Jan 26 2010

Love Dare - Day 21

Love is Satisfied in God


The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire. – Isaiah 58:11


Day 20 was a vitally important day in the Love Dare – and in your life.  You came face-to-face with the glaring need of every human heart.  And perhaps for the very first time, you became aware of how personal this need really is.  You may have realized that nothing in your toolbox of talents and resources could repair the damage that sin leaves, and that Jesus is the only One who can supply what you’ve been missing.  If you’ve received Him by faith and have turned your life over to Him to manage and lead, then His Holy Spirit is renewing your heart.  His wisdom, grace, and power can now be released into everything you do.  Including, not the least, your marriage.


But whether this is new territory for you or if you’ve been a follower of Jesus for quite a while, now is the time for you to firm up one thing in your mind: you need God every single day.  This is not a part-time proposition.  He alone can satisfy, even when all else fails you.


Your husband may be late coming home.  Again.  But God will always be right on time.


Your wife may let you down.  Again.  But God can always be trusted to deliver on His promises.


Every day you place expectations on your spouse.  Sometimes they meet them.  Sometimes they don’t.  But never will they be able to totally satisfy all the demands you ask of them – partly because some of your demands are unreasonable, partly because your mate is human.


God, however, is not.  And those who approach Him in utter dependence each day for the real needs in their life are the ones who find out just how dependable He is.


Can your spouse give you an inner peace?  No.  But God can.  “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).


Can your spouse enable you to be content no matter what life throws at you?  No.  But God can.  “In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled … I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:12-13).


There are needs in your life only God can fully satisfy.  Though your husband or wife is able to complete some of these requirements – at least now and then – only God is able to do it all.  Your need for love.  Your need for acceptance.  Your need for joy.  It’s time to stop expecting somebody or something to keep your functioning and fulfilled on a non-stop basis.  Only God can do that as you learn to depend on Him.  But He wants to do it His way.  “My God will supply all your need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).


The needs of love, peace, and adequacy are real.  No one is saying you shouldn’t have them.  But rather than plugging into things that are unstable at best and are subject to change – your health, your money, even the affections and best intentions of your mate – plug into God instead.  He’s the only One in your life that can never change.  His faithfulness, His truth, and His promises to His children will always remain. That’s why you need to seek Him every day.


Our only reason for not doing this is because we really don’t trust God to supply what we need.  And yet the Bible says, “Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).  When we are seeking Him first, loving Him first, making our relationship with Him top priority, He promises to supply us with what we really need – which, actually, is all it really takes to satisfy us.


Jesus once spoke to a woman at a Samaritan well, a woman who had tried getting her needs met through a string of failed relationships.  With both her life and water bucket empty, she had come to this place broken and hardened yet still desperately in need.  But in Christ she found what He called “living water” (John 4:10) – a supply that wasn’t just for quenching temporary thirst.  What He offered her was a drink of soul satisfaction that never quits giving and refreshing.  And that is what’s available to you each morning at sunrise and each night before bed, no matter who your spouse is what they’ve done to you.


God is your everyday supply.  Of everything you need.


Today’s Dare


Be intentional today about making time to pray and read your Bible.  Try reading a chapter out of Proverbs each day (there are thirty-one – a full month’s supply), or reading a chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John).  As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you.  This will add to your growth as you walk with Him.



You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing.  (Psalm 145:16)

Click here to buy a copy of The Love Dare book.  

Click here for a free online journal for the full 40 day challenge.


Material taken from The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, copyright © 2009 by B&H Publishing Group. Used by permission.   Unauthorized reproduction in any format is strictly prohibited by law.




Comments (22) -

1/26/2010 4:51:30 AM
Jenn Bingoooooooo United States
Jenn Bingoooooooo
I'm glad I stuck this out this far.

I see now that no matter how much I love my husband and want my marriage to work. I need GOD more.

