Jul 06 2010

You Might Be A Naracissist (Self Centered) if...

Our guest Dr. Paul Meier had some help on identifying narcissism, and what Christ calls us to. You can read Dr. Meier's book on narcissism here www.meierclincs.com


1. They think the world revolves around them

2. They demand excessive attention

3. They tend to be controlling

4. They are manipulative

5. They are selfish

6. They have little or no guilt for any sins

7. They think they’re always right, and if you disagree, you are wrong!

8. They punish you with sarcasm and other critical comments

9. They usually either grew up “spoiled” or abused—most often spoiled or the favorite child of one of the parents.

10. On the highway, they think they own the road

11. In a prayer meeting, they act spiritual and take up most of the sharing time and leave little for the remainder of the group

12. In any business arrangement, they deserve everything and you deserve nothing

13. They would “borrow” money or other things from you with no intent to return it

14. They would steal from you if they thought they could not get caught

15. They would say they love you in order to have sex, then ditch you with no guilt

Listen to Dr. Meier and Scott HERE

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Comments (12) -

6/24/2010 7:02:28 PM
Doug United States
Did you say on the radio this was a free e-book?  I probably was mistaken. The place I looked wanted me to pay $9.95 to read the e-book.
6/24/2010 7:13:24 PM
Victoria United States
Is there a way someone could take the test to find out the degree of narcissism on the computer?
6/24/2010 7:37:29 PM
Paul Meier MD United States
Paul Meier MD
Hi to all of Scott and Kelli's listening family--There is a lot of information available on various topics at our clinic website, www.meierclinics.org, and a free monthly newsletter with articles in it and all, but the eBook was written by me and two other authors and is for sale on the clinic website. There is no lengthy "Narcissism test," but if you read the book, YOU MIGHT BE A NARCISSIST IF..., you will know whether someone is one or not by all the scores of traits discussed in the book. Since we are all sinners, we all have a few narcissistic tendencies, and all 3 authors confess some of our own tendencies that we have struggled with. But a NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER has no guilt--just fake guilt when caught doing something narcissistic. Narcissism has become rampant in our society in recent decades. 75% of adults interviewed walking through shopping malls admitted they would steal from others if they knew they would not get caught. 10% said they would kill a stranger for a million dollars when asked. No wonder the teen suicide rate is 300% higher now than 30 years ago. Loving and being loved by God, self and others--the GREAT COMMANDMENT--is the only thing that brings true happiness and meaning in life. The Bible is not talking here about a narcissistic self-love that takes advantage of others, but a love of who we are becoming in Christ. Thanks for listening daily to the Scott and Kelli Afternoons program.  Paul Meier MD, founder of the national chain of Meier Christian Counseling Clinics, 1-888-7-CLINIC or www.meierclinics.org.
6/24/2010 8:17:16 PM
K Johnson United States
K Johnson
great book!
6/24/2010 8:42:15 PM
Liz Budry United States
Liz Budry
What can I say about Dr. Paul Meiers? Have you ever had a son almost overdosed by people on a Psychiatric ward that didn't know what they were doing and your son almost died? If it were not for Dr. Meier's Clinic, as taught by Dr. Meiers, as how to cure this, my son would not be restored, alive, not a serious mental risk to his community and his family. In his book about Narcissism, you will find the root cause of mental illness as being only to think about one's self. This book gives the correct diagnosis and cure! I rate this book a 10, and everything and anything he writes as a 20. GO AND BUY ALL HIS STUFF IMMEDIATELY.

Liz Budry
6/25/2010 2:00:30 AM
Kim Cooper Australia
Kim Cooper
Great to see this being discussed as the moral issue that it is. Narcissism is truly much easier to see in others than it is to see in ourselves. It is also so important that we find the valor to stand up for ourselves when we find that we are being exploited as well as supporting those who cannot stand up for themselves.

Kim Cooper
Host of the Love Safety Net  
6/25/2010 3:51:57 AM
Barbara Field United States
Barbara Field
I bought this book and shared it with all my friends.  I also recommended it to the students I train as Drug and Alcohol Counselors.  This book is short and to the point so that it is easy to understand.  Anyone who wants to understand what a narcissist is and whether or not they are one will benefit from reading this book.
6/25/2010 11:45:37 AM
Leslie O'Neill United States
Leslie O'Neill
If you've ever had the experience of walking away from an interaction, (or years of interactions), with someone and wonder, "Am I crazy?", this book helps you realize: No, you are not. When you are finally able to name something that you know is there, especially when the other person is in denial, there is the tremendous relief of that "ah-ha" moment. But then what? You Might Be a Narcissist If... not only helps us name that elephant sitting in the living room, but also gives us some practical tools to help maneuver it out of OUR living room. I appreciate the real life situations described in the book and the understanding that sometimes the situation requires the ability to shift boundaries when it is not possible to totally extricate oneself from a relationship with a narcissistic personality. I enjoyed the author's personal revelations and reminder that we all exhibit these traits in varying degrees and times. Keeping the focus on OUR response to our own tendencies, and to those who are incapable of seeing the damage they cause, is freeing by the fact that I can change my response, even when I cannot change the situation or person.
6/26/2010 2:33:36 AM
Robin United States
I've read this book.  It was extremely helpful understanding the effect growing up with a narcissistic dad had on me.
6/28/2010 12:40:57 AM
Rhonda United States
My son has all the narcissistic traits but when I sent him an email through myspace or facebook he deleted me as a friend (am back on his list again though). That's one thing...they'll never admit they have a problem or get help because they are the ones who are right & everyone else in the world is wrong. He's not quite as bad as he used to be (we all quit coming to his rescue & he had no choice but stand on his own 2 feet). He'll be 22 this year and is slowly growing up.
7/8/2010 8:31:40 AM
Amber United States
Oh my gosh! I read this list and I realize that I was in a marriage with someone just like this. That gives me much to think about.
10/14/2010 9:42:48 PM
Lisa Charlebois United States
Lisa Charlebois
I am one of the authors of You Might Be a Narcissist If...   I believe that narcissistic defenses are caused from trauma to a person's growing sense of self when he or she is very young.  People with narcissistic injuries come to hate their own real selves.  They were usually emotionally neglected or smothered or massively controlled.  They come to fear attachment and they devalue in others what was devalued in them (emotional neediness, vulnerability, etc...) People with narcissism are not sociopaths.  There is so much misinformation on the internet.  Narcissists do not intentionally try to hurt anyone...  Instead, they accidentally hurt others and themselves because they massively fear allowing others to get too close to them for fear that others will find them to be inadequate.  Narcissists' parents don't teach them how to do things...  Instead, they just expect them "to know" how to grow into a healthy adult.  The growing child then internalizes a lot of shame for times when it is obvious that he or she doesn't know how to do something.  He or she then begins to build a safe world inside his or her head...a world wherein he or she will be adequate...even superior as to never be humiliated again.  Most narcissists are not evil.  They are only evil if they are a mix of a narcissist/antisocial (aka sociopath or psychopath).  I really want the confusion to be cleared up because narcissism in rampant because of people's insecurities and defense mechanisms from childhood and it's also part of our fallen nature to want to be brilliant and "right".  Any healthy person who reads our book will come to recognize their own narcissism and that is the very thing that is transformational about the book.  They buy it to help them deal with the narcissist in their life and most people say, "Hey, I have a lot of this myself so I can't just focus on the speck in their eye...We both need this book!"  
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