Aug 30 2010

What do guys need to know about women?

Ladies: what one thing do you want guys to know about women that they may not know?

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Comments (54) -

8/6/2010 9:36:07 PM
Cassie United States
For the young men out there, keep holding the door!  Keep being a gentleman!  We notice that!
8/7/2010 2:36:44 AM
Erica T United States
Erica T
Guys need to knw that women are very emotional and require or want and need a lot of attension .support and help from men. They are also very caring and will make ur world a very different one
8/7/2010 7:37:50 AM
Vanessa United States
we are very emotional. were not weak we just cry and it feels good to just let it out.

also, its hard for us to trust guys. not that there aren't good men out there in this world but, one thing can change a girl. maybe its a breakup between another. But that breakup will change the way girls look at basically we learn from our mistakes!
8/7/2010 7:38:39 AM
Erica T United States
Erica T
Also women are very fagile according to science, they are exposed to harm far way beyound the way men are exposed, and a woman easily get hurt when it comes to matters of the heart and physical as well
8/7/2010 10:42:03 PM
Marcie Basch United States
Marcie Basch
If you give a woman an inch, she'll GIVE YOU a mile. If you withhold that inch over and over again, she'll fight you for a mile just to get that inch. lol
8/8/2010 3:43:13 AM
Mary E Jones United States
Mary E Jones
There is a very old song that says "little things mean a lot." I don't remember all the words, but part of it goes like this:
"blow me a kiss from across the room
tell me I'm nice when I'm not..
a line a day when your far away..
little things mean a lot."
It's the little foxes that destroy relationships, but the little kindnesses that build them.  Women like the little things.
8/8/2010 8:44:01 AM
Heidi A United States
Heidi A
Actions always speak louder than words ever will.  Make sure your actions and words match.  If you say you love her, what actions do you do with intent to reinforce your words? A woman will hold you accountable to your words/actions so ensure they match up.
8/8/2010 1:45:15 PM
Jill United States
We need you to really listen to us, not just hear us.
8/8/2010 6:46:12 PM
Joy Corbett United States
Joy Corbett
Don't ask "What's wrong"? Either we don't want to tell you(or we would have already), we don't know, or you wouldn't like what we have to say. Instead, give us a hug and a kiss, tell us you're really sorry there is something bothering us, and say "when you're ready to talk, I'm here to listen" and really listen.
8/8/2010 11:47:02 PM
Karie C. United States
Karie C.
When we are upset about something, no matter how silly it seems to men, it is not helpful to say "you are making a big deal out of nothing or calm down." And most of the time we just need you to listen without trying to solve the problem.
8/9/2010 4:47:51 AM
Cecilia M United States
Cecilia M
A guy need to know that to be able to be with a women they need to go to the father up in heaven first. When a guy loves God with all his heart and all his soul it makes women confident that a spiritual leader will be present in the home.
8/9/2010 9:52:16 AM
Susan United States
Sometimes we are mad and hurting and push you away; however, we really want more than ever just to be held and reassured of your love for us.  We are like little kids sometimes; our words don't always match what we're really feeling and we need your reassurance more than ever.
8/9/2010 2:57:54 PM
Drew United States
This is a common topic that has always made me laugh and so I am going to solve the riddle for everyone

At their core all women want to know they are secure and that you are going to keep them safe.

If we men would focus on our wives instead ourselves, and meditate on how to show them that they are safe, life is a lot less confusing. And I say wives because there is nothing more unstable then dating.

Out in public? Can they trust you not to embarrass them.
At home? Can she trust the house won't fall apart with out her?
Apart from each other? Are you thinking about her?

Oh, and ladies:
We men are at our core one thing too:
One-up-manship. You are seeking stability in strong guardians, we are seeking stability in being strong.
8/9/2010 8:00:16 PM
Madeline G. United States
Madeline G.
Chivalry is not dead!
8/10/2010 6:15:38 AM
Tamara United States
Guys, we don't want you to fix the situation/problem, we just want you to hug us through it.
8/10/2010 11:19:03 AM
Alyssa United States
After struggling with something for years and keeping it well hidden, a guy friend of mine wanted to know what was wrong. He lives several hours away and could not see what was going on. Just through texts and chats he could see I was hurting. When I finally shared with him what was wrong, he never failed to tell me I was beautiful, send a hug my way, etc. He got to know me so well he could sense my pain and help to make it better. If he hadn't been there I would be in a darker place. Now I am a happy, healthy Christian.

