Jul 11 2012

Why He May Not Be Proposing

What keeps him from proposing?

1. His parent's marriage didn't make it.

2. Focused on career.

3. Afraid of boredom.

4. Afraid he'll have to give up his dreams.

5. Can't afford the ring!

Is a ring necessary to propose?

 

 

 

 Do you think any of these are good reasons not to proposal? Do you have any other reasons why a guy would not propose? Tell us here or on Facebook.

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Comments (19) -

7/11/2012 4:45:00 AM
johnny United States
johnny
I proposed, she did not and still has not answered. I have no ring for her. kind of leaves a fellow lost.
7/11/2012 4:49:24 AM
EMAC United States
EMAC
If this is the person you feel God has put before you to marry then if a ring is available great but if not let them commit to each other with a covenant relationship adding the third person Jesus Christ. Ultimately God knows our hearts and as long as we are faithful to both our partner and God then will the marriage work. Eventually a ring will come. God can and has in my personal life given me a greater love for my spouse. I thought I was in love before but now wow I am in love for over 20 years. Amen and THANK YOU JESUS !
7/11/2012 5:07:55 AM
J Marie United States
J Marie
Yes, I think a ring is necessary because it shows commitment.  If he's not commited to bust his buns to purchase a ring (doesn't have to be extravegant), a solitar will do, how committed will he be to the marriage?  Weddings are fun, but once the honeymoon is over, so to speak, the real work begins.  A ring is a small obstacle compared to the challenges married couples face in a lifetime.
7/11/2012 5:08:42 AM
Mindy United States
Mindy
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 YEARS and still waiting for him to propose. I have watched him purchase major expense like dirt bikes and brand new cars but he said he has a ring for me on layaway. I believed for a longest time that God put us together for marriage but now I'm starting to wonder......
7/11/2012 5:43:40 AM
Cynthia United States
Cynthia
I did not get a ring until our 20th anniversary!!!  We will be married 39 years in August!!  No a ring does not matter if you love, cherish and want to be together.
7/11/2012 6:17:43 AM
Amanda United States
Amanda
I think that society has made a ring necessary. They've put this whole idea up of having to have these things. If you guys love each other and want to get married, but can't afford a ring, so what? Go for it! Get married. You don't need a ring for love, but guys, seriously, before you do that, talk to your girl. If you don't talk to her before you propose sans ring, she's likely to be surprised and surprised girls say strange things and that may be a bit painful, you know?

Or check out other customs. Some peoples do handmade bracelets or other charms. Things that are equally lasting. (A sheep probably isn't your best bet, though). Or ask her about what kind of ring she'd really like. I know tons of girls who secretly want garnets, amethyst, or other precious stones (that are way cheaper) but don't want to say anything to ruin any plans you may have made (or started paying on).
7/11/2012 6:33:56 AM
Ron Smith United States
Ron Smith
A long time ago an engagement was like a contract. sometimes they even had a written contract. the engagement ring was basically earnest, just like what Amy said, that it showed he was serious. When a person makes an offer on a house they are required to put down money, earnest money, to show they are serious about the offer.

Spiritually, we are the bride of Christ. What "engagement ring" did He give us? Ephesians 1:13-14 says, "And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory."