At this point I am seeing that if my husband decides to complete our divorce process, either way I am going to be ok. He may leave me but God will never leave me.
1/26/2010 5:24:25 AM
Lela United States
I am where you are. My Husband is unsure of if he wants to proceed with the divorce or not. Its hard to be in this spot of not knowing, but know that God does know and God will deliver a peace to us no matter what our Spouse's choose. Pray to him to work on you, and always say a prayer for your Husband also. God is good.
1/26/2010 6:41:25 AM
Shel United States
I love coming closer to God. I know I will be OK with Him no matter what happens in my life. I will continue to pray for my husband's salvation, I want him to know this peace, to feel this love as I do. I want to walk with him hand and hand behind God for the rest of our lives. This is what I will continue to pray for. This is what I will continue to hope for. God wants my husband and I know He is using me as a vessel. I will not let Him down, either one of them. Please continue to pray for my husband and me. And my son who is also affected by all of this but hopefully will be blessed by it, as well.
1/26/2010 7:23:20 AM
Hope United States
I hear you all. My husband has asked that i think about what i want to split up.  It was devastating but I pray that my husband come close to God and that he sees the sanctity of our marriage and will want to be in our marriage.  I know that God is using me and that God has been working in my marriage. Even though all I see is darkness the Lord has great things in store for our marriage.  I am constantly praying for all marriages.
1/26/2010 7:29:18 AM
Robin United States
Lela and Jenn-I am in the same position you both are as well, not knowing day to day what or if my husband will follow through with divorce. It is a scary position to be in. I have been married for 26 years and work part time- not enough to support myself. Thankfully, I am starting to get a deep peace in my heart peace that  GOD is FULLY IN CONTROL and I will be alright as long as God is the center of my life.  I will be praying for both of you as we all go through this trial.
1/26/2010 8:11:42 AM
Missy United States
I have done the Love Dare before, but doing it again with K-Love... And I must say, this one hit me harder the second time around... You see, my One Word for this year is Contentment.  I have been struggling with this for years (not being truly satisfied... in my job, marriage, friendships, my appearance, everything).  Even though I know I am blessed, it seems like I still search for that next best thing to make (and keep) me happy and fulfilled.  I realize that I am forgetting to put God first above everything else.  Even when my husband and earthly things let me down, I am reminded that Jesus is only one who can truly satisfy my every need and desire.  And I am more aware of my husbands feelings as well, when I let him down.  Forgive me Lord, where I fail you and help me remember that in You is where I will find true peace.
1/26/2010 8:12:54 AM
Missy United States
I have done the Love Dare before, but doing it again with K-Love... And I must say, this one hit me harder the second time around... You see, my One Word for this year is Contentment.  I have been struggling with this for years (not being truly satisfied... in my job, marriage, friendships, my appearance, everything).  Even though I know I am blessed, it seems like I still search for that next best thing to make (and keep) me happy and fulfilled.  I realize that I am forgetting to put God first above everything else.  Even when my husband and earthly things let me down, I am reminded that Jesus is only one who can truly satisfy my every need and desire.  And I am more aware of my husbands feelings as well, when I let him down.  Forgive me Lord, where I fail you and help me remember that in You is where I will find true peace.
1/26/2010 8:52:42 AM
julia United States
AMEN to todays dare--Look to GOD for your voids to be filled--for HE will provide
1/26/2010 9:24:26 AM
Kay United States
The love dare is truly blessing my marriage.  My husband filed for divorce in Oct. of 2009. In
December he came back wanting to try to work things out.  We started the Love Dare with KLove and voluntarily dismissed the divorce papers which were to be finalized on January 5th.  Our 1 year anniversary was on January 2nd.  By the grace of God he is restoring and making our marriage even stronger than ever before. Never give up praying for situations you have no control over.  God knows the desires of out heart and I am very thankful for a godly husband that was willing to take the dare and give our marriage a second chance.  GOD IS GOOD!!!
1/26/2010 9:53:50 AM
Megan United States
I have done The Love Dare before too. I felt at the time that it was working. But I am stuck in a place that is going to go to an extreme, either we split indefinently, or we become the couple that everyone dreams they could be. Strangly, we are dangerously close to both. My husband refuses to leave me, but at the same time, refuses to do anything about the issues at hand. I feel like I am doing all that I can. Im not sure what my next move should be. I don't want to leave him, but I feel like that 'if' there is a light at the end, it won't be coming for a while. Im sorry but I cant be so unsure, and so unhappy for so long. We love each other, but is that ennough? Because it seems like that is all that is left, our fleeting love for one another.
1/26/2010 10:42:59 AM
Kelley United States
What a blessing we all have each other here.  I am in the same boat as many other women.  Praying for healing for my marriage/husband's heart against heavy odds.  I will pray for all of you to find healing in your relationships as I am praying for mine. You are all correct, we will be fine on the other side no matter what happens with the grace of God!
1/26/2010 11:00:20 AM
Carole United States
Megan -
I understand your anxiousness and your pain. I've sat crying on my closet floor begging for God's help and asking Him why I'm going through what I am with my husband and I can tell you this: God has a plan and you need to stay strong and wait upon Him.  God will not let you down!  You see, I know that I can endure the tears if they lead me to where God wants me.  Each day He brings me closer.  My husband has learned so much over the past 5 years and so have I.  I am learning how to truly love him and that means through ALL circumstances.  I pray for him every day and pray that God will strengthen our love and guide us.  Your husband needs you to be strong in your love and God will take care of the rest.  Hold on and pray hard.  Don't stop believing God will bring you where you need to be even if you have to stumble along the way.
1/26/2010 11:09:16 AM
Susie Thomas United States