While we may not tell you what is going on it helps that you are there for us. Today I also received a note from a guy that said if I ever needed anything all I had to do was call. I am only 16, but the people who have usually made a huge difference in my life are guys. Thank you guys who stand by girls and treat them with respect Smile
8/10/2010 4:20:45 PM
yoci United States
men need to be affectionate...and say I love you before going to bed...
8/10/2010 9:22:09 PM
Mary a United States
Mary a
Five love languages---awesome book...Also guys something that might help is the book "Do you think I'm beautiful" Angela Thomas---this is a great book.  It might help you understand women better, we do need to think we are beautiful to our man. I've heard my husband recommend it to some of his friends, and yes the little things count.  Once my husband was looking for a hunting blind with his friends, he stopped along side of the road and picked me a bouquet of wildflowers.  Of coarse he was picked on by his buddies, but those are the flowers I'll remember forever.  Not the ones he purchased. Even though I appreciated the purchased ones too, but the fact that he was looking for a hunting blind and was thinking of me meant the world to me.  I told all of my friends and his buddies wives... Bet you can guess what happened to them. (doghouse) Just kidding, but in all fairness, women need to understand men to, and a book I found that helped me and I recommend to all of my friends is "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge.  Ladies this will help you understand your man and how he is wired.  Trust me it will help you.  I think I've wrote a book now so I better go.....God Bless and keep smiling!!!
8/11/2010 7:30:52 AM
Aimee Dawn United States
Aimee Dawn
treating us like a lady opening doors, standing up when we leave from the table, pulling and pushing our chairs in and out, holding our hands in public telling us you appreciate us well still makes (me) happy to be in your life.  
8/11/2010 6:08:07 PM
Carolyn United States
Guys: 1. One thing that guys wonder about is why women run away, the truth is we want to be found, sought out, "chased" if you will; when a woman runs away or hide it's because she is hurt and wants to be sought out, or simply because she is giving you the chance to be a man and chase her. We feel VERY loved and cherished when a man actually takes the time to "chase" us to our level, to connect with us through finding us. It takes time and effort but is WELL worth it. trust me.  2: Guys, remember, a Woman is NOT a problem to be fixed or figured out but a Mystery to be enjoyed. Don't over-think us...  
8/11/2010 11:09:23 PM
Michelle United States
Guys just need to be patient when we are upset about something and just need to vent to someone. it means so much when a guy just listens to a girls petty complaints
8/12/2010 4:13:57 AM
heather United States
we may look like a mess and we may have mascara running down our face from the tears we cried but we need u to love us lead us and listen also we need u to be our hero and still let us be indepentant

( my boyfriend loves me and i him)
8/12/2010 9:14:58 AM
Mary a United States
Mary a
By the way everyone, those books in my previous comment were recommended to us by our leaders... Happy reading and God Bless.....
8/12/2010 2:17:48 PM
Crista Schaefer United States
Crista Schaefer
My husband continually makes me feel loved noticing things like when I am out of my face make-up or eyeliner, brushing my hair for me as I sit at my vanity table, leaving me little notes telling me good morning on the coffee machine or sending me a quick text saying "1-4-3" which means "I love you."  I am so blessed to have him.
8/13/2010 12:31:41 AM
James United States
I would suggest to guys, remember when you marry, she is now your best friend in the world. She comes before your parents, her parents, your kids, your job, your money AND your buddies. Only God comes before her. And she needs to know it.  If not, don't get married.
8/13/2010 5:32:52 AM
We are sensitive creatures.  When you say things you don't mean....apologize....even if it seems we wont accept it, we will eventually, but your words hurt deeply, and sometimes it's hard for us to forget.... I'm not asking for men to beg us, cause that's not fair either...just make it an apology from the heart...We know if you mean it or not, and if we keep dragging the same thing out over and over, it's not resolved in our heads or our hearts.  Maybe just hold us and tell us your truely sorry and will try to never do or say that again.  And never promise anything you can't live up to.  We know your not perfect and we still love you!!!  
8/13/2010 10:33:50 AM
Chris United States
Hi, I married my best friend. I'm now a divorced, single mom of four boys. Marrying one's best friend is not always a good idea...
8/13/2010 3:35:11 PM
Jennifer United States
That intimacy means more than just the physical. It's the feeling of being close to your partner a feeling of true belonging. Growing closer together in God's word and sharing in each others hopes and dreams.
8/13/2010 8:36:24 PM
Mark United States
I know you are asking 'what do guys need to know about women' and I'm not sure if you'll eventually cover this in a different broadcast.  However, I feel you should cover what women need to know about guys.

