Sep 14 2010

Did you panic when your kid started driving?!

Scott's son Austin got his learner's permit to drive today. Aiggh! He and his wife, Missy are considering duct taping him in the house! If you are a parent, did you freak out when your kid started driving? Did your parents panic when you took the keys?
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9/6/2010 7:26:27 AM
Barb United States
Barb
My son just starting driving with his learners permit on Sunday.  We left for church very early Sunday morning so he could drive before there was much traffic!
He had to take his test 2 times before he passed.  I had a friend tell me that it was good for him to fail at least once so he didn't get on the road with a big ego thinking we could do it all the first time.
9/6/2010 12:31:56 PM
Lin United States
Lin
YEah, I've deal with it.  My son is now 30.  Lots of prayer.  No one told me all I'd see was the back of his head!!  So I'm telling you so you can't say no one told you!!  
9/6/2010 12:32:25 PM
James United States
James
When my son was 15 he wasn't that interested in getting his liscence, but as soon as he turned 16 and all his friends were driving he regretted not getting it.  This past summer he hurried up and got his permit, then a couple months later took his driving test.  Each time he failed at the permit test I was a little relieved that everything was postponed.  Then when he failed his first driving test again I felt relief.  But now, the relief is over and now he is wanting the car as often as he can get it.
9/6/2010 12:32:32 PM
Joseph Prater United States
Joseph Prater
I was the youngest of four boys, so when it got to me, my parents where pretty calm with me, but they were pretty nervious with my older brothers. All my father (who is a Pastor) later told me was that as more and more of his children got behind the wheel, the stronger his prayer life got.
9/7/2010 3:43:32 AM
Annette Canada
Annette
My son got his license three years ago.  He has had 4 accidents, the last one totaled the car. Needless to say, he has taken his bike out of storage again!
9/7/2010 8:44:34 AM
Kiri United States
Kiri
I was the kid whose parents were terrified to teach to drive. One particular driving lesson sticks out in my mind: I had finally begged and pleaded enough to be allowed to drive the whole family to church one Sunday morning. I'd even promised to take the back roads so mom wouldn't worry about me being in the midst of Sunday morning traffic (which when you get around a certain part of town that is flanked by BK and Mickey D's tends to be pretty onerous on the best of days!) So, there I am, 15 years old and driving and super happy for it. Dad's in the front seat next to be, relatively calm or at least giving a good portrayal of it. My sister is sitting behind dad, buried in a book, and mom is sitting white knuckled behind the driver's seat. Visibility, as we all know, is horrible from the back seat and mom is a very visual person, so not being able to see very well just added to the freak out factor. One minute I'm sitting calmly in the turning lane, waiting for traffic to go past me so I can turn and the next I'm turning and mom is screaming (literally, screaming) that I'm going to drive them off the bridge and into the drainage ditch! Naturally, my instincts kicked in because of a screaming woman in the back seat and I hit the brakes, only to realize that I was no where near driving off the well barricaded bridge and plunging us all to our deaths. Thank God there was no traffic heading towards my back end or there would have been an accident. So, there I am, sitting halfway through a turn, mom freaking in the back seat for no good reason, and dad calmly telling me to finish my turn or we would be late for church.

It should be mentioned that we made it to church in one piece (although mom spent a fair amount of time at the altar during worship that morning, which I'm not reading too much into despite myself) and 11 years later I have an impeccable driving record.

Word to the wise, Scott: Don't scream at your kid when he's behind the wheel. It just makes things worse! Smile

Kiri
9/7/2010 8:44:43 AM
cindy garrison United States
cindy garrison
It is scary when they start driving.  My son got his learner's permit last Summer and his liscence last December.  He has not had any accidents and it is nice to have another driver in the house.  He has run errands for us and you don't have to worry about being late in picking them up from an event.
9/7/2010 1:48:02 PM
Karen United States
Karen
I have 4 children (3 boys and 1 girl) and endured learning drivers. I let my husband teach the manual transmission car to the boys. My daughter would drive with me anytime.  I drove a Chevy Suburban at the time and my philosophy was: "Drive defensively, Drive a Tank." None of them drove the suburban for their driving test though.  

The last two to drive were the twin boys.  They had to know who was driving to and from school planned before they got into the car or I drove.  My rules: Follow the traffic rules and DON'T SCARE MOM! They decided that as long as they were around they would drive me everywhere.

You can read between the lines if you like. They were scary times. They did get me ready for a trip to Bangkok, Thailand to ride in the taxis there but without seatbelts.

Now one of my twins is learning to fly a small plane and he can't wait to take Mom for a ride. He knows I won't make him pull over and let me drive when he scares me to death. His twin brother is an Army Ranger and drives big military vehicles. (By the way they are only 20 years old).

