Nov 21 2011

Identity Shift "OMO"

It's not that bad after all to go out to a restaurant to eat on your own.  


Maybe you’ve been through an identity shift in your life.  Maybe it’s when you become an empty-nester, or you go back to work after staying at home with the kids.  Maybe you move and start a new school and you get to be something else. 



Had one of those quiet weekends and my house…the sunshines, my kids, when to be with their Dad for Thanksgiving, and I found myself in the quiet.  At first it was really uncomfortable, I started turning on tv’s and radios, I needed noise. 


I realized, the need to discover who you are on your own.  Away from the roles you play in life.  Away from spouse.  Away from parent, even away from friend.  To learn just how to be on your own.  To go to dinner on your own.  To go to a movie on your own.  Got a new term for these times.  OMO...or on my own.


After about an hour of creating noise in my home, I decided to go out to breakfast and enjoy the quiet.   To Be Still as God says. 


Turns out, I kind of like creating this new identity,  I could learn something new.  Maybe I’ll learn how to play the piano or something, or just sleep.


Couple benefits of OMO lifestyle I'm learning...the house stays clean, and I get to carry a much smaller purse.


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Comments (4) -

11/21/2011 9:34:03 AM
Delisa Seale United States
Delisa Seale
I thank God for the challenges of "identity changes". I'm 46 years old and have gone through many changes in my life. Although I never initially embraced them, through them, I learned how to keep an ongoing conversation with God, in my heart, which helped me to feel less alone. Over the years this has strengthened my relationship with Him and my identity of who I am in Christ. I have learned to be be more confident and less dependent on others opinion of me. It has had also taught me to be more real with others and more compassionate. Praise to our heavenly Father from whom all blessings flow!  
11/21/2011 9:41:22 AM
Kolin United States
Hi Amanda,

First you need to know that as a single mom, YOU ARE THE BOMB!!! God gives us (yes, I am a single mom too!) "special strength" to be Mom AND Dad from time, but moreover, to TRUST IN HIM that when your kids are NOT with you, that God has his eye on them and we need not fear. After all, who is better equipped to watch over them than God? Just know that you are not as alone as you feel out there, trying to carve out a new life to live. One that doesn't involve your blessed children every moment of every day. Trust and believe that in no time at all, you'll find yourself looking at the clock and the time that they are to return to you, and you haven't QUITE tackled "how to rewire the kitchen" (for instance). :O) :O) Do yourself a favor and go buy some size 17 knitting needles and one skein of  "Lion Brand Homespun" yarn of your color choice, cast on 15 stitches and knit every row until your yarn is just about gone, leaving about 1 yard to cast the stitches OFF the needles. (You can find EXCELLENT instruction on knitting on youtube videos). It's good therapy for "alone" time and relaxing - especially when listening to K-Love on the radio and ENJOY your "OMO" time. And you have my TOTAL permission to email me if you get stuck on your knitting. When you've graduated from the scarf and all your kids have one that mom made, we'll begin on the hats. Remember, you are a woman of GREAT courage and strength.

In Christ,
Kolin (Mom of one son. I admire you for doing the job TIMES THREE!!! Hang in there. You are EXACTLY where God wants you to be - inspiring Moms like me in the early morning hours!) :O)
11/21/2011 11:27:37 AM
Sidney Clark United States
Sidney Clark
I have been reading your stories, and they really hit home for me.  I am in my 2nd year after my wife filed for divorce, and I still struggle with the changes each day.

Our four children (18, 16, 9, 3) rotate from her house to mine and back every week each Sunday evening.  It is always a struggle to get through the silence the first couple of days. I will admit that it helps that I go to Sunday evening service right after their mother picks them up OR we start our week together at church.

The idea of finding out who I am on my own is defintely foreign to me.  I have spent 17 years being the husband and dad for my family always putting myself last.  I struggle with the guilt I have now by doing something for just me.  

I realize I need to take more of this quiet time to help my relationship with God grow even more and to spend more time listening to him.  We need to keep remembering we are not alone even if it may be a little less noisy when the kids are not around.  

Take care,
11/21/2011 12:18:44 PM
karen United States
I am happy that Klove is a ministry/on air church that is supporting single people who want to find a place in the community of believers. All kinds of single people are having trouble with acceptance at their churches.  I am so sorry that you, Amanda, have to go through this struggle- you are doing the right thing, reaching out to community, reaching out for the company of true friends. God bless you for showing your vulnerability to the rest of us who need to hear you and your struggles.  Ask God to give you new dreams when the old ones fall apart.
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