Guys don't express their love best with words.  They express their love best with actions.  I personally express my love with actions of servitude:  Taking care of the laundry, cleaning; running kids wherever they need to go; giving gifts, flowers, cards - just because.  Those activities are expressions of love.

Guys can listen.  Just don't blame us because we don't 'perform' as you prescribe.  We don't follow scripts well.  We'll shut down and perhaps do less as a result.  Sure, we screw up, but we need to be respected as well as loved.  We need to know with certainty that you are all for us and are not continually looking around.  Women have tremendous influence over men.  Please use that power carefully.

Finally, guys need to feel that they provide and protect.  Please encourage us to do so.
8/14/2010 6:42:39 AM
Juli Rinehart United States
Juli Rinehart
He had to love my soul.
8/14/2010 11:49:04 AM
Robin Billingsley United States
Robin Billingsley
Scott I am on your side. I tried to call in earlier when you were being ganged up on about the use of your phone while driving.
If they claim you can't talk on a handsfree headset while driving without being too distracted, you can't have passengers in your car either. Talking on a handsfree set is no more or less distracting than having a conversation with a passenger in your car while driving. In many respects it is less distracting because you are not tempted to look at the person while speaking to them. This is especially true if they are in the back seat while talking with them. The comparison to watching TV and talking is not the same as driving and having a conversation. That compares 2 conversations at the same time, difficult to do. This is having a conversation while performing a motor skills. Apples and Oranges girls. Back off of Scott.
Kelly, you are required to be able to stop your car safely in the event something happens in front of you (like the driver stopping in front of you) or you are following to close to the car in front. That is what "safe following distance" is. Being able to stop before hitting something in front of you. That is also a 'failure to control' ticket if you do hit something or someone. Cops and Judges don't dismiss that one!
Robin (Paramedic and School Bus Driver)
8/14/2010 11:49:35 AM
Peggy Pettit United States
Peggy Pettit
I would like guys to know that teasing can be frustrating and maddening. What seems like fun for guys can stir anger in women. It seems sometimes that my husband will tease just enough, then will say, "Take it easy. Just a little teasing." I don't see it that way. It feels like he knows just what to say or do to push my buttons. I feel inside, "Ok, if he is trying to make me mad, I will get mad." Why would you do that to someone you love. I wouldn't do that to anyone. I wouldn't want to deal with their anger anyway. Also, why would someone get fun out of making someone mad. That is mean.
8/15/2010 4:22:51 AM
JR United States
I get where you two are going with this question, but as a twice married man I feel the need to point out that it is just as important if not more so for women to know what a man wants or needs and understanding us. It is so politically correct these days to always blame the guy when something goes wrong or the relationship has trouble. It is not the man or the woman's responsibility. It is the person's responsibility. There are just as many women to blame for problems in relationships as men. And much of that is from the woman not feeling the need or not knowing how to understand their man. There are many expectations on both sides of the relationship, but it is to easy these days to say men do not understand the woman's point of view or feelings. Honestly how many men can say that their female partner understands them? Both of my ex-wives used the excuse that I did not understand what they wanted or were feeling yet they both left me for men that are worse partners then I ever could have been. I may not have always understood her, but it was not from lack of trying. They were both women that thought it was not acceptable for me to ask something about their feelings or view point. I was just supposed to know. Well unless I have had the only two broken relationships on the planet, I think it is safe to say that is absurd. Women and relationships do not come with instructions or owner's manuals. How the heck are we supposed to know what women are thinking if they will not tell us. It is not as hard to tell what we are feeling or thinking. Men are visual and hands on. Women tend to be more feeling and emotion, but that is only good if you are willing to share those feelings and emotions aloud. Like it or not it takes two to tango and if something is not working they both need to work at it. We need to stop trying to blame one gender or the other. It is the individual that is to blame and needs to take responsibility for their actions. When that happens women and men will be able to have long lasting and fruitful relationships. Until then divorce will be the results for far to many couples. I know. I have been there. That is the reason I have given up on finding a partner to spend my life with. Women have been conditioned by society to make the man the problem and make the man change to be what they want. No wonder relationships fail.
8/17/2010 4:17:02 AM
Michelle Vollmer United States
Michelle Vollmer
OK- I know it's not Monday- but I have to tell you about this experience. I am a newly refocused Christian, and I am essentially alone in Wilmington. My situation is not dire- just hard. Last Monday- I really hit a wall. I was so frustrated, and I was wandering around Wal-Mart mad. I was questioning God and asking Him Where HE WAS!! I was telling him I needed something real. AS I am storming around mean faced and scary, this young man stopped me. He said" M'am, I have an odd request. Can I pray with you? See my friends and I are here in the Wal-Mart- trying to Make a Difference." I held back the tears- told God Thank you and prayed with the young men.
I just told them my request was unspoken. I told them that if they were there for no other reason, God had sent them for me. He is Remarkable!
8/17/2010 2:30:20 PM
LJ United States
Dear JR
From all the postings I read here, yours is the most real in my opinion. I am very sorry for your broken relationships and I'll be praying for you. I just want to say that I support you in your decision of not wanting to be married once again. All we need is Jesus anyway. I have never been married and I would love to but if it never happened,I know I am not missing out much.Like everything else in this life, marriage is temporary but as Christians, we are called for an Eternal life.I am not too hot about dating after two long broken relationships and I pray about it and thank God for allowing me to enjoy my life as an unmarried woman. Blessings to K-Love,those who left their comments here and of course JR.
8/17/2010 7:31:01 PM
James United States
