Feb 22 2010

Love Language - Quality Time

What's your "love language"?  Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, joins us each day this week to give insight into one of the 5 love languages (quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, physical touch).  Today Gary shared what it means to have "quality time" as your love language:

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Make sure you listen each morning this week to learn a new "language".  

Plus, we'll be giving away copies of the 5 Love Languages and get you qualified to win an all expense paid trip to "The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted" marriage conference led Dr. Gary Chapman!

Comments (38) -

2/22/2010 6:09:04 AM
Heather United States
Heather
I just followed the link and learned my love language is gifts and that is right on. I guess that I want me husband to chose something from his heart that I can keep with me on a daily basis. It doesn't have to be expensive....he bought me a cross necklace one year for my birthday that is something I hold near and dear to my heart. I can't wait to have my husband do this and see what his is so I can do more for his love language. I tend to buy him things which is definitely my love language. Thank you for all you do in the name of marriage and love!
2/22/2010 6:38:44 AM
Sherri Opperman United States
Sherri Opperman
Looking forward to hearing about Gary's book. We have read it and enjoyed it. Very interesting to find out what each of our languages are and learn to speak that now. Never can learn enough about love with our spouses and others.

Thank you KLOVE.
2/22/2010 7:39:30 AM
Rebecca United States
Rebecca
My husband and I read this book a long time ago. I used to think it was words of affirmation. I've since learned that it is quality time. Smile His is physical touch. He loves hugs and such.
2/22/2010 7:45:34 AM
Winnie United States
Winnie
I think one thing that spoke strongly to me about Dr. Chapman's book is that: we should not only know our own love language and have others love us the right way - but also (and more importantly) to learn and observe the love language patterns of the loved ones in our lives and learn how to love them.
2/22/2010 7:51:36 AM
Marie United States
Marie
Absolutley great to bring this to our attention, I can apply this to everyone in my life, my children family, husband too. My oldest son who soon will be 16 when he talks with me he wants my undivided attention, to the point he wants you to look at him, he doesn't feel you are listening if you are multi-tasking and 'listening'. But that brings a good point, how well do we hear our loved ones if we aren't giving undivided attention because I have learned with 4 teenagers at home it isn't always what the 'say' but the clues they are giving.
2/22/2010 7:53:33 AM
sue United States
sue
great lesson on love,my husband and i were talking to a teen girl after church yesterday and she was sad ,she told us all shes ever wanted was to hear her mom tell her she loves her ,her mom saya you should know that  i dont have to tell you . this teen ager is so  wantting to hear this   and cant understand why. we are encouarging her to share this all the time with her mom .maybe some day she will be able to say i love you daughter.so pray for this  young lady  who is lonnging these words from her mom. any suggestions ?thank you  sue
2/22/2010 7:56:19 AM
Tommie Harms United States
Tommie Harms
My love language is Quality Time and that is so right on. Many of my numbers were close!
2/22/2010 7:56:50 AM
Robin United States
Robin
My husband and I received this book as a wedding gift, and we read it together.  This was the best wedding gift we could of received.  It is a tool that we use everyday.
2/22/2010 8:07:45 AM
Linda United States
Linda
I just finished reading Dr. Chapman's book a couple of weeks ago and I was thrilled to hear him on the radio this morning.  But I'm a little concerned.  All of the love languages are important to me. I took the personal profile and even then I was having a hard time choosing one statement out of two.

I wonder what he has to say about that?

I guess Im asking for the perfect husband who would give me words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service AND physical touch.

Is there a better way to see this?
2/22/2010 8:22:17 AM
Linda United States
Linda
I just finished reading Dr. Chapman's book a couple of weeks ago and I was thrilled to hear him on the radio this morning.  But I'm a little concerned.  All of the love languages are important to me. I took the personal profile and even then I was having a hard time choosing one statement out of two.

I wonder what he has to say about that?

I guess Im asking for the perfect husband who would give me words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service AND physical touch.

Is there a better way to see this?
2/22/2010 8:36:53 AM
judy United States
judy
i cant wait to read this book.
2/22/2010 9:16:13 AM
jim United States
jim
My wife and I listen to k love all the time. We teach marriage class's and this week we are teaching on the 5 love languages so it was really encouraging that GOD is using k love to encourage us and give us some interesting view points from the author Gary.

Thanks!
2/22/2010 9:48:46 AM
Veronica Durkop United States
Veronica Durkop
I read this book eight years ago when I was in Bible school and have valued its principles ever since. I appreciate the refresher course since I just got married this summer, making the information incredibly relevent.

I loved the caller's story who shared that her love language is physical touch and her husband's is acts of service. The caller made me smile when she pointed out that to make her husband feel loved she needed to clean toliets while all he had to do was give her a hug. Thanks for the laugh!
2/22/2010 10:41:34 AM
Krysta United States
Krysta
My hubby is Quality time, he's usually happy if I'm just in the room.  I'm a Touch, so it meshes really well.  We sit on the couch, I work on a project & he plays video games.  I usually have my foot or something on him & we're both happy Tong

Sometimes the best gift I can give him is time to himself Tong
2/22/2010 12:05:11 PM
Travis United States
Travis
Ok so me and my girlfriend have been reading this and we want to get the book, but we are both in college. I also want to propose to her but i seem to have trouble figuring out a way to do it and i think with the way we are learning how to express our love and finding out that her's is quality time, i wonder if somehow i can incorporate into that. I'm wondering if you at Klove could help me with this. My girlfriend has helped me refind the Lord and she means so much to me that i want this to be a perfect day. Any ideas would be much appreciated. Thanks again!