Our children will scare us to death no matter what you do.  My twins also skydive and amaze me every day. I always told them to love what you do. I just pray for them and I am glad that the Lord is always with them because I can't be there.

Praying for you,
Karen Isaacson
Jamestown, OH
9/7/2010 1:48:44 PM
Denise Delhaye United States
Denise Delhaye
I am a single mother of triplet's they are 14.  I am already preparing myself for next year when they take drivers Ed.  I have taken then out and already started to teach them the basics hoping this will help me and them when they add in traffic.
God Bless
9/7/2010 7:08:22 PM
Deb Bryson United States
Deb Bryson
When my son began driving, it was sometimes difficult to leave him in God's hands and know he was ok.  But when he deployed to Iraq, I was a mess the first 2-3 months.  I was driving home one day, and suddenly God said, "Do you really think you're the one who has protected him all these years?"  Well I had up until that moment.  lol  Ok, Nooooooo  Then God said, Is there anyplace in this world that he can go that MY hand can't reach??  Again....Nooooo  After that I had far more peace than I'd had before.  And when he was getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan, I absolutely saw God's hand reach down and supernaturally save his life.  We know that God protects them, but sometimes it's hard to rely on that, but definitely know that God loves your son more than you could ever imagine, and definitely has your son in the palm of his hand.  I left my phone number on the comment line if you have questions or would like to know more.
9/7/2010 7:08:29 PM
Sharri Orndorff United States
Sharri Orndorff
I didn't panic when my girls started driving.  I got them their learner's permits the second they were eligible.  Most folks said I was crazy.  I say, yep.  Crazy like a fox.  They have to have me in the car with them every time they are behind the wheel until they get the real deal.  So, I get lots of time to teach them to drive safely, to drive responsibly, to drive in all sorts of road and weather conditions.  I think it paid off.  Both of them are good, safe drivers.  
9/8/2010 12:22:36 AM
Christine United States
Christine
My uncle tawt my son how to drive. My daughter still doesn't know how because she's to nerveracking to teach.
9/8/2010 10:27:39 AM
Lisa United States
Lisa
My son just got his permit about a month ago. I can tell you my alter quickly moved to the vehicle. My son has been driving quads and sandrails for 9 years and does really well. For some reason when you put them on the road and they have to stay between lines they begin to have difficulties with their ability to drive. I think the hardest thing is they can no longer look around while driving because they will go off the road or into oncoming traffic. The only advise I can give you is to pray before and during your ride in the vehicle. Good luck.
9/8/2010 3:28:40 PM
rrhoop United States
rrhoop
I have 22 & 15 yr old boys. I thought I would have an issue when our oldest got old enough to drive but I was actually relieved that he was out from under our hair & having to take him places. Our youngest will get his temps in Feb and I feel the same way.