@Chris ... I truly sympathize and I'm sorry your relationship did not work out, but I stand by what I said. Guys need to know their wives are now their best friends.  She is not just another person in his life.  She is not the "buddy" he sleeps with.  Or the instant date on the weekend. She is his lover, friend, confidant, right-hand help in life. She is the reason the little black book goes in the trash. She is the reason you don't look at the girlie mags or websites anymore. She is the one you talk to, confide in, ask for help and advice, and turn to in trouble. Maybe that requires a lot of growing up eventually, for personal, spiritual and social growth, but it is required. My kids are important, my job is important, my social life is important, but my wife is MOST important. When everything else is gone - the kids move out, the job changes, the house is sold, the friends go away, she is the one still there. We are committed for life, not just for as long as we both shall "love." I hope you find someone else who is more committed to you than your first. My wife's first friend was my first fiance, she broke it off. Her first husband was a clown who wouldn't grow up. Her 2nd one is now a keeper. Takes a lot of work - we still are working ourselves - but worth it in the end.
8/18/2010 8:59:16 AM
Regina Mills United States
Regina Mills
Men need to know that we want them to be in tune with God & lead our family as God directs him to do so.If he does this we will show him more respect & love him more for leading us toward God & Gods will for our lives!
8/18/2010 2:21:27 PM
Saundra Adams United States
Saundra Adams
They should remember as we do about them that we are not just mothers, wives, income providers, maids, lovers or even women for that matter but that we are individuals...fearfully and wonderfully made children of God who have a unique personality and may not be as high maintenance as they think.  What we need is to be loved for who we are not what we are.  Yes we may be fragile at times but we can be strong too. Men would be amazed at what engaging conversation, true interest, genuine support and honest feedback can do for the relationship.  Also, men, please don't be afraid to take your rightful place as the head of your house and spiritual leader of your house.  In a Godly and Bible based fashion of course.  Sometimes women are dominant because they feel they have to be.  Not because they necessarily want to be.
8/19/2010 8:06:45 PM
Kelly United States
I agree with Mark and Jr. You need to do one for what Women need to know about Men. Just to be equal. Ok, that said I don't agree that it is "more important" as JR states I think it is "as important" It is also not politically correct to always blame the man its just happens that way. Political correctness has nothing to do with whome gets the majority or only blame. It is psychologicall correct to blame the women. Just read most psychology books and they always blame the woman. ie Dr. Lehmans book "Have a new Husband by Friday". He states that when a man cheats its the womans fault and when he is a bad father or husband it is his wifes fault. Most psychiatrist tend to blame the women. Also men have always blamed women just look at Adam. He was standing with Eve when the serpent talked to her so he was talking to them both. All she did was hand him the fruit. He could have just said no. She didn't force or trick him into taking the thing. He heard and wanted exactly what the serpent was selling.
8/20/2010 4:03:55 PM
JR United States
Kelly, the only problem with your response that most books or shrinks blame the woman first is a very limited pool to count and second just not true. If you really believe that you should try spending some time with a marriage therapist. I ahve been to four in the past and every one of the them started the therapy sessions by basically blaming me, the husband. Once they actually heard both sides of the story their position changed and became more centered and indicated all parties were to blame. The truth of the matter is no matter what you watch on TV, read in the media or hear on radios invariably when it comes to relationships blames the man for any problem that arises. I can tell you from first hand experience the blame game does no good. It is hard for the person being blamed to always take the brunt fo the responsibility and ever see a way to improve or feel better about themselves. And until they can feel better about themselves there is no way to work on, fix and feel better about the relationship that needs their attention. Impossible. Even after my wives left me for men with more money or nicer homes, cars and jobs, I felt I had been a poor husband. It took over a year of pretty frequent therapy to realize I was only part of the problem. It takes two people to work on a relationship or break one. Nobody ever does it themselves. As for your comment that women take the blame for men cheating that is absurd. Men and women both cheat for the same reason. I know this because both my ex-wives did so. It is purely and simply a selfish desire for attention to make themselves feel better about their lives or some other thing that makes them unhappy. I have gone on hear to long, but my whole point is that it is NOT a woman or man thing. It is a couples thing. The couple needs to fix the relationship THEY broke. Until both genders realize that and take that approach men and woman should not be in committed relationships. They have two totally different points of view and if they cannot come to the agreement they both need to practice and work on problems they never will.
8/20/2010 9:09:06 PM
JR United States
Why is it that most of these comments from women indicate how they expect to be treated when what they expect, need or want is far better then most of them treat men? Most of the people that know me will tell you I am a very nice person. I was raised a gentlemen by my mom. She demanded it. But try to get even a hello from most women anymore and they look at you as though you are dirt and won't even give you the time of day unless they think there is something in it for them. I know that is generalizing and there are just as many good women as there are men, but that is the point. Women want men to know what they need, want or feel, but how many of them do the same for men? From my experience, few.
8/21/2010 9:29:20 PM
Kira United States
Guys need to show us we mean something to them!
8/23/2010 1:21:35 AM
Kelly United States
JR I am not saying that relationship problems are just the mans fault. I believe both parties were responsible. As far a the cheating thing goes. Therapist and most other people will state that a man cheats because his NEEDs are not being met at home. Therefore it is partly or mostly the womans fault for not fulfilling her husband/boyfriend. Therefore basically giving men the go ahead. I have been reading things from men who believe it is ok to cheat if they are not fulfilled if their girl is no longer good looking to them ect. Oh and mothers are blamed when the kids, as adults commit crimes hurt others don't do well in life ect. They say she didn't prepare them enough. When the fault lies with the person who commited the crime. I am sorry your marriages failed but chances are your ex wive may realize now or later where they went wrong. I wasn't completely disagreeing I was just pointing out that women get a good bit of blame for things that go wrong. Right now it seems men get the major portion of the blame but women take the heat as well and will most likely get the majority later down the road.
8/23/2010 3:57:51 PM
LL United States
honesty very important for both parties to be honest to each other
8/26/2010 1:52:46 AM
heather United States
we may look like a mess and we may have mascara running down our face from the tears we cried but we need u to love us lead us and listen also we need u to be our hero and still let us be independent

