Turkey Tips...avoiding a "Thanksgiving Disaster!"

You were asking for people to share there disaster stories.  Mine was the first whole Thanksgiving my sister and I did by ourselves we were probably 16 and 14.  We were getting the turkey ready to put in the oven and we were messing around the way kids do and we managed to knock over the shelf above the sink with the plants on it, all over the turkey.  It was covered in potting soil.  So in order to avoid trouble, we decided to wash it off and cook it.  All was great until a branch of the aloe plant was found inside the turkey after dinner.

My first thanksgiving on my own I was cooking dinner with all the trimmings for my small familey and a few of my husband's Navy friends.  All was well until I unwraped my "turkey".  I had bought just a breast.  I did not even know they were sold that way.  I had cooked turkeys befour, but never one less than 20 lbs.  I know it seems small but I was tramatized by no drumb sticks.  When I called Mamma to find out what to do she said, "Just cook it like you normaly would the whole bird. At least you waited 'til I was up.  Your sister called from Geremany at 2 o'clock this mornin askin' how to tell if her turkey was done."  

As far as I remember back, we have never had a Thanksgiving dinner without my poor mom getting distracted and burning the dinner rolls... I finally got smart and started cutting the heavily browned bottoms off and buttering them (they were usually salvagable)... Now the kids are the adults and I assign that to a young adult family member as I round up the crowd and my husband carves the turkey!!