll be gone the majority of the evening at band practice that I would write him a love letter and leave on his pillow tonight. I know I mentioned that I would share with my husband this challenge, but changed my mind and decided to take this challenge on my own hoping that my husband will notice or see a difference in me. Keeping my fingers crossed, praising our wonderful God and praying for my marriage to continue to grow. To everyone taking this challenge - some days may be easier then others, but together with each others support and God we can do this! God Bless!
1/8/2010 8:43:43 PM
deborah United States
deborah
This is an answer to my prayer. My marriage is in trouble and I have been praying for something that I can do. I listen to K love everyday.I rented the move and I am up for the challange,
1/8/2010 8:50:52 PM
julia United States
julia
My husband and I have been married for 18 years.  I admit I married him for the wrong reasons.  I came from a very abusive family and my husband was my ticket out.  5 years ago I confessed with my mouth and believed it in my heart that Jesus is my Lord and Savior.  But I know with Jesus there is always room for improvement, I knew something was missing....and then along comes this dare.  I don't see this as a dare but a better way of having a loving relationship with my husband and having Jesus the foundtion of our marriage.  I love how the lessons guide me, tell me what to do, and have scripture to back it up.  My GOD is an Awesome GOD!
1/8/2010 8:51:10 PM
julia
julia
My husband and I have been married for 18 years.  I admit I married him for the wrong reasons.  I came from a very abusive family and my husband was my ticket out.  5 years ago I confessed with my mouth and believed it in my heart that Jesus is my Lord and Savior.  But I know with Jesus there is always room for improvement, I knew something was missing....and then along comes this dare.  I don't see this as a dare but a better way of having a loving relationship with my husband and having Jesus the foundtion of our marriage.  I love how the lessons guide me, tell me what to do, and have scripture to back it up.  My GOD is an Awesome GOD!
1/9/2010 4:20:23 AM
Rebecca United States
Rebecca
I just want to thank K-LOVE for posting this! I wanted to do it since I saw the movie, but my husband and I have a very tight budget so we couldn't afford to buy the book. We have been married 4 yrs and have a daughter who is almost 6 months old. Since she has been my major focus not him this is perfect to help me get focused on him again! Day 1 is going to be tough for me, I never realized how negative I can be w/o even thinking! Please pray that I can stop and think b4 I speak! I was bummed at 1st when I read to buy something, but I worked it out that I went to the store to get something we needed and got him a $1 pack of candy for him to have as he works overtime today. He doesn't know I'm doing this! I have a feeling he's going to know somethings up, bc I helped w/ laundry, ran an errand so he didn't have to, and got him candy, lol!
1/9/2010 5:04:39 AM
Tomi-Renee United States
Tomi-Renee
I am so excited that KLOVE is doing the Love Dare.  I've been wanting to do this ever since I saw the movie "Fireproof" a couple of years ago.  Also, a few months ago, I told a friend about the movie.  She and her husband watched it, and she wanted the book, as well; however, being mothers of young children and home budgets not affording it, we were unable to purchase the book.  Thank God for KLOVE!  God knows our every need, and there is no doubt in my mind that God has his hand in this.  Because of God working through KLOVE and the author of this book, many relationships may be saved!  Thank you KLOVE for listening when God directs you!
1/9/2010 6:46:56 AM
m United States
m
I started dare on second day. I rented movie for kids so he could watch UT - ALABAMA game uninterrupted. Got him his favorite snack and watched the game with enthusiasm - college football not my favorite thing. We have been married for almost 18 years and he told me last year that he no longer had any feelings for me at all. Divorce would be bad for his carreer so we will just stay married. At one time he agreed to work on relationship but then refused to do anything I suggested. Thanks for offering this dare. I appreciate the chance to share thoughts and feelings because I have noone I can talk to again because of his job noone can know. I felt so alone until I read some of the comments. May God bless this ministry and all marriages affected by the dare.
1/9/2010 7:42:04 AM
Faith United States
Faith
Lisa and Eric thank you for doing this!
1/9/2010 8:12:43 AM
lisamo United States
lisamo
Where is tissue love dare. Only shows yesterday
1/9/2010 8:13:37 AM
lisamo United States
lisamo
Where is todays love dare?
1/9/2010 8:30:13 AM
Barb United States
Barb
I caught day 2 of the Love Dare on KLove.  I went back and read day 1 on line.  Thank you for that.  Day 3 and the gift thing started to give me a problem because my day away from my husband is filled with work and no time to do a gift thing.  My husband picks me up from work and since I don't drive every where I could go to get that gift he would be there so what could I do?  Well we had to stop at Giant Eagle so I sent him for the milk while I shopped for a card.  Then as bad as the weather was, I asked him if he wanted to go to one of our favorite restaurants, I'd buy.  That worked.  Day 4 helps me to understand our ways of thinking are different.  I do believe that I think of "us" and he thinks of "the project at hand." Not that his thinking is wrong and mine right, it is just going to be different.  This is a great way to look at ourselves and our loved one differently.  
