Dr. Meier offers hope for the abused

Listening to Matthew West's new song and Dr. Meier's topic on abuse is a confirmation to me. I have a book coming out next month, Secrets Under the Midnight Sun. A coming of age story about a girl who deals with abuse in her Christian family. Some editors questioned if such a thing could really happen in a church. Yes, it can and does. I'm so grateful that we have a heavenly Father that wants to heal his wounded children and make them whole. I'm thankful that He uses musicians, doctors and writers in the process too.

I need some answers about abuse.  I live with my husband and he has served in the Army for over 30 years and he has been in Iraq a couple of times for a year at a time.  I have supported him always especially when he was deployed.  He has been diagnosed with PTSD (Post Tramatic Stress Disorder) and a TBI (Tramatic Brain Injury) he forgets things alot and when he is in one of his MOODS I get the verbal abuse, nothing I do is right or good.  He looks at me with such hate and disgust usually he won't speak to me for 2 or 3 weeks.  I ask him whats wrong and he screams at me, "I HURT" and then tells me how bad of a person I am.  He gets help at the base, he is enrolled in all this army help so he gets lots of attention, I continue to get lost in all his pain.  I get no help, no one cares what I go through living with this jekyl and hyde person, they only care what he is going through and the fact that he served our country, it's all about him,  I am so lost in all this I feel like I am about to disappear.  Everyone says thank you to him but what about what me and the kids went through supporting him and what we are still going through??  Where do I come into the picture?  Do I really count or should I continue to be treated like a dog by him?

Abuse or (the abnormal use) of someone is hard to overcome.  By the GRACE of our Lord, I have overcome growing up in a home where my mother was being abused right before my eyes.  It messed with my image of God so badly!  After years of coming to know how good He really is, I have found healing.  I worked for Lakewood Church in Houston, TX for years before moving to Colorado, where I counseled and helped those with a wrong image of God.  I have a book out that offers the tools to anyone who truly wants healing and wants to restore their rightful image of God!  Thanks to KLove for always hitting on REAL topics, and not just fluff!

I want to thank you so much for having the topic on sexual abuse. I have been struggling my whole life, trying to cope and feel part of this world. I have never felt like a normal women, part of this world. I have always felt like I was from another planet. Never belonging anywhere, never fitting in anywhere. I have tried to give up, but god has a plan for me. what, I don't know. I don't abuse myself sexually anymore and I don't let others.

I was in a abusive relationship for 2 years and then he stalked me for almost a year after I finally left him. No one really understands the effects of abuse that can happen even years and years after and how hard it is not to carry all that comes with abuse into the future and new relationships. My abuse was in 2002-2004 and stalked until about 2006. Even to this day he sends me messages about once a month or so telling me hes thinking of me, wants me back and has changed. Its been 5 years since I ended it and to this day I still face what he did to me daily. I have PTSD, anxiety/panic attacks, I have to take xanx and am suppose to be on zoloft but dont like the side effects. I have major trust/love issues and horrible head/neck pain. He injured my neck to the point that its a few inches curved in the wrong way. I have had to spend a lot of time and money to try and fix all these things and I must say that the healing is very slow and some days it all seems impossible but there  is healing that is happening.
I believe that God was there with me through the whole thing because it wasnt as bad as alot of other stories Ive heard. And I believe one day He will heal all my issues. I just need to seek him out. I caught some of what said today on KLOVE and realized how I am letting this guy still have a hold on me. I dont want him to have any more power and will be looking into things to help me heal more. I refuse to let him take away any more of my days, happiness and freedom.

2 weeks ago I had gotten down on my knees and prayed as I came home from work feeling worthless, useless unwanted and unloved. I got into my car to head to church for praise team and choir rehearsal when you interviewed Matthew West talking about his new CD. His song Broken Girls hit me like a ton of bricks. I am 48 years old. My sexual abuse started when I was 4 years old. It last for 9 years. I never got help...I thought I had put it all aside. After hearing that song, I had to go into my church for rehearsal but, I was crying so hard. I got it together...went into the bathroom, looked in the mirror and started to cry again. I sat down in a dark corner of our church when a friend walked up and asked me if I was ok...we sat and talked for a while. I went to rehearsal that night...I sang my heart out. The next day I sought help...I am finally getting the help I need to make me feel good about me. I can feel God holding me and pushing me forward. I am LOVED...I am blessed by his grace. Thank you Matthew and Klove. It is never too late to seek help and guidance.