( my boyfriend loves me and i him)
8/27/2010 4:08:06 AM
Joan Zapata United States
Joan Zapata
I would like men to know that women in general like a man who is respectful and a gentleman.
When a man finds one woman he thinks is special, focus on what she needs, what pleases her, what matters.  There isn't a "one size fits all".  If you do this and it is the right woman, she will reciprocate.
8/28/2010 11:21:14 AM
Peggy United States
My husband and I have been married 20 years. When I used to see him doing something differently then I would, I would tell him how I would do it. He would do this to me also. We agreed a long time ago that men and women do things differently because they approach problem solving differently. As a result, we never are concerned about this anymore. Things get done his way, or my way. No right way, just a different way. Cool.
8/29/2010 12:23:44 AM
Christy United States
Men, don't pretend to be loving and affectionate just to "hook" a woman and once you do, drop the act!!! That is so wrong.
8/29/2010 5:27:01 AM
Precious United States
HONESTY!!!!!and Sincerity are crucial when dealing with women, we may not like the truth sometimes but we need it to become better ppl or get over things ect.
8/29/2010 12:20:51 PM
Laura United States
Wow, there are a lot of hurt, angry, and bitter people writing in here. I guess what else can we expect when our world is full of sin...the blame games are the tip of what we see between couples, but are not the actual problems in reality.
We are going to have problems understanding each other as men and women because we are different. We think differently and see things differently as a result. Guys hear and think in blue, and girls hear and think in pink.
What we need to remember is that it takes a selfless heart (a heart like Christ's) to be able to come together and make a meaningful relationship last until we're old and dying.
Pink and blue together can make something beautiful when Christ is our individual focus.
Together pink and blue make purple, Royalty to represent Our Savior.