1/9/2010 9:51:31 AM
Lisa B United States
Lisa B
Alexis,
I can relate to your challenges. My husband has been in recovery for a year and half. We have done well and it's amazing how God has carried his healing in our relationship. I wanted to go into counseling after he was established in his program but it has not been a priority or interest for him. I have decided to take on the love dare knowing that I can still change my attitudes.  My husband is not spritual. He believes in God but does not believe in prayer or the need to be in relationship with Him. I would love to be able to sit and pray with him or read the bible together etc. To be able to say our house truly worships God and that we are a three cord strand would be awesome. But this is between my husband and God. Everything happens in the right time and moment. My husband quit going to program after he got his year chip, but I have continued with my recovery. I had thought I would start working the steps this year but when the Love Dare was announced I felt God was telling me this was more important. I have worked hard on my recovery. It is time to work on my relationship with my husband. So I will take this challenge one day at a time and let go and let God do His work in it. One of my often said prayers  -- Create in me a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and uphold me with a free spirit. Psalm 51:10-12
I pray God continue to shower you with his Blessings and Grace, Alexis
1/9/2010 10:39:31 AM
selsa United States
selsa
was happy to do this in the morning and told myself i would go and buy him something during my lunch hour, well right before my lunch he called me and he was upset i kept my cool cause i knew i didnt want to argue especially me trying to do this for him so we hung up and i went on my way to buy him his little gift i must admit i was hesitant well after a couple of hours we talked again and i was happy on what i got for him but its like he was still mad and wanted to argue. i began to cry and told myself why even bother but later he called and apologized. I got home and gave him a card and some chocolate i bought him, he began to cry and said that he loved me. Im really happy i did this.
1/9/2010 10:52:18 AM
elijah ronin cory United States
elijah ronin cory
When I saw the game, at first I questioned the injury, but when I saw his post game interview about standing on the rock, I wanted to know more. His testimony about Christ and God inspired me and taught me more about being a warrior and servant for God in all things and to accept God's plan as He always sees all sides of everything and we must trust in Him and believe Jesus died for us so that we might live in his ways.  I salute you Colt and may God keep you in His amazing hand. Your friend, Elijah Ronin Cory
1/9/2010 5:38:18 PM
no name United States
no name
I was excited about challenge love dare my husband and, I been married 22 years we have had our ups and downs.we both need respect for each other work out our problems instead blaming each other.so this will be challenge for me. with god help we will do it.
1/10/2010 10:06:18 AM
Michael Perrin United States
Michael Perrin
My wife & I are currently separated due to my inability recognizing / believing how severe our problems were. I never dreamed she would leave again as she did 3 years ago yet I began falling back into old habits. Basically I became too selfish for my own good w/o thinking of her & my family. This selfishness encompasses a plethora of different subjects as even (1) subject is too much in God's eye. Without realizing I was attempting changing her methods of doing things forgetting the many wonderful traits she possesses which attracted me to her. Well God removed the one thing I loved more than life but He does have my attention as I definitely was not treating her as my wife. I just hope & pray she will forgiveme.
Upon hearing of the " Love Dare " challenge I knew it was to be my arduous task. Yet no matter how difficult it will be she is definitely worth every effort I can muster strength to forge ahead. I bought a book for myself & then decided to buy her one too. I hope she doesn't interpret my gift incorrectly as I desire for us to continue using this book along with God's word which I have been neglecting.    
1/10/2010 11:32:06 PM
Janae United States
Janae
After being married three times, it is hard for me to believe that LOVE can exist between a man and a women... I can understand the LOVE of our Lord, as He has become the BrideGroom of my Heart.
Though my last partner was arrested for domestic violence, it continues to be a struggle to pray and have LOVE for somebody that became the Enemy.  
I sent him the Love Dare anonymously with HOPE that God can do great works... If it wasn't meant to be applied for our relationship, then perhaps it will be EXACTLY what he needs for his future relationship.
More importantly, I am finding that I need to apply the Love Dare toward myself. Please keep the Dare ALIVE!
1/17/2010 8:14:44 AM
Jonique United States
Jonique
For this dare, I went to Sonic and picked up some Cheddar Peppers for my husband. I took them to his work, so that he would have a snack before getting home for dinner.

I regrettably am a very selfish person. It took me a long time to be able to admit that to myself and out loud, but doing so has made it more real, forcing me to act on my awful behavior to make changes. (Even before the Love Dare.) I don't want to be selfish and have been making the changes necessary to be selfless.
1/30/2010 1:13:00 AM
Candice South Africa
Candice
He said "THANKS" - I didnt even ask, and he said "thanks".  I feel really happy!
2/4/2010 10:13:10 AM
online payday loans United States
online payday loans
There are three things that you should spend you time doing: Marketing, marketing, marketing.
2/13/2010 2:09:40 AM
colon cleaner United States
colon cleaner
One that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
2/14/2010 4:56:42 AM
no credit check payday loans United States
no credit check payday loans
Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.
2/18/2011 9:33:23 PM
trista Canada
trista
Wow. I have read today's challenge and I don't know what I can do. I read all the other posts, desperate for ideas. I am still blanking on this! I know God will direct me to what it is that will make a difference, just like he directed me to the Love Dare. Pray for me!
2/20/2011 7:53:05 AM
LaShay United States
LaShay
I am on day 4 and this just keeps getting harder each day. Today was a hard day to complete because I feel like he is just getting annoyed with me bothering him. I am frustrated but going to do each step until my 40 days are up.
3/14/2011 4:20:36 AM
Tina United States
Tina
This weekend was terrible i was on day 8 and basically gave up. But i quickly realized that is what Satan wants, so i resigned that i am going to go the long haul.  And if you can believe it things got completly worst.
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