If you read this on the air do not list my name please, for obvious reason lol. Thanks Smile
2/22/2010 1:18:14 PM
Kim United States
Kim
My husband and I just took the Love Language quiz. My love languages are Physical Touch and Quality time - right on! My husband's are Physical Touch and Act of Service. I knew Acts of Service was going to be one but I had no idea Physical Touch was so important to my husband! I will definitely use this information starting right now to let my husband know just how much I love him. I'm going to give him a little smooch right now!! Smile
2/22/2010 4:29:02 PM
Deborah Geyer United States
Deborah Geyer
I'll never forget the moment I truly understood my husband's love language. I had read the book (and really appreciated it) and was pretty certain my husband's love language as "Acts of Service." I was fixing dinner one evening--not something I normally did because we had different schedules--and he came up to me, wrapped his arms around me, kissed the top of my head, and asked "What are you doing?" with such a note of satisfaction and contentment in his voice that I was astounded...it was...dinner...nothing even very fancy or special...dinner...and yet it filled more than his tummy, it filled his love tank. Since then I've tried to find ways to "fill his tank" ... even if it means literally filling his GAS TANK for him while he's on the golf course, just so it's something he doesn't have to do later. And what fun I have, thinking of ways to "serve" him, knowing that he'll feel loved. Funny how being able to do those things to show him how much I love him ends up making me feel so good! Win-Win all the way around!
2/22/2010 4:30:29 PM
Deborah Geyer United States
Deborah Geyer
to LINDA -- maybe you're bi-lingual when it comes to love languages ... !!
2/22/2010 8:52:03 PM
Michele United States
Michele
I just learned that my love language is physical touch.  That couldn't be anymore truer if someone had watched my life!  I love being held by my husband.  I love holding hands, and being close to him, and love it when he holds me.  This was awesome!
2/22/2010 10:11:40 PM
Caleb United States
Caleb
   I do not know if this is true or not but I have  noticed that men are more into the physical part of the marriage not the women.    I have heard that  women have a wonderfull time  in the first week of marriage but then start to feel like it is thier duty not because  just to love thier husbands.  Is women or men into more of the  physical part of the marrieage?  
2/23/2010 4:28:58 AM
toni United States
toni
to Linda - your husband will have it easier than most - he can't totally miss your love language if you speak all of them!
2/23/2010 6:12:14 AM
Daniel United States
Daniel
I know for me I am not more physical in my marriage. I love to have alot of communication and appreciate when I am thanked for doing certain things.
2/23/2010 7:58:55 AM
Frances United States
Frances
I read this book a few years ago. I didn't really focus on my own love language, but thorugh reading it was enlighted on why my husband felt so neglected. He is acts of service and I wasn't always the best at having everything in order and all my task completed. He is very OCD and I fly by the seat of my pants. I also found out through the book that the way I give love and the way I recieve it were not the same, I am a big gift giver. I love picking up a favorite candy, drink or just a note to say I love you taped on the mirror. I really don't care to recieve anything just let me know you noticed I worked hard all day or cooked your favorite meal. This book really opened my eyes and I have told everyone that they need to read it. Thank you for bringing this to the Morning Show!
2/23/2010 11:17:06 PM
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2/24/2010 7:44:22 AM
Gabrielle United States
Gabrielle
My husband and I had an argument this weekend.  And then you started the 5 Love Languages this week.  I wasn't able to hear all of the broadcasts, but I had read the book before.  I remembered then that my love language is primarily Words of Affirmation and secondarily Quality Time. And the whole argument can be traced back to the lack of those two things from my husband.  Unfortunately, I don't remember his love languages, so I'm going to try to have him take that quiz (and read the page on Quality Time--I think he needs to see the "undivided" part).
2/24/2010 7:46:31 AM
Gabrielle United States
Gabrielle
Caleb, I don't think that is true.  Women can very much enjoy the physical part of marriage.  Both people just have to make sure it doesn't become "duty" but an act of love and pleasure.
2/24/2010 7:47:50 AM
Gabrielle
Gabrielle
I have heard that  women have a wonderfull time  in the first week of marriage but then start to feel like it is thier duty not because  just to love thier husbands.  Is women or men into more of the  physical part in the marriage?

Caleb, I don't think that is true.  Women can very much enjoy the physical part of marriage.  Both people just have to make sure it doesn't become "duty" but an act of love and pleasure.
2/25/2010 4:34:50 AM
Freida Guttmann United States
Freida Guttmann
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2/26/2010 1:07:10 PM
Joanna United States
Joanna
I think your love language can change over the years too.  I read this book after marriage but before children and my love language was quality time and physical touch.  I redid the test this week and now it is acts of service.  So if you did this test some time ago you might want to retake and see if yours has changed.
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