Susie Thomas
As I read the post from above my heart goes out to each and everyone doing the love dare!!!!  I have been divorced and now am happily remarried and my husband and I have been happily married for almost 9 years and we are doing the love dare together and it has been great and so easy.  The past couple of "dares" have really opened my eyes to that God is truly the reason for our accomplishments our happiness our love our EVERYTHING!!!  I pray the love dare will help the strong relationships and the not so strong ones may they grow and see God truly has a plan and wants them happy but most of all wants them to seek him no matter what!!!!  
1/26/2010 11:11:18 AM
Susie Thomas United States
Susie Thomas
One of my favorite sayings is Good without GOD is  "0" (zero)  No matter how good your relationship with your spouse with out God it is "0" zero.....
1/26/2010 11:11:37 AM
Christina United States
My relationship with my husband was good although it was getting a little "stale", so I decided to do the Love Dare to strengthen our marriage. My husband is not aware I'm even participating and I didn't notice too much of a difference at first, but then after about a couple of weeks things were starting to change in both myself and my husband.  At times, I have even thought to myself, is he doing the Love Dare and not telling me?  It's the little things that I've noticed that are making a difference.  I have been getting up earlier to make him breakfast to take with him to work or calling him during the day just to say hello. Just the other day, he returned my favors with helping me clean up the kitchen after dinner and surprising me at the office with flowers and taking me out to lunch!  That hasn't happened in...well, I can't remember when.  I am so glad I took on the challenge...This May it will be our 10 year wedding anniversary and this is the first year (of hopefully many more to come) where I can honestly say I feel like a newly wed again!  
1/26/2010 11:25:33 AM
Reggie United States
I pray for all doin the love dare. The other nite a lady friend of mine called and was telling me about all the wrong her husband does. She said she can ask him about his day and he tells in 4 or 5 words how it went,ask how he feels about stuff and he don't say much. She said the other day they had a quarrel (had bad words) then the next day he apologize to her. What she said to him after, really throw me. She wanted to no if he really ment it and if he did just what was he sorry for.
Now im not speaking for all guys, just ME and i told her how i was wit my girlfriend. I too tell her in 4 or 5 words how my day went. (I don't store my brain wit stuff that I don't think is necessary or that i can't fix) and she said but u lisnen to me he doesn't,now this was hard for me to say cause im really tryin to lisen to people more. i said not really i hear bits and pieces i tune u out when u talk on and on like he does. im not a big talker thats why I think women should have girlfriends for. The feeling thing im not good wit(I try) the only 1 i no is anger. The quarrel they had and him saying he was sorry,to me took alot for him to do. Wit me i'll think about it and if i'm wrong i'll say i am,but im not goin to remember the whole argument. My brain just don't store that stuff.
Sometimes no alot of time ive thought about gettin a recorder to tape them so i can go back,cause it seems that all the women ive been around always remember them and bring them up over and over agin.
Anyways I ask her if there where anything in the world she could do to save her marriage would she? she said yes,so i told her about love dare. To try it and not tell him what she was doin. I sent her the 1st dare monday,and if she ask i'll send 39 more. God bless everyone  
1/26/2010 12:16:26 PM
Tomme United States
I find it strange that all of the comments here are from women. I am in a place similar to Megan, only I have made the choice to separate from my wife. I am trusting God to guide both of us. We both still love each other deeply, but she has not been able to stop her desire to continue to communicate with the man she had an affair with. On this journey, I choose to trust in God and what he has planned for me, and for us. As many of you have stated, whether this relationship is able to be reconciled or not, God will always be there, and brings great comfort and love.
1/26/2010 12:52:36 PM
Doris United States
Commenting on Reggie's note.  In my house I have a husband and a son.  We have the communication problem of which you spoke.  I really don't like to repeat myself and I don't like to nag.  If I could be heard the first time and if my problems were taken care of or at least sympathized with it would be great.  In this dare today I remind myself that God listens and that He fulfills my needs so that I don't need to get myself bent out of shape over a distracted husband or one that is too weary to really listen. P.S. Guide your friend to Jesus instead of you being her sounding board
1/26/2010 2:29:53 PM
Julie United States
I SO wish this Love Dare had been around while I was going through a divorce a few years ago, but I understand that no matter what happens, whether good or bad, ALL things work together to the good of them that love God and are called according to His purpose.  Praying for those in the midst of divorce and other struggles in their marriages.
1/26/2010 5:27:06 PM
Andrea United States
About two weeks ago, my husband of 25 years told me that he did not know if he wanted to be married to me anymore. I told him that I was sure we could work things out. He told me he didn't want to work things out. We have two teenage children. I have never felt so much grief, and have cried many tears everyday since. I have spent much time in prayer. Yesterday, I turned on K-LOVE, and the very first thing I heard was someone talking about this Love Dare link on the K=LOVE website. I read through comments of others who were going through the same struggles. This morning I surrendered my marriage to God. I have no idea what is in store for the future, but I know that I need to trust God for every detail.
1/26/2010 5:46:09 PM
booklady United States
I could watch the Fireproof movie over and over again, but at the risk of husband thinking I'm more nuts than usual, we have only seen it twice.  

I'm getting husband the Love Dare Devotions book for Valentine's Day.
1/27/2011 4:26:41 PM
spin24 United States
I've been living apart from my wife for a few weeks.  Our most recent discussion was about her needs, about her soul not being complete/compatible/too different, my imperfections, my sins, etc... Secondarily, while recognizing that she is not perfect as well.  Day 21 came in just the right time.  Maybe we'll have our next conversation talking about day 21.
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