It's a battle cause one part of you is soooo glad they are out of your hair and you don't have to take them everywhere and another part of you has to learn to give up more control of them as they get more & more independent. For me...the freedom far outweighed the giving up more control. Now...to just get my 22 year out of the house all together!!!
9/8/2010 8:30:00 PM
barbara United States
barbara
you can do what I did with our eldest..... gave her the keys and told her....."you are taking the keys to a two ton killing machine" .. she immediately gave me the keys back, walked back in the house and didn't ask again for 6 months.  It didn't work with the next daughter, but she won't drive my car, I put smiley face magnets all over my car.. she thinks it looks like a clown car.  
9/9/2010 1:43:39 AM
Kay Doubrava United States
Kay Doubrava
Scott,
You should always find the bright side to every situation.  I have an 18 year old son.  Yes it was nerve-wracking at times while he was learning to drive but I just kept reminding myself of the freedom I would have when I didn't have to chauffeur him everywhere.  You just have to have faith that you raised him to be responsible and put him in the Lord's hands.  He will watch over him.  
Kay Doubrava
9/9/2010 12:32:06 PM
Jaquette Grabe United States
Jaquette Grabe
I was looking at my son learning to drive, he was 13 and I knew that in two years it would be time to teach him, yes I was a litle scared at the thought of it but we never got to that point as my son was shot and killed on September 11, 2008. Now I wish I had that oppertunity to teach him to drive. I miss all those things that would be coming up. Life is so short we need to charish every part of our kids lives no matter what comes up that we may be a little scared about their growing up cause when they are gone you don't get that chance. I know he is in Heaven and I will see him again but I miss the last part of his growing up.      Jaquette
9/9/2010 11:28:50 PM
Jeff Donner United States
Jeff Donner
I have raised three drivers.  the first two girls were in serious wrecks. they both had very minor injuries. There cars were totally destroyed. After those experiences, I decided to do things differently with my son. After he got his learning permit, I decided to train him personally. We spent a lot of hours together in the car. Every time I needed to go somewhere I would have Josh drive me when it was possible. I made up my mind that he would drive by himself when I thought he was ready, and not when the state says he can drive. I believe that kids mature at different rates,and some kids are not ready at 15. Josh did not drive alone until he was 17 almost 18. He hated it not beeing able to drive like all the other kids. We sold the family car so we could by the safest car in our price range for Josh. After some research we bought a 2002 Volvo. Josh is proud of his new car and he is a excellent driver. He has forgotten about not beeing able to drive right away. Do all you can do and trust God with the rest.   Jeff
9/10/2010 4:29:19 AM
Jill Smith United States
Jill Smith
A couple of days before my daughter's 16th birthday, I announced that I would be taking her to the Drivers Services office to take her permit test.  She had never expressed one moment of interest in driving, but I knew that she had passed the classroom portion and was confident she could get her learner's permit.  We go to the office, she passes the test, I start driving home.  After all, she had never even sat in the driver's seat before.  I took her to the local mall and began the lessons that would lead to her license...or so I thought.  We got off to a bad start.  We were driving very slowly up and down the aisles, and were spotted by the mall security.  From her perspective, she hadn't even gone on the road and already she was being pulled over.  She was mortified.  The officer knew right away what the situation was when he looked in the window and saw her, looked over at me, and then recommended we find a less populated part of the parking lot.  He was concerned that we were possibly scoping out the cars for a break-in.  We had a good laugh about it, but when she turned 17, she let the permit lapse and doesn't want to drive any more.  I am sure she'll try again another time, but I bet her children will enjoy this story one day.      Jill S. Smith
9/10/2010 10:06:48 AM
LeAnn Furniss United States
LeAnn Furniss
My two oldest girls now have their licenses.  We and they have survived.  For us, they had to have their permit for a year driving with us AND take a driving course, where they had to spend time in the classroom & behind the wheel with instructors.  The one we sent them to spends an afternoon at a funeral home detailing everything that happens from what the police officer goes through notifying their parents, funeral preparation, etc.  I won't say that they haven't been perfect with their choices; however, it definitely has made them think.  We'll see if this helps with our now 12 year old when it is her turn.
9/10/2010 4:42:09 PM
Chris United States
Chris
The first year of driving is when you realize that a diaper blow out is much easier to deal with as a parent.  The first of everything will keep you on your knees in prayer.  The first rain storm, the first ice storm, snow, fog, first time they are late coming home.....don't have him dead and buried every time, it will only take years off your life! You'll get through it.  Chris in ILL.
9/11/2010 2:38:42 AM
Michael Sheets United States
Michael Sheets
Scott:

First relax it will be ok. We all go through it. I have taught my 2 oldest besides several others to drive and as far as I know noone has had a problem yet.

First thing I like to do with new drivers is take the to salvage yard or tow lot.( usally talk to owner and tell them what you are doing and they will be fine with you looking) I let them look up close at wrecked cars to show them this is no video game its real and its real serious. I also try to inform them about defencive driving by explaining to them that no matter who is at falt if you can avoid an acident it is in your best interest. Being right but dead does noone any good.

Second I will make them sit beside me, with note pad as I drive. On this pad I have them write down all the things I did wrong (deleberate) in the short drive we took. Then I will compare notes. They have to pass three differant times before we move on.

Third I find a deserted parking lot, perferrably large, and let them drive following my instructions, IE: make left turn, go staight, stop then turn right. All the while I am taking notes on what they did wrong, when finished, usally 10 minutes of driving and two or three parking excercises, I will have them park,shut off engine and we will go over what I seen they could improve on. We may try excercise again or go home. Only after they pass this three times will they be able to drive on the street.

Fourth When they are driving on the street have a small rolled up newspaper and when they make a misstake tap them on the leg. Then discuss it with them when the car is safely parked.

Fifth, this may be the biggest one, compliment them when they do a good job and pray with them when they don't do so hot. Ask questions insted of telling like "shouldn't you use your turn signal here?" this allows them to make the desision and not you telling them the answer. Saves a lot of grief.

Remember God is with you and will provide everything you need to get through this.