Guys, neither men or women naturally understand everything about each other. It is something that takes hard work and pain. Commitment is going through the misunderstandings, pain, occasional harsh words and coming through the other side a more understanding and knowledgeable human being.
As women we have a responsibility to be committed, pursue Christ,and be the best dang wife we can be. Having patience, and enduring always in respect toward our husbands.

I speak from experience myself when I say there have been many times in marriage when I have felt if he would never understand me. BUT It is Christ and His words that have kept me working hard at communication and not giving up.

Don't give up! If you are willing. Christ will reign in your life and be the everything we continually expect from each other.

Wouldn't it be nice ladies to be in a relationship where the expectations we put on each other don't exist?
8/30/2010 3:13:18 AM
Brenda United States
The first thing that came to my mind: Guys want to fix problems. That's just the way God made them.  (they are more in touch with logic; women are more in touch with their feelings) Often, when a woman comes to a guy, crying about something that is bothering her or if she is overwhelmed, upset, etc, she doesn't want the  guy to try fix it or come up with a solution! She just wants to be comforted, hugged, loved, etc. When a woman reacts negatively when a guys tries to fix her problem, he will most likely be totally confused and will retreat.(After all, he was trying to help!) This could be avoided if the man would understand that the woman needs love and assurance more than solutions. Likewise, the woman should understand the man's natural tendency and desire to fix things, and realize that he is trying to help her the best way he knows how. Guys, most times if we want you to "fix things," we usually ask. But if we simply "unload" our feelings on you, we usually just need comfort.

-Spoken, not as much from experience, but from a fifteen year old's perspective based on her observation of relationships. Smile
9/2/2010 11:54:35 PM
Sarah United States
Sometimes I just need to talk and know that my husband cares. He pours a lot of energy into his computer game. I love the times when we used to just talk and made eye contact. And he doesn't have to always make a comment or fix something. A lot of times, I just want to vent and get a hug. I try to pray about things first, but having someone who will really listen and can put their arms around me is also important. Knowing that he's taking the time to focus on me means a lot, but it doesn't happen very often.
9/7/2010 1:58:16 AM
Victoria United States
Women need to know not only how to understand men but how to communicate with them. That was always the hardest thing for me, learning how to talk to them to make them understand me.
And guys are not always the problem in the relationship. My last breakup was my fault since I was scared and left him. I think he deserved someone better anyway. Everyone has their regrets; mine is how I did not just talk more with him.
9/9/2010 12:42:12 PM
Kelly United States
I agree with Victoria and several others. What do Women need to know about Men. I am somewhat like Victoria, I have never had a meaningful relationship with men. I have no idea how to talk to them and I often feel like an idiot when I do. I am 32 years old and feel inadequate. I have pretty much given up because I know that the problem iw me but I don't know how to fix the problem. I don't exactly know what my problem is. Whether its looks or personality or something different.
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