Oct 26 2011

Dealing with the "Mully"

I have coined a new term today.  In the past I have used "Momarazzi’s" and "Mompetitors," but now there is Mom Bully’s or what I call the "mully’s." Learning that in my life sometimes you gotta choose to ignore the "Mully's."

You know when someone says something to you and doesn’t sit well, it makes you wonder if that was that nice or nasty?

Maybe you’ve experienced this too, that bullying doesn’t just happen at school with your kids but that it happens to adults too, especially mothers.  

I like to be silly in my style of mothering. 

There’s the "Momaraazi’s" are the ones with the big cameras and telephoto lenses at soccer games that are on the field as if they were a ref (that’s somewhat me).

There’s the "Mompeditors" which are constantly one upping you on what their child is doing that’s far superior to yours. 

Now I’m coming up with a new one.  The Mom-Bully and we’ll call her the “Mully”.  

Definition of a "Mully":  one that appears to be perfect; exaggerates the capability of her precious children, therby making you feel bad about yourself. 

Dealing with a "Mully" in my life and I haven’t figured out the exact right way to handle it.  There’s always the old standby:  “I’m rubber your glue and whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks onto you.”

That’s pretty childish though.  Just working on not letting what others say bother me, it’s a struggle I have.  Maybe you too?

What I do know is what God says about me and you.  He is enthralled with your beauty and rejoices over you with singing. 

That’s better than the I’m rubber your glue thing.  Share your thoughts here or on Facebook.

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Comments (13) -

10/26/2011 8:05:00 AM
joshie United States
joshie
hey Amanda i was wondering if u would play a song special song for me.
10/26/2011 8:17:41 AM
Mark United States
Mark
Hi Amanda,

I was raised by a single mom and I was the youngest of six children.  What my mom (hero) taught me is that others can never make you feel a certain way.  "Choose joy" she taught me.  I have also learned to love those who would try to make me feel inferior.  I loving them you will "put heaping coals on their head... Prov).  Choose joy, Amanda.  You really encourage me.  I tell my two daughters and my wife about your single mom stories.  Choose joy!

Mark
Your brother in Christ
10/26/2011 8:20:31 AM
Francesca United States
Francesca
Amanda -

I'm so greatful that you have joined the KLOVE team. As a single mom myself, I can appreciate all that you are going through and the "mully"s out there (and yes, especially at church....do you think they've read The Book?!).  Keep doing what you're doing and love those angel babies of yours....they have a super cool Mom!!!

Francesca
10/26/2011 8:26:28 AM
Mel United States
Mel
Amanda,

I have dealt with these "moms" too.  It can be very hard for me to not be a "mompeditor" in return.  Thank you for sharing your experiences and letting us know that we are able to take the high road.  I will remember your F.I.D.O. the next time this happens to me.

I listen to K Love at work on my Ipod.  It helps me to avoid the office drama around me while hearing great music and amazing stories that keep my day positive.  Thank you GOD for providing this ministry.

10/26/2011 8:27:40 AM
Heidi United States
Heidi
Pray for the Mully.
Definition of a "Mully":  one that appears to be perfect; SHE IS WEAK AND NEEDS TO BE LIFTED UP. exaggerates the capability of her precious children, SHE LOVES HER PRECIOUS CHILDREN BUT MAY FEEL INADEQUATE OR THAT HER LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH. SHE MAY NOT KNOW THE LOVE OF THE SAVIOR therby making you feel bad about yourself ONLY WE CAN MAKE OURSELVES FEEL BAD ABOUT OURSELVES, WHEN WE FORGET HOW TO REST IN GOD'S TRUTH.
Let's pray for the MULLY, I will Smile
PS - Amanda, you're awesome!