I will pray for you and Austin

Michael Sheets
Kansas City, Mo
9/11/2010 12:32:03 PM
Barbara United States
Barbara
The best advise I can give is don't wait until the last minute to allow them to practice driving.  When I was growing up, we had old gravel roads to drive on and fields.  We took old trucks out and learned to drive.  I do mean OLD too!  I know alot of people don't have that opportunity or the place, but you can practice in empty parking lots, etc.  Practice turns, parking, etc.  Do not wait until they get their permit either.  Start doing this when they turn 13 or 14.  Then when they get their permit they can practice driving on the road with traffic.  Then you need to learn to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!  God knew what he was doing when he gave us children to raise.  He teaches us to depend on him through raising our children, especially when they become teenagers and get their license.
9/11/2010 5:44:48 PM
gai schwartz United States
gai schwartz
Next time you think of driving with your son think of me, my triplets just got their learners permit,so now I have three very different drivers
learning all the rules of driving. The only prositive aspect of this very stressful situration is that I don't think I will ever have to drive again! I am a single Mom so I hoping with GOD'S grace he will see me through! I'll keep you updated, so far no mishaps!
9/12/2010 11:00:52 AM
nora United States
nora
my son who would like to be a firefighter the first wreck that he had he hit a fire hydrant fortunatly it was dry so no water love my boy
9/13/2010 12:37:10 AM
Jeannie Alden United States
Jeannie Alden
Take advantage of the time you have with your son while he MUST have a license driver with him.  In Kansas, when my kids were young, you could get a learners permit at 14.  I made sure that happened.  I wanted them to drive with me for as long as possible, that meant two years. My husband and I would take them out to various vacant parking lots at first, then gradually moved them up to the highways. Then to downtown Kansas City during rush hour.

You can read and take tests all you want but you must have experience.  The only way for your son to get that experience is with you, the best kind. Most of all make sure the "Holy Spirit" is in the car with you!!

May God Bless,

Jeannie
9/13/2010 11:38:41 AM
Ann United States
Ann
I have raised 2 boys and 1 girl and for me the girl was the hardest. And now she is going through some of the same things I did with her.
9/13/2010 7:11:04 PM
Tony Shelton United States
Tony Shelton
My stepson Charles D. Allen I was involved with life for 15 years.  So I call him my son.  In 2007 he was shot and killed over in sand box during this war.  He did just what he wanted to do and I'm proud of him.  He freely gave his all for his troops and for us U.S.   At his celebration of life I told a story of teaching him to drive.  Charles and I went for a ride one afternoon about 34 outside a little slick out but clear.  He was making a left hand turn and picking up speed to about 55mph.  I looked be hind us no cars so I moved my hand down and pulled the EBREAK and stopped the car. He controlled the car very well.  He looked at me and said what did you do that for.  I asked him how fast were you going?  55.  Did you see the speed limit sign?  No.  It says 45. He never missed another speed limit again.  He took his test and the instructor past him.  Charles came home and told me the instructor said he was the best student she has had in a long time.  Charles asked me if that made me feel good about that?  I told Him it makes me sad to think that if you are the best in along time who was she giving licences to.  Charles was 27 w/a wife and a son.  I do miss him but there are hunting and fishing memories to hang on to and fun times.

9/14/2010 10:50:45 PM
Sandra Rodriguez United States
Sandra Rodriguez
Best advice I can give is to keep your child in prayer at all times.  I freaked out when all 3 of my kids got their license.  All 3 had a wreck their Senior year of high school.  My oldest had her wreck two days before graduation.  My 2nd child wrecked in the middle of his senior year and my youngest wrecked at the beginning of his senior year.  I told them all their one and only wreck was out of the way.  After that, things were good.  No more wrecks!  Praise God.  They are all over age 19 now and I still pray for them daily.  May GOD keep your child safe at all times.
9/16/2010 9:10:53 AM
tyler plummer United States
tyler plummer
I am 13 in alaska you can get your perment when your 14 I can't what
9/20/2010 11:26:38 PM
Tina Gonsiewski United States
Tina Gonsiewski
Hi Scott,
I agree with Jeannie.  I am a single mom and taught all three of my children to drive a manual stick shift.  The boys didn't mind so much, but my daughter wanted to disown me for forcing her to learn to drive one.  It wasn't until she was 18 and was the only one of her friends who knew how to drive one that she came home and thanked me for it.  

That said...  Practice, and lots of it.  I used to take them to a business that didn't work on weekends and we drove circles around the buildings.  Stopping and starting, parking in parking spaces.  Backing up.  It was harmless there and it also served to calm my nerves.  The BMV required that they have something like 80 hours of driving with an adult in the car.  All three of mine had over two hundred.  After the parking lot, any time we went out the one with the permit was behind the wheel.  

Not that I didn't worry when they first started driving solo, but by then I knew how they reacted, thought and drove.  That was comforting for me because I knew they would be careful.  Spending all that time in the car with them also allowed me to teach them to pay attention to the things new drivers don't think about.  

You are a great parent and a great role model and your son will follow your example.  Plus, once he realizes that not only his life is in his hands, but everyone who is one the road with him.  It's quite a responsibility.

He'll do great!  Take a deep breath, you'll be looking back on how you feel now and laughing before you know it.  Smile  Good luck!!!

Blessings!
Tina
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