I just heard a little of what Dr. Meier had to say about childhood abuse and how it shapes your whole life.  So, true!  I also listen to Matthew's new song, and I can't remember what it was called, but it talked about how "you don't have to be that broken little girl anymore."  He could not have been more right.  I was a victim of sexual abuse as a child by a family member, but I'm a lot older now and God has healed me from all the pain. I'm proud to say that God has used my dark past to help others who are or have been victim's of abuse.  He gave me my job as a victim assistant in our county.  I know that I would not have this job if it were not for the healing power of God.  Without Him I would still be that "broken little girl."

I need help recovering from sexual abuse that occurred when I was a child. I was probably molested (and sodomized) multiple times as a young child, but I still have no memory of ever being sexually abused. My abuse began when I was approximately 5 years old. I am now 42 years old and still suffering from the traumatic effects I experienced then. In lieu of the fact I have never received the appropriate professional help yet, I would ask for prayers and any assistance I can get to finally help put these nightmarish thought patterns (and emotions) that plague me, to death. Thank you very much for running this subject on your show. Most people who have never been sexually abused haven't the slightest clue how devistating this form of abuse is. I pray ANYONE who has been abused finds the best possible help God can provide, at the most opportune time in their lives.

recently the man i am with suggested that i start to get help on things that are in my past. after a not very aggreeable talk last night today i desided to start listing to klove at work happens that today was the day that you have the dr on takling about absuse. well listing to other stories have made me want to start getting the help that i am going to need to start with the help that i defently need to get to be the girl he knows i can be but am scarred in my shell behind fear to be.

I wish there was a place we could continue to share with each other. and encourage each other.
Here are some books at Barnes and Noble that may be of help to you.
The Courage to Heal? Workbook also available
Victims No Longer? Mike Lew (For Men/Sex abuse
I Never Told Anyone?Ellen Bass
Allies In Healing?Laura Davis- When in a relationship with someone Sexually abused.
The Verbally Abusive relationship?Patricia Evans

I have experienced victimization from counselors that were suppose to be helping me work through my abuse. So be careful that you choose the right person, you can trust. Keep a journal, it helps alot, draw pictures if you need to.

Hello klove. I'm 25 years old. I just want to say that my mom is the bravest woman I know... She has been through some extreamly bad mental and physical abuse. She has kept her faith in God through all of it. She has protected me and my sibblings as much as possable. She broke free of all that bad and got us out. She knew God had better plans for her. I knew God had better plans for all of us. We are all doing fantastic now.. My mom re married and my (step) dad is the best thing that has ever happened.  

You can't undo the past events... You should forgive and learn from them to make yourself stronger.. It's a difficult road, but eventually you will get there.

Thank you for what you do klove

GOD BLESS

After reading these postest, I felt that I should add that healing takes time.  This is just coming from my own experience.  Even though I feel healed from the extreme pain that my past caused me, I still have times when thoughts of that past arise.  I am blessed to have a God that I can always turn to to turn my thoughts on the future.  I also have a strong support group that I can talk to if I need to.  So that is my advice to all that are struggling or just starting the healing process.  Find someone you can talk to.  A professional, another christian friend, or a support group. I know I healed a little each time I talked about it.  Another thing I did was journel my thoughts.  It always felt as though I was telling someone but I could say things that I may not have been comfortable telling someone.  I also read the book  "Joyce Meyer - Beauty for Ashes: Receiving Emotional Healing."  That book brought out things I didn't even know were related to my past.  My prayer is that anyone that has survived abuse will find emotional healing.  
"To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.  In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory."  Isaiah 61:3

When i heard Scott and Kelly talk about this it made me think of the book that i am writing. Its about a girl who goes through violent abuse from her father because he is an alcoholic. But in the end, the man she falls for leads her back to Christ and they try to get her father put into prison for his wrong doings as well as other things. I knew when i started writing, this is a subject that a lot of people shy away from. I think that the people who actually do go through this can use my book to give them encouragement that there is and will be a way to get out of the abusive situation. Matthew's song Broken girl brought tears to my eyes because i thought of the main character right away in my book.  

