Funny "Mom phrases!"

I would just like to say that I am so greatful for my mother.  She is such a warrior she has been in the hospital since March 23, 2010 and we almost lost her 3 times but she keeps fighting and she is so strong in the Lord that I know he is the one keeping her going and I just want her to know that my sisters and I love her dearly and we are ready for her to come home.  I just hope that one day I will be like her a warrior.

There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.

My mom always says, "Work with alacrity!!!!!!!!!!!!!" if we are working slowly, it gets so annoying sometimes!! lol

Me: "Ewwww that [food product] looks nasty! I'm not eating that!"
Mom: "A blind man would be happy to see that! Eat it, it's good for you."

K-Love this has nothing to do with my mom but I am 13-years old and today my dad died. I just wanted to thank you for encouraging me and the songs I will rise and better than a hallujah came on and i cried! love you

Please pray for those of this who struggle with infertility this weekend. For those of us who don't know if we will ever have a child to call us Mommy, Mother's Day can seem like torture. I have given myself permission to not go to church on Mother's Day because all the kids performing and their parents looking on happily is just too hard.

Shut that door, your not raised in a barn!!

My mom always told us kids to "shut your mouth and eat".  So we did - boy what a mess.

When I was little and about to get a spanking, my mother would say, "This is going to hurt me a lot more than it will you." I would think, yeah, right, it is not your fanny that is going to be tanned. I never understood what she was talking about until I became a mother and spank my children. It is painful, as a parent, to have to discipline your child. I am blessed to have such a wonderful, Godly mother who loved me enough to correct me and keep me on the straight and narrow path. I think I turned out great. Hopefully, with continued prayer and rebuking my children in righteousness, they will turn out great, too!

Growing up my mom was so funny! All my memories of my childhood are of us laughing She made us "hand" burgers for dinner.(Before seatbelts were such a big deal)She would let me and my brother get in the back of our station wagon, at which point she would drive down curvy dirt roads. We rolled all over the back lauching histariclly!!! As we got older, ours was the house everyone hung out at. All our friends loved our mom, as do we

ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS MY MOM EVER SAID, WAS WHEN I WAS ABOUT 7 OR 8 AND MY OLDER SISTER AND I WERE ARGUING I'M SURE ABOUT SOMETHING AND SHE WAS TIRED OF LISTENING TO IT. SO SHE SAID" IF YOU TWO DON'T HUSH, I'M GONNA SLAP YOUR HEAD ALL THE WAY AROUND!!!" AND WE BOTH CRACKED UP LAUGHING AND OF COURSE THAT MADE HER EVEN ANGRIER. SHE HAS BEEN GONE ALMOST 3 YEARS AND I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT AND I MISS HER SO!!! I HAVE 4 CHILDREN MY SELF AND I AM BLESSED, BUT THERE WILL ALWAYS BE THAT VOID WITHOUT HER HERE. MY SISTER AND I STILL MOCK HER SOMETIMES SAYIN THAT AND WE TELL OUR KIDS THAT AS A JOKE!! WE MISS YOU MOM!!

When my mom and I get into silly little arguments and aren't actually mad at each other my mom will always say "I brought you into this world and i can take you out" my sister and I both know to quit arguing after that point

I graduated from high school in '73 and during all those hippie days & the loud music, I can remember my mom (prompted by my father) to "turn that music down"....... usually followed by "if you can call it music!"

I swore back then I would NEVER, NEVER tell my kids to turn their music down.

But ... sad to say - I do it!!  


unfortunately I do, but...BUT with good reason

they like rap (the nasty stuff) LOL

When I complained about being too hot, mom would say, "Open your mouth really wide, that will cool you off." at the time I thought it worked. Now I'm thinking she used it as a way to stop me from talking!

My mom would say that if we kept making that "face" ours would get stuck that way.  Hmmm

When my mom would tell me I couldn't go somewhere or do something my other friends were doing, I'd say, "but Sydney's mom is letting her go." She would always respond, "Good for sydney. But I'm not her mom. I'm yours."

My moms famous quote was "I hope you have kids that act just like you!!".  We call it the MOM CURSE in our house and guess what, it WORKS LOL.  Now that I have two kids of my own, ages 5 and 3, I am seeing it come true more and more LOL.  

My wonderful mom was always trying to keep up with the new "phrases and sayings" in my childhood.  At my 12th birthday "sleepover" party, my fabulous mother comes up behind me.....grabs my head and vigorously rubs her knuckles across my skull....she then says..."I'm giving you a NARLY!"  Being 12 and absolutely horrified....I explained to her that it was called a NOOGIE!  We love laughing about it now!  My mom's the greatest!!

