Oct 18 2011

Times Have Changed

Dalton, 8 year old, called to talk about being bullied.

It's unfortunate that our children will get bullied at school, whether it's about their appearance or dress, their academic ability or hobbies, a disability or just the fact that they're the new kids in town. Here are things parents can do to strengthen their children before the bullying starts, convince them to tell parents if a verbal or physical attack occurs, and keep them safe. 

Start early. Does your child understand the difference between thinking, feeling and action?

Develop a sense of self. A sense of self isn't about children feeling good all the time or getting a trophy for showing up to every soccer game. It's teaching a child to have core sense of sturdiness so her sense of who she is isn't defined by the whim of her peers.

Encourage courageous behavior. Bullying flourishes in school communities when most of the community stays silent while the bullies attack.

Look in the mirror. Become aware of your own behavior, because your children will copy you.

Read full article here. Bully-proofing your kids from CNN.com

StopBullying.gov is a great resource to help understand and stop bullying.

Bullying is different now than it was when I was going up.  Hope this helps!

 

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Comments (14) -

10/18/2011 2:25:19 PM
Amy Sauerbreit from Colorado United States
Amy Sauerbreit from Colorado
YES! Thanks Scott and Kelli for bringing much needed attention to this important, damaging social issue. I've been an elementary teacher for 20 years and the face of bullying HAS changed. Bullies come in ALL shapes and sizes...adults/parents to kids, crossing all socio-economic barriers, all races, all means of communication...verbal, physical, written/text/social networks, etc. Thank you for heightening the awareness of this important issue. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO DO IS KEEP THE ISSUE IN THE MEDIA AND EQUIP THOSE THAT ARE BEING BULLIED WITH KNOWLEDGE and WISDOM!! Bullies HATE it when they are caught...the more we keep informing the public of BULLYING BEHAVIORS to REPORT/What bullying looks like, etc. the more we take away a bully's POWER.  As Christians, PRAY for those that ARE bullying. Sometimes the WORST behaviors stem from a very hurt individual.

PLEASE keep talking about this issue all year, next year, for the next few years!! YAY for you! Just like segregation,women's sticking up for the right to vote, etc...I hope that bullying becomes a thing of the PAST! Awareness is the KEY!   A quick note from personal experience at the elementary level...PARENTS, ADMINISTRATORS, and TEACHERS NEED to LISTEN when their kids are telling them they are being bullied! HONOR your KIDs' by following through and taking these stories seriously or kids will not feel they have ANYONE to TRUST! ALWAYS tell 2 trusted adults if you are being bullied (many times having 2 people hear your story creates a stronger resolution and urgency to resolve)  REPORT the incident, write down everything, start a journal if needed.    Teachers and parents need to watch for signs that their child is being bullied...too quiet, sadness, sad written stories, dark pictures (dark colors used in pictures), talking to parents about what happened at school, etc. BULLYING HURTS KIDS, especially! These days, kids do not have many people to trust-try and be one of those "trusting" people for kids! Thanks again,KLOVE! God is definately weaving his wisdom and love through your work! Mrs. S.,   Amy Sauerbreit
10/18/2011 3:06:15 PM
Rachel United States
Rachel
This is a subject close to my heart. I am currently doing a whole research class based around bullying and the increase of it because of technology and social networking.  In high school I was cyberbullied almost to death, literally.  The pain of rejection and people you think are your friends is sometimes to hard to bare at that age especially.  Youth need protection because a lot of times they are to scared or embarrassed to go to authority or even their parents.  This cannot stay in the dark anymore,  to many precious lives are being taken.
10/18/2011 3:16:45 PM
Jennifer United States
Jennifer
I was bullied as a child because of my weight, mostly by my big brother and his friends - never physically, always verbal. It didn't help that I was the "smart one" and excelled in music and sports.

In high school, I was excellerated in math and actually had the same algebra class as my brother (who is 3 years older). My parents demanded that I be put in a different math class, and I was. But it made it awkward because the other three taking the advanced class were in the original class.

While I would never want a child to experience that, I feel that what I went through made me a much stronger person. I always felt I was mostly normal because so much of my dad's side of the family is overweight, that I always felt I fit in just fine! I've always had a positive self image regardless of my brother and his harsh words. I had great friends (several "my size") and was very involved in church and the chancel choir. I had more than enough love from non-bullies to make up for any words I ever heard!

The worst I ever felt about my weight was the summer after high school, I was in a summer camp with the university, and as part of our community involvement, we went to a local daycare to play with the kids. One of the little kids looked at me and flat out asked why I was so fat. I was shocked a child that young was bold enough to ask! My response was that my dad owns a drive-in restaurant and I had an endless supply of burgers and ice cream all my life (which is true).

But to put a happy ending on this... After my brother and I both graduated from high school and grew up and matured, we became great friends. He even lived with me for 4 months last year while he and his wife were transitioning to move to Florida. My 14 year old self still can't believe it happened! And honestly, I'm still overweight, and my brother loves me anyway!