I've suffered both emotional & verbal abuse since I can remember (which is about 5 years old) from the hands of my family (esp. my earthly father), my spouses (even my current one, also a Christian), and myself. What I have learned the hard way (which is via God) is to open myself completely and ask Him to change me from the inside out. No, I never understood why I was abused, still don't, but I know God has & will be utilizing it for something greater & always for His praise.  There are 3 books that I highly recommend in order to free yourself from the effects of abuse: (1.) Beth Moore's "Get Out Of That Pit",(2.) Jane Hunt's "How to Forgive... Even If You Don't Want To", and (3.) Dave Early's "The 21 Reasons Bad Things Happen to Good People".  God will help you get through the effects of abuse... if you truly let Him. It's incredibly hard to let go of the pain, of the memories, of the feelings attached to every grievance but, once you ask for God's wisdom & understanding, once you accept that God will use that evil to do good (and He has allowed it for a beneficial reason... just remembering He's a good God), you'll start to feel free, truly free & loving God more & more every day, even being thankful (and I know this is hard to accept... at first) for having endured those super harsh experiences.  Trust me, I've been abused for over 33 years and today I am thankful that He's utilizing that abuse for a much higher & better purpose (changing me to His likeness, for starters).  I love you all & have faith that God is with you no matter what.  Keep strong in the Lord.

Thank you for having this topic on the air and raising awarnes of it especially in Christian homes.  A very impactful book and workbook is Mending the Soul. This has been a very healing resource and groups for me and many many other men and women. another good resource is the Wounded Heart.

Thank you for being on  the air and letting others know that there is help out there. I was abuse in all forms, but with God's help I have been born again, and my life has been a happy one. I am going for my AA degree in Substance abuse counsolering. God Bless You for your programs.

I was a victim of child abuse by my father and also dating violence in high school. I swore I'd never get involved with another abusive man, but I was wrong. My heart hurts for Tonya, a person who commented above. I too was married to a soldier, for only a short period of time. I decided recently to leave after enduring a tremendous amount of verbal, monetary, emotional, and rare physical abuse. He was deployed to Iraq 2008-2009 and came back a completely different person. I didn't realize this major change until after we were married. I was in such fear and had so much guilt about leaving that I stayed and tried to endure for many months. We both got help, the military ordered him into help, and I started counseling the first time I saw the signs. Unfortunately, for me...the threats didn't cease so I left. I had extreme guilt because I know God doesn't "approve" of divorce, but I also know that God doesn't want me to live my life like that. I'm his child and He would never want to see me hurting and in danger like that. Some days are better than others and sometimes I still feel guilty, but I'm in the beginning of all of this and taking baby steps to getting my life where it was before.

Thank you KLOVE for offering this to everyone.

I am a 100% disabled Vietnam veteran and served with a combat infantry unit in the Central Highlands of Vietnam. So U'll know... I've suffered with extreme P.T.S.D. for over 30 yrs. I now direct a P.T.S.D. Workshop, Operation R.E.C.O.N. in Central Calif. (www.operationrecon.net) & have an informative FaceBook page under W.Paul Hughes (type name in FB search). I'll help any of U any way I can. Our troop R going through "madness" with this multiple tour sickness. Let us help. Contact me & let me know U hear  about us via K Love. God's best. I'm hear 4 U. K Love 2 U.  Paul Hughes. If K Love desires to review etc. contact me.

I was severely abused as a child. One ironic thing that I have not been able to overcome is that I have always wondered why as a child that is that when I prayed for help, begged for relief , did God not speak to me. I hear testimonies all the time about young children hearing from God in the midst of tragedy but for me He was silent. To me this was as if he abandoned or rejected me. Scripture says otherwise and I understand about suffering, along with things related to this yet I can't help but wonder if my healing could have began sooner had I simply heard from Him. Another thing is that once one becomes a victim bullies tend to sense it like blood hounds. I have been attacked and injured so many times emotionally, occasionally physically. Lastly, I need to vent for a second. My major hot button is all the misleading information out there that says once you have been sexually abused that you will become an abuser. Anyone that discovers your past can now assume you are a danger and a threat. This is doubly wounding because now I'm re injured feels like being raped again because of what happened to me. Keep in mind that when you read these studies most of the information is collected from the molesters themselves. In order for them to survive they have to some how become less of a monster to you so don't buy it! I am not what happned to me nor does it define me.