I tell my boy to shut that door - you were not born in a barn... His reply - No momma I was born in the front seat of the car... He was - Guess I can't use that one any more.

I tell my boy to shut that door - you were not born in a barn... His reply - No momma I was born in the front seat of the car... He was - Guess I can't use that one any more.

I tell my boy to shut that door - you were not born in a barn... His reply - No momma I was born in the front seat of the car... He was - Guess I can't use that one any more.

When we had colds, Mom would put Vicks all over our chests, up our noses and have us eat some.  Now that I'm an adult and read labels, it clearly says not to ingest or use on mucus membranes! Wow!

Today I am remembering my mother who passed away from lung cancer on Dec 21, 2001. She was diagnosed 6 days before the World trade Center bombing I was about 30 minutes from there. When I got home on Sept 23 I took over her care and was the only one. When it came to my sister she did nothing, no visits nothing until 12 hrs before she died. I was blessed because weeks before she died she and I had it out but in the end all emotional wounds were heal there was forgiveness. After she died my sister and father did nother but put her down or said things that were inappropriate. I would say this do not let the sun go down reach out heal because once some one is gone hurts will never truly be healed I was truly blessed. Whether my mother was bad, good or indifferent I will never sau anything against her but will always honor the good things about her.

Scott and Kelli,
This isn't so much a line as a good story. Once when my borther and I had been driving my mom nuts she finally gave up on discipline and handed my brother and I each a belt and told us to beat each other. We both broke down in tears because as much as we' been fighting, we couldn't bear to hurt each other. Mom's lesson in love!

Oh, and my brother always got out of trouble when mom was going off on him and he interupted with, 'but mom, you smell good'. Made her stop and laugh every time. I love my mom!

I'll bet you've never heard or said "Because I'm the mother".

One thing my mom always said that made me mad and I said I'd never say...but of course I did..."I don't know how I've raised such a smart child, when I'm so stupid"!!!  LOL

When I was anticipating my wedding, I was surrounded by mother figures.  "You don't want that doughnut. You have a dress to fit into in three weeks," said Aunt Marilyn. My mother offered, "Would you like an ice cube?"

My Mom also used to tell my brother and I that, "I brought you into this world, I can take you out!"

Growing up a as little kid my younger brother and I loved our sweets as any child would. However, my mom wanted to put an end  to it. Therefore, she told my brother and I was the ice-cream man that made daily stops on our street was really the "music-man" and drove around all day playing  music for little children. We believed it for a longggg time until one day I saw him giving ice-cream to someone. I ran back to our house screaming "MOM, THE MUSIC MAN SELLS ICE CREAM TOO!" I felt like a genius.

My mom used a bunch of odd sayings as I was growing up. I'm 23 next month and she still uses them from time to time.

One was when my younger siblings and I would make funny faces (going crosseyed, etc.) and she'd come out and say "Keep it up and your faces will stay that way!" Used to scare us to death and we stopped the crazy faces.

Another one was when my brothers were becoming teenagers and would argue. She'd say things that she had picked up from her father when she was younger like "The way you're carrying on, you wouldn't believe fat meat is greasy." That was a real argument stopper there because it just sounds so absurd! :3

I'm going to spank you so hard your father will feel it...

My mom was a stay at home mom and believed in spare the rod.. spoil the child...
Dad worked a 10 hour job about 1 1/2 hours away from our home.

When we heard that phrase, we immediately stopped what we were doing wrong...

Today it cracks me up that we actually believed it.

My mother was one of those who said "put on clean underware in case you are in an accident." Last year I was riding a scooter with a grandson; we crashed and I got a concussion. As I came around and started realizing I was in an accident the first thing that came to my mind was - "did I put on clean underware?" I cannot even think of the last time I did not put on clean underware and yet that was one of my first thoughts!

As kids, we were always wishing for the next fun day.  "I wish it was summer vacation, I wish it was Christmas, I wish it was the school fair."

Mom always said, "Don't wish your life away.  The older you get, the faster it goes."

My mom always says- "I just scrubbed this floor, and I stepped in something sticky." AND "I just washed that shirt(or some type of clothing), you can't wear it again(the next day)." OR "I just cleaned this house and it looks like a pig sty."

My parents would say, "I do this because I love you."  They would then beat me for something my brother did, or they did, or whatever was wrong had to be my fault.  I never learned what love was or how it felt.  Mother never touched me but to hurt me.  But God is gracious and I love and am loved, I never did that to my children and I am the first person in multi generations and my 14 aunts and uncles and their mates not to abuse my children.  NEVER did I hit them, and they are great children.  I did it because I loved them.