While I have recently finally gotten serious about losing weight, it is because *I* want to do so, and *I* want to be healthier for my own self.
10/18/2011 5:06:04 PM
Krisandra United States
Krisandra
I am compelled to share some advice that my best friend shared with her children because I feel that it is very wise, she told her children to pray for those who bully them, because maybe they don't have all the blessings that they have, maybe there Mom and dad are not at home to show them love every day, maybe going home isn't the best part of there day, so keep them in our prayers because it is the best way to see through their hurtful words and with prayer all is possible, this is very effective because it helps us to focus on our own blessings instead of focusing on hurtful words.
10/18/2011 5:07:18 PM
Christie United States
Christie
My poor nephew is being bullied and it came to the point where he was assaulted on the bus.  My brother took the story to the news.  www.wtkr.com/.../
My nephew had to have surgery to fix his nose.  Bullying has to stop.  Please pray for my nephew.
10/18/2011 5:22:12 PM
Jordan United States
Jordan
I've been bullied as a child and it is a tough topic. My biggest regret about the whole situation is bottling my emotions. After about two years of the torture I was done with it. I asked God to take the pressure away from me and refresh my life. I prayed for the people who did the bullying. The way bullying was resolved for me was letting my Savior, Jesus Christ handle the situation.
10/18/2011 6:56:14 PM
Julia Riojas United States
Julia Riojas
When we were growing up we were the only Mexican family in town.Being bullied was a way of life. Mom always said "don't do or say anything. I personally got hit spit on and  called the n word. Teachers would do nothing. One day I haD ENOUGH, and I fought back I am the one who got into trouble. Even in High school on girl called me the N word, and I punched her out of the desk, and went to the office. Now days it is called freedom of speach. so bully schmully stick up for yourself.
10/18/2011 7:07:47 PM
Holly United States
Holly
THANK YOU SOOO MUCH for addressing this!!!!! I'm a Jr. in HS and i have been bullyed almost everyday since 3rd grade, when my brother was born a stillborn. I don't and won't ever understand why kids are so cruel and mean, but i appreciate you bring this to the attention of KLOVE listeners! Thanks for all you do!
10/18/2011 7:48:04 PM
Gwen United States
Gwen
First off may God and Lord bless this station till we go home because maybe one day Ill tell you how bless I have been with this station and how much I have been through since I started listening to your station years ago.And Im glad that the topic abot bullying has come up on here.I just sent some new vidoes and worksheets and etc. to a middle school my son goes to he is in 7th grade and at school, bus stop and even around the park we live.We have some bullies.Very sad this still goes on my son gets alone with everyone and I know most likely one reason he gets bullied is he is mixed I still get very sad when this is still a matter in our countryFrownI cant be with him always he wants to fight when they say bad things about him or even me but I tell him if you can and its hard for a 12 year old to just back down and say God loves you too and I forgive you.I pray for all my children when they leave for school.I dont ever want them to think its them for any reason.Just because the devil THINKS he is so strong.He has such little time.And I believe all bullies one day will see what they did or done.But we must fight the good fight.I pray that your station will stay going till we are called home.God bless you guys and all the bless singers
10/18/2011 7:56:52 PM
Gwen United States
Gwen
I have this station on 24 7 and I have fought the devil more when this station was on but thats ok every battle I over come just makes me stronger.If its Gods Will this station will never perish till its time to go home.
10/18/2011 7:57:03 PM
Gwen
Gwen
I have this station on 24 7 and I have fought the devil more when this station was on but thats ok every battle I over come just makes me stronger.If its Gods Will this station will never perish till its time to go home.
10/19/2011 8:07:47 AM
Leilani United States
Leilani
I became a bully because I was bullied. When I was 6-years-old, a boy in my neighborhood would chase me around and call me names. I woke up one day and decided to beat him up. I beat him up and from that day on, he never picked on me and neither did any of the boys on the block.

I learned to align myself with the mean and tough kids at school. Its sad that I had to do that. On the other hand, my niece was assaulted at a school and it took 6 months for the incident to get to trial. The girls that assaulted my niece had a troubled mom. The police were frequently at their home.

I believe bullying starts at home. Parents need to be held accountable for their kids actions.
10/19/2011 10:06:03 AM
Jo Ann Harden United States
Jo Ann Harden
Bullying and just plain being mean can happen to our children of any age. I lost my nephew to depression two nights ago.Life is so precious. Tell your loved ones that you love them every day. Burying your child has to be the hardest thing a parent could ever do.  Rest in peace Donald Jonathan Dreher. Only 30 years old.
10/19/2011 2:44:41 PM
CINDI United States
CINDI
Bulling is not something that has just started in our society. However, the use of text messaging and social networking to inflict more trauma is a powerful tool. Our society has come along way as to talking about issues that are occurring and getting help to handle them. And emphasizing over and over to children as well as teenagers it is a good  to talk about those who attempt to manipulate, pressure, or physically
intimidate anyone to get their way. If anyone has a child who is in this situation, or is behaving unusual, do not accept minimal excuses. Dig out the cause. Always remember there is a stimulus for the behavior being demonstrated. What ever you do ,DO NOT GIVE UP. Masking extreme pain can be seen in self mutilation, drugs, alcohol, if you have a gut feeling....go with it. You could potentialy save your child's life.
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