Aug 17 2010

Divorce Prevention from Dr. Paul Meier

If you are married, you know that it can be a challenge to keep your marriage healthy. Today, Dr. Meier of the Meier Clinics addressed specific steps we can take to guard our marriages against divorce. Read Dr. Meier's tips here: http://www.meierclinics.com/. You can find the complete list, along with scripture references by clicking under "Now on the Air" on the right side of the Meier Clinics home page. 

Listen to Dr. Meier here: Segment 1 and Segment 2

Aug 10 2010

Dealing with "Empty Nest Syndrome"

Got kids heading to college? Dr. Paul Meier has some great tips for dealing with the transitiion parents face when their kids leave home.

EMPTY NEST SYNDROME

 

 

“Empty Nest Syndrome” refers to how parents feel whenever their last child who was living with them leaves for college or to out on his or her own. Either parent can feel lonely or depressed (or happy and relieved and proud of the child) when this happens, but the most common thing I have seen as a psychiatrist is the Moms getting somewhat lonely and depressed when the last child leaves and many Dads celebrating having more independence and freedom in the home and feeling pretty good about the child going off to a career or job and becoming more self-sufficient. So here are some pointers for parents who may experience any emotions when their last child leaves the home, making it an “empty nest.”

 

1.         Being a Mother is the only job in the world whose success is measured by how little a child needs you when he or she goes out on her own.

2.         Don’t tell your child all his life what to do—teach him his boundaries and teach him to figure out what to do in various situations. Ask him or her to think of options for solving a problem he asks you about until he thinks of the answer you probably would have told him to do and then say, “That sounds like a great idea. Why don’t you try it and see if it works.” If it does, he gains confidence. If it doesn’t, teach him that it is fine to guess wrong, and to learn from it and try plan B.

3.         When the last child leaves, be sure you, the parent, do not spend an hour a day on the phone with the child creating dependence and possibly even bulimia or some other psychiatric condition. The parent needs good friends her own age and the child needs good friends his or her own age as well to share feelings and fears with.

4.         When a mother Robin feeds her baby Robins until they reach a safe age to fly, she lovingly pushes them out of the nest and they learn to fly on the way down. A few get injured, but most learn to fly. It is a necessary thing to do for Robins and for humans.

5.         Any child who remains dependent on his parents is more likely to be unemployed, be on drugs, and have other problems that come from not taking responsibility.

6.         NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION—so when your child reaches a crisis, he is quite likely to think of a solution and grow from it. But pray for each of your children the rest of their lives, because LIFE IS DIFFICULT for all of us.

7.         The husband and wife who become empty nesters should plan on lots of fun things to do with each other that they were too busy or too broke to do earlier. Enjoy the good job you have done in raising your children, be proud of yourselves and of your child, and make it a time of celebration rather than a time of depression and loneliness.

Learn more about Meier Clinics here: http://www.meierclinics.com/

Listen to Dr. Meier here: Segment 1 and Segment 2

Aug 03 2010

Dr. Paul Meier on preparing kids to go back to school

It's that time again! The summer is ending and it's time to go back to school. Dr. Meier has some great tips for getting the kids ready to go back to school.

Here are his suggestions:

SUGGESTIONS FOR GOING BACK TO SCHOOL

 

1.         SHARE AND PRAY: Share how you feel about going back to school with God, a couple friends and your parents—both positive and negative feelings and hopes and concerns. A SHARED BURDEN IS HALF A BURDEN. Talking about your concerns decreases your anxiety about them by about half.

2.         FINANCES are tough for most families in this current economy, so just do the best you can with the resources available to you to have clothing and supplies as close to the norm of your particular school as possible, without being seductive or provocative.

3.         ENMESHMENT: Some parents are nice and mean well, but cripple their children by being overly enmeshed with them and their decisions. As much as is reasonably possible, encourage your children to make their own decisions, be independent, choose their own clothing (within boundaries of course), and develop their own close friends. Do NOT be your child’s best friend. Children who are overly dependent on a controlling parent have the most fear of going to school. Being a parent is the only job whose success is measured by your children no longer needing you to survive and make their own decisions.

4.         SOCIAL PHOBIA: You may have six children, five who are outgoing and one who is shy from birth on. Social phobia is often a genetic, inherited phenomenon, correctable within a week or within a few weeks by prescription medications from a child psychiatrist, such as Neurontin, for example, which is not addicting. Some types of social anxiety are curable with professional counseling alone, but other types require medication for an inherited chemical imbalance. 

5.         DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER, AND OTHER DEBILITATING PROBLEMS: Be sure your children get treated for these, or they will not be able to perform in school, socialize in school, and may even become suicidal. The teen suicide rate today is 300% higher than it was fifty years ago because of the breakdown of family and morals in our society, as well as other factors, including genetic factors. Your children (and yourselves) will recover from these with the right kind of help.

6.         BUILD A SUPPORT GROUP: We all need one or two friends who know all our secrets and accept us just the way we are.

7.         DEDICATE YOUR LIFE TO GOD: If you do, then you can be thankful for things that go right and grow from things that go “wrong.”

 

Paul Meier MD, MEIER CLINICS, www.meierclinics.org or 1-888-7-CLINIC.

 

You can listen to Dr. Meier here: Segment 1 and Segment 2