It wasn't the funny thing my mother said, but what she did when she wanted housework done around the house on holidays... she would leave notes around the house.. examples : on bathroom mirror "clean me", on bedroom doors, "clean me, I'm dirty"(except hers of course), the vacuum cleaner.. "use me".. funny to remember and think about..

I would like to share with the woman who shared about the way she was brought up and the way that she brought up her children. I had to come to terms that my mother did the best that she could for her situation, and I did the best for my situation. Our parents (whether good or bad) were designed especially for us. Also, forgiveness not just for our mother, (parents) but to also forgive ourselves is a wonderful healing moment. I thank God every day for my mother, regardless of my childhood, after all, with out her, I would not be alive, or I would not be me.
Also, thanks to the woman who said the beautiful prayer to all the mothers hurting after the loss of children. I had lost two babies, the first son, just a little cry, and it was over, the second one 32 days old from SIDS after a long pregancy of living in the hospital. I have to be thankful because this world is hard, I know they are in heaven watching over us, and playing on a playground while Grandpa is playing on the guitar. Yes, my comfort that God gave me. 21 years is a lot longer than 32 precious days, I hope these words were comforting.
Ann
Oswego, NY

Everytime I leave clothes our or anything in my room my mom freaks out and tells me that if I dont keep my room clean I might end up on one of those "dirty house shows" or ect. One time she even walked into my sisters room and said it look like a terrorist came in there and set a bomb off because of how messy it was.

This isn't my mom, it's me, but it's pretty funny.  My husband is still laughing.

I was getting tired of hearing from my 3 year old about "how hard" it is to go to bed.  It's been his favorite thing to say for several weeks now when it's bed time.  "It's hard to go night-night, Mama!"  So in exasperation the other night, I replied: "You've gone to bed more than 1,000 times in your life so far, I think you can do it."

My mom was a Christian so she never cussed, so when she would get mad she would say, "Oh for crackin' ice!"... both my kids and I about laugh about this because we were all always close, so they heard it when they were growing up too!

I'm going to spank  you so hard your father is gonna feel it.

My mom used to say that everytime we misbehaived.
And we would immediately stop what we were doing wrong...
She was a stay at home mom and my father worked about 1 1/2 hours away from home.

Today, When I think about that, it makes me laugh so hard thinking that we actually believed it.

Oh my dad also got upset with me once when I was little and he said if I didnt stop he would knock me into the middle of next friday. Its funny now that I think about it.

Oh my dad also got upset with me once when I was little and he said if I didnt stop he would knock me into the middle of next friday. Its funny now that I think about it.

Oh man... my mom had several good sayings. One of my favorites was "Shut the door... you're letting all the "bought" air out!" When I became a teenager, (and I gave her the most gray hair, being the middle child) she would say, "You'd better cool your jets, young lady, because one of these days, you're going to have a daughter just like you." OUCH! And, it was true... I did have a daughter just like me, who is now a mom herself and proudly sports a key tag that says, "Oh DARN, I"ve become my mom!" My mother went to sleep in Jesus 3.5 years ago. I miss her the most when we are laughing, cooking or singing, because those were her 3 favorite things to do, after prayer. Love you Mom...I know you are asleep in Jesus, waiting to hear His sweet voice raise you from the grave! I am blest, and can hardly wait for that day. And to those of you who wish you were mamas, my heart aches for you. I believe that when we get to heaven, you'll get "first pick" of the babies "lost" by those who could not, for many reasons, make the choice to be a parent. Jesus holds you in His arms, and I hold you in prayer.

So I am not sure if this is the right place for this, but I want to tell everyone one what my mom is.  I have tried calling but i have yet to get through.  So here it goes, my mom is a warrior! She was my mother and my father for the first ten years of my life, my mom worke two jobs just to put a roof over our head, and even though my child hood was a rough one, she tought me that no matter how hard life gets, god will always be there to guide me.  Watching her go what she went through, and still be able to raise three kids with a smile on her face, is simply amazing! Even if my mom doesnt win the contest, she wins hands down in my book, because she taught me not only how to deal with hard ships, but to overcome them by prayer and faith! I love you mom!

My mom used to know every time we were lying. One day as a little girl I asked her how. She said everytime you lie you get a mom dot on your forehead, and only moms can see it. So after that everytime I lied I covered up my forehead, which made it even more obvious!