10/26/2011 8:38:11 AM
Alysia United States
Alysia
It is better to have your hands full, then empty, better to have alot on you plate, then starve. Thank God for all you little cares!
10/26/2011 9:01:42 AM
Rachel Karimi United States
Rachel Karimi
Rachel Karimi  
I wanted to comment on your issue with moms that are bully's. I have three young kids and we are a little on the different side but that is how God made us. At different times in my life I have been in the same situation as you are now and I wanted to incourage you a little. If I was you I would continue to pour the love of Christ out on this woman, do what Jesus would do, and allow God to convict her heart. Then you can feel good that you have reacted the way God would want you to. I am not saying that it will be easy but God will give you the strangth. God Bless and hang in there. Rachel (Utah)
10/26/2011 9:03:04 AM
genice United States
genice
hey amanda,
i was just listening to you and had to jump on. totally get where you are right now and feel it all the time. i, myself, am a mom of 4, ages 7-3 and am often doing it alone as my husband is a long-haul truck driver. i remember introducing myself to people the first year richard started long-hauling and adding the disclaimer, "yes, i am married." i always felt the need to explain why i had four kids hanging off me, couldn't finish a sentence with a grown up and didn't have back up. i feel the mully's power, which i'm sure you can guess what is coming next: the devil's power. where as i do agree with mark about finding your joy, these type of situations always leave an impact and have a heavy influence on your confidence. just the stares are enough to break you into tears on a vulnerable day. some advise, if i may, and to follow your lead in making our own vocabulary for the phenomoMOM in our worlds, find yourself a "bully buffer". something or someone that will let you out of the situation and help you find your confidence again. i've even used my little fruits for it. i remember being in a particular situation where i felt cornered by a mully with "excelled children" and picking up one of my little guys and making them giggle the way only a mom can and saying to my mully, "have you ever heard a more perfect laugh. my kids have the best laughs." or letting a close (very close) confidant that you would like to be "rescued" if ever they see you alone with a particular mully. "can you not let me be alone with her please," is enough explanation to a good friend most of the time. the ultimate fallback for me is a favorite song (whatever your doing, do everything, rise) or verse (Ecclesiastes 7:20,1, proverbs 16:33) that makes me feel like i have a grip again. God has given us the best roller coaster EVER raising the children we have. put your hands up, scream as loud as you can, grit your teeth and challenge your mully to handle it with the grace you do. it is truly excruciation for a mully to loose. and there is no other competition than to be prepared with the confidence God gives you as a mother and champion for His way.
good luck from another mom in the trenches. the battle will not be lost, we have the Big Guy on our side.
10/26/2011 10:25:16 AM
Michelle United States
Michelle
Hello Amanda,

I am not a mother yet. I am only 22, but I just wanted to encourage you with the verse in John 15:9-12 God loved Jesus, Jesus loves us and therefore we can love one another. When we just love, love, love, there is nothing that person can do. Another thing is what my sister/spiritual leader and I  do. We put on our "Jesus eyes" anytime we encounter people who like you said we can't tell whether they are being "nice or nasty."The reality is we should always have our Jesus eyes on and see people with Christ's eyes and always pray for our enemies. Man its tough ha ha but God is our strength, how awesome is that?! Blessings!
10/26/2011 1:05:53 PM
Kelly United States
Kelly
Wow, I have been dealing with an issue for some time now with another mom (or at least I think its her) and it has really had me run the gamut of emotions - embarrassment, anger, sadness, regret - and just this morning I thought to myself "it's like having an adult bully!". Then I dismissed the term thinking I was being too sensitive. But "mom bully" is exactly what I was feeling like it is. That's what it feels like, anyway. So thank you for at least making me feel like maybe its a real thing. At least I can somewhat see how to deal with it. Not sure yet. Thank you, though!
10/26/2011 1:07:26 PM
Kelly United States
Kelly
@Michelle, I love that, thanks for the verse!
10/26/2011 6:36:05 PM
Amia United States
Amia
Amanda,
I love KLOVE and all of the DJ"s are amazing.  Thank you for all that you do!!! You are all a Blessing!  I listen to Klove through the static many a days and cant wait until I get 20 min. out of town, heading North to pick up Klove loud and clear on the radio.

Im not a single mom, nor am I married, but I really love hearing your talks about your mom, and just thoughts on Living LIfe!

I am addicted to starting my day with  Sara Young's "Jesus calling".  Of course I was introduced to it when I heard one of the devotionals read on KLOVE.  So now,  I want to share this with you...

October 12th went something like this...
  Be Aware of seeing yourself through other peoples eyes.  It is more real to see yourself through my eyes.  My gaze upon you is steady and sure, untainted by sin.

It is so true.  No matter who or what we are, we need to try and remember this, only What God Sees and Thinks matters.   Maybe if more of us can remember this , we will out number the Mully's!  
11/2/2011 8:35:14 PM
Sonya United States
Sonya
Hi Amanda, i just wanted to send a word of encouragement to you; when you spoke of the mully,(it brought back memories) I had a mully in my life also, she made me feel completly defeated, But i wanted to encourage you and lift you up to the lord. if i could give you a hug, i would,and tell you give your self a break you are loved and cared for. most of all that mully grieved the lord and holy spirit, i pray the lords blessing over you
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