So the Holy Spirit is the "earnest" or engagement ring from Christ as his promise of our eventual marriage to Him as a church.
7/11/2012 7:04:43 AM
Regina United States
Regina
When my husband asked me to marry him 2 years ago He didn't have a ring to offer me and that didn't stand in the way of my saying yes and we are happily married 2 years later and still don't have rings. You do not need a ring to marry someone. God knows your hearts.
7/11/2012 7:51:38 AM
Korin United States
Korin
A ring is NOT necessary to propose, however something that signifies there has been a promise for a covenant to take place IS necessary. Plus if the woman wants a special ring - that would give him or them time to put money away for something nicer.
7/11/2012 8:19:09 AM
Maria United States
Maria
No a ring is not necessary. If God has created that woman for you she will accept a proposal without the ring. Its pretty much vanity & the t.v commercials don't make it any better. My husband & I have been married for 4 yrs now in fact when we got married we went to city hall. To me personally paying for a diamond ring so someone to yes does not justify their Love for you it seems materialistic to me.
7/11/2012 8:45:57 AM
Elise United States
Elise
Rings matter to some spouses and not to others. I think you should find out if she's the kind of girl that wants a ring. If yes, than it should be important to you that you get her one. The worth of the ring isn't that important to someone that wants to get married for the right reasons though!
7/11/2012 10:10:25 AM
Xiangfei United States
Xiangfei
I do not think that a ring is absolutely necessary for a proposal. Sometimes proposals can happen spontaneously when the perfect moment occurs without a ring. And some women do want to have a ring, but I do not believe that it has to be a diamond ring. A nice gemstone ring which is much cheaper can also work. But do make sure that you are ready for the commitment of marriage and all that it entails.
7/11/2012 10:14:41 AM
Sheila United States
Sheila
My husband proposed to me and couldn't afford an engagement ring. I think too much emphasis is placed on having the "perfect ring".  If your relationship is based on the need for "things", than what is it really based on. I had been divorced and knew that God would put the right man in my life when I was ready. The funny part is, I agreed to go on a blind date for the 4th time, having had 3 terrible experiences previuously, and did not expcet to fall in love! Now we're celebrating our 20th anniversary this fall. When God gives you the right person, you don't need the right ring, fancy wedding or anything else, but faith in God and sharing your faith as a family!
7/11/2012 11:15:18 AM
Ark Hillbilly United States
Ark Hillbilly
It took a while for me to get a ring before I asked my wife to marry me. I just didn't feel right without her having a ring on her finger. I am just thankful that the Lord allowed her to stay around long enough for me to afford one first. But that has been many years ago and thank God she is still putting  up with me. I am so Blessed!!!!
7/11/2012 12:33:36 PM
Jessica United States
Jessica
I've never thought of my future husband not proposing with a ring and, in all honesty, I can't imagine it either. It's what people think of when they hear "proposal;" a man on one knee with a ring box in his hand. I disagree with some comments that the ring in itself shows that he's committed (though it does express the symbol of their vow to love each other for the rest of their lives) but not having one because it's unaffordable would show me that maybe it's not the right time to get married. Maybe they would need to wait until they have solid jobs with a good paycheck. Not so they can be rich and own a big house, but so they can afford living when the going gets tough. It gives a sense that the man can take care of her. It definitely depends on the relationship.
7/11/2012 12:44:05 PM
Sara United States
Sara
My husband intentionally proposed without a ring because he wanted me to 'say yes' to him rather than to a piece of jewelry.  I loved it because it was unique, and I agree... I'm getting a husband, the ring is just a plus!  Also, we got to go ring shopping together. If we had gone beforehand I would've known to expect it soon... This way I was completely surprised!
7/11/2012 4:46:36 PM
stephanie United States
stephanie
No, a ring is just symbol of a promise made to eachother.. if they both feel it in their hearts they want to spend the rest of their lives together and are led by God then a ring is just a bonus. My fiance and I both felt in our hearts we were meant for eachother and brought together by God. He didnt have a ring at the time, but we still knew we were going to get married. so when he finally was able to get a ring it was just a symbol of our promise and love for eachother.  
7/11/2012 8:14:24 PM
Dawn Marie Benjamin United States
Dawn Marie Benjamin
Back when I got engaged 33 years ago...my husband asked me to marry him and then we went looking for the rings....he had always walked me over to look at the display cases at the jewelry store when we would go to the mall so that built excitement right there...and it took us 2-3 weeks to finally find the right ring for me...and too funny because I was with a girlfriend and then brought my hubby to be back with me.....and then we went and picked out my husband's....that way, the girl can be in on the picking out the ring too...my husband had different ideas than mine....he wanted a big thick band with my ring and I wanted a smaller band with small diamonds.  The bigger band would make my skin underneath get peeling  as I had had a ring like that years ago...just costume jewelry then.   My son and his girlfriend have been dating for almost 3 years and something always keeps coming up and then they can't afford it or they are doing other things....it is time to just make a decision and get engaged...the rest just follows....my daughter and son-in-law got married almost 5 years ago this next January and when they got engaged they had a ring and just said oh, they would wait a while...haha...within the next 2 weeks they started planning everything...the excitement just takes over...and they were married 5 1/2 months later...it is better to have short engagements I think also...keeps you focused and you get it done....Good Luck everyone.   And yes, it does take 3!!  A strand of 3 is not easily broken...it says in the Bible....It takes you and your spouse and GOD!!   Because believe me when you and your spouse are unraveling ...God is still there to hold you together...that is how we have made it for 33 years....also, date nights...so important...and some marriage classes along the way and books on marriage...you go through different stages in your life and then along come children and you can get lost in the shuffle...have to keep marriage number one!!!   Smile)
7/16/2012 7:46:51 PM
Amber United States
Amber
My boyfriend asked me to marry him two months ago. I honestly don't want a big wedding I would be happy with something really small. I believe that when you reach your 10, 20, 30 year anniversary that's really something to celebrate. That's when I believe you should have a grand celebration. I have explained this to him and I feel like he is finding any and everything in the book to wait to get married. I think he might be getting cold feet or something. He doesn't have a ring, or he is afraid I will regret having a small wedding, Or he wants to get some things worked out first... Should I be concerned???
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