My mom had an expression she would use when someone was complaining.  It may not be all that funny to anyone except her kids, but here goes.  When someone complained, she would say, "Life's short and full of troubles."  It was enough to make you take pause and think, "Yeah, life is short, maybe I shouldn't complain."  But then you'd think, "And it's full of troubles, so I have good reason to complain."  So finally, it would leave you wondering,"What in the world does that mean?" But by then you'd have forgotten what you were complaining about!  The funny thing is, within the last year, while doing devotions, I found that expression in the Bible!  Not those exact words, but when I read it I knew that had to be where the expression came from ( I don't remember the address, but I want to say it was in Ecclesiastes).  I immediately emailed my sister.  All these years, I don't think any of us knew it was scripture.  I wonder if Mom did?

When I would complain about not getting what I wanted my mom would say "just because I have checks in my checkbook doesn't mean I have money".

Whenever it was storming outside my mother took us into the kitchen and we all made fudge.  One stormy day my brother and I were standing by the big picture window and it bent 5 inches toward us.  Mom ran to the drape drawstring and pulled the drapes shut and rushed all four of us ages 5 to 12 into the kitchen to make fudge.  We finished right before all of the lights went out.
We lived in Portland, OR and it was October 12, 1962.  It was the Columbus Day Storm.  "The "storm" was actually three storms in quick succession. The first formed as a trough off the coast of Oregon on the 11th; it moved northward, and then northwestward, and began to taper off on the 12th. The second (and most destructive) storm formed from the remnants of Typhoon Freda, which moved northeastward from the Philippines, nearing the west coast early on the 12th." (excerpt from The Oregon Weather Book: A State of Extremes) To this day if it gets stormy outside I don't get frighten; I crave fudge.

I don't have kids, but I've used this on my husband~
  When told my mom I wanted something, she'd say:
There's a man in jail who wants out, but he's not getting that either!"  I know I'll use this too!

MY MOM IS A SWEETHEART, ONE DAY WHEN I WAS HAVING THE BLUES IN MY TEEN YEARS OVER A BOY LOL MY MOM TOLD ME "DON'T WORRY DEAR IT WILL JUST GET WORSE" WE LAUGHED SHE MEANT TO SAY "DON'T WORRY DEAR IT WILL GET BETTER AND CANNOT GET MUCH WORSE" BUT SHE COMBINED THE PHRASE TOGETHER IN HER MIND..  WE STILL LAUGH ABOUT THIS TODAY..  SHE HAS GIVEN HER HEART TO THE LORD AND ATTENDS CHURCH WITH ME..  I AM SO BLESSED TO HAVE HER..

hi my name is stephanie and I am 11 years old and I am a a picky eater so i dont eat pork so when she makes bolonga wih egg  she says" do you want to eat" and i say" no " and then she says "why" and then i say" because i dont eat bolonga" and then she says" well your full of bolonga" and she says that every time and i actually laugh for some reason but i guess all moms are funny...)

My mom always used to,"I brought you in this world I can take you out of it." " I can't wait till you have kids, so they will do to you what you did to me." " If you want fair get another world."
                                June Mann
                                Milo, ME

Here it is. "Mortals born of woman, are of few days and full of trouble." Job14:1

First I want to tell you how much I love K-Love.  I feel energized when I listen to your station.  I thank God that you are out there on the airways.  So, my mom.  She went to be with the Lord in 1999.  She was quite a character. She could not keep a secret though!  Even as a young child I knew my mom would let the beans spill if there was something going on that I wasn't suppose to know about.  When I was getting ready for my 9th birthday, I asked my parents for a horse.  Absolutely not, dad would say.  He would come up with all kinds of excuses why I shouldn't have a horse and I was pretty much convinced that I wouldn't be getting one.  However, on the day of my birthday, I got alone with my mom and asked her what I was getting.  Just by looking at her, I knew she was dying to tell me.  So I said, "Mom, please tell me what I'm getting for my birthday and she said, "oh I couldn't do that.  Daddy would not be happy with me if I told you.  I said, "Oh mom, can't you even give me a hint?  She said, "well, I guess I can do that.  She thought for a few seconds and with a big smile on her face she looked straight at me and said, "You need a saddle!"  Hey, I might have been just a kid, but it didn't take me long to figure that one out!  I went to school that day and told everyone I was getting a horse.  And sure enough, that day when I got off the school bus, my horse was saddled up and waiting for me.  I never told my dad till years later but we have always got a good laugh out of that and when mom was alive and we would have a gift for her, as expected she always wanted a hint.  So we told her, "You need a saddle!"

Im only 12 and whenever I burp loud  my mom says " Well hello princess"

When my mother was fed up with my sister and I bickering, she would stick her finger in our young faces and spit out "if you two don't stop there's gonna be war and I'm gonna win it!"  

I always took her at her word and shut my mouth.

I guess I just want to ask that we remember those listeners who have lost their Moms. My Mom died of cancer this year on March 13, and it is hard to prepare yourself to celebrate Mother's Day without your Mom. While I remember how amazing she was, and know she is with Christ now feeling no pain and worshipping Him face to face, it is these "anniversary" type days that are very hard for those who have lost loved ones..they stay in our hearts forever, but the pain of them not being here on a day like Mother's Day is very real. Maybe next year KLOVE could do a promotion "My Mom WAS" and money could go to their favorite ministry or charity...just an idea.

My Mom use to say that if God wanted you to have pierce ears you would have been born with pierced ears.

well i am almost fiveteen and teenagers tend to stress about things and like all people we sometimes just stress out instead of giving God our stress!But in the meantime i have a saying my mom likes to tell my sister and i Whenever we stress out about something:"Don't get your panties in a wad."she says! My sister and i always laugh!!

When my sister and I would argue when we were young my mother would tell us to kiss and say your sorry. I knew I had used the phrase too much when I over heard my three year old telling the dog to, " lick it and say your sorry" after the dog scratched her.

When my brother or I would forget something, my mother would say:  "Write it backwards on your forehead and look in the mirror."  LOL

My Mom's favorite thing to say when we were mad: "You can get GLAD in the same pants you got MAD in"

I'm twelve, and since my room is always messy my mom either says "It looks like a tornado went through here" or "Katie, don't be scared, but someone just broke into your room and trashed the place!" But, my dad usually says the second one.

My mom had her own version of the "starving children" quote.  When my first grade teacher complained that I wouldn't eat my peas, saying "there are starving children everywhere and she's wasting them", Mom replied, "and if Carla eats those peas, will it feed any of those starving children?"  See why I love my Mom!

Two of my favorites are the classic "don't make me come back there!" as we are traveling at 70 on the freeway... yeah right!

And "This is not a democracy, its a dictatorship. So hop to!" to our grumbles and dragging feet over chores. I hated it as a child but its so true!!!

I heard the Mom sense song on your station and even though I have heard it before I was laughing while driving back home. And I can tell you, the lines are the same no matter which language. My mother would say (shout mostly) those same things to my siblings and me in English and in our mother tongue of Malayalam. I tell you, I could hear her in my head.  

A few of my mother's were "What will the neighbors think? (Or what will the relatives think) You need to eat that, there are starving children in Africa, China, etc. Were you born in the barn?Always wear clean underwear, incase you get in an accident. (What difference would it make they would likely be bloody and dirty after an accident anyway. LOL,) Stop crying or I'll give you a reason to cry. Do you think money grows on trees. But the one I love most my Mom never said - "Shut your moth and eat your dinner. LOL And then there is one I used to tell my kids - "I don't care what _____ is doing I'm not her/his mother.

When I was about ten, my mama and I heard my dad's stepmom tell my aunt, who was about five and very dressed-up with her hair curled, to "Act pretty."  My mom & I laughed about it because we'd never heard it.  After awhile, my mama started saying it to me with a sweet smile when I was dressed up and going somewhere special.   I knew what she meant.  

omg~I am glad I'm not the only who talks to my children this way and I am not going crazy ;o)

I didn't understand until I was older, but my mom would always tell me when I failed to follow her instructions, "I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong"!

For  Christmas every year I would ask her what I was getting for Christmas and she would say " a sliver new nothing with a wooden handle"  at first I though it was going to be a great present But now that my Mom has passed on. I still use that saying to my niece and nephews  Love and miss you Mom!!!

Actually a our youth pastor at our church made this up but my mom uses it. "Whining is for weeners"

My mom hates being cold. On a nice spring day she tells us to put on a hat and scarf and a big puffy coat. We take about two and she uses everything, just to take it all off as soon as we get in the car! We each have about 5 coats of different warmth so it can be just right (although she usually tells us to pick the one size warmer, just to be safe) Out of all the phrases she says, we've condensed them into one. "I'm cold, put more clothes on"
And yet, in the house, the thermostat goes all the way down to 64 degrees. We say "I'm cold" she says back "well, put more clothes on!" 2 layers later, I tell her it's hard to do homework with gloves on.

LOL My mom is somewhat like that!!

I find that readers respond very well to posts that show your own weaknesses, failings and the gaps in your own knowledge rather than those posts where you come across as knowing everything there is to know on a topic. People are attracted to humility and are more likely to respond to it than a post written in a tone of someone who might harshly respond to their comments.