Jan 15 2010

Love Dare - Day 10

Love is Unconditional

 

God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ dies for us.  – Romans 5:8

 

If someone were to ask you, “Why do you love your wife?” or “Why do you love your husband?” – what would you say?

 

Most men would mention their wife’s beauty, her sense of humor, her kindness, her inner strength.  They might talk about her cooking, her knack for decorating, or what a good mother she is.

 

Women would probably say something about their husband’s good looks or his personality.  They’d commend him for his steadiness and consistent character.  They’d say they love him because he’s always there for them.  He’s generous.  He’s helpful.

 

But what if over the course of years, your wife or husband stopped being every one of those things.  Would you still love them?  Based on your answers above, the only logical response would be “no.”  If your reasons for loving your spouse all have something to do with his or her qualities – and then those same qualities suddenly or gradually disappear – your basis for love is over.

 

The only way love can last a lifetime is if it’s unconditional.  The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.

 

The Bible refers to this kind of love by using the Greek word agape (pronounced uh-GOP-ay).

 

It differs from the other types of love, which are – phileo (friendship) and eros (sexual love).  Both friendship and sex have an important place in marriage, of course, and are definitely part of the house you build together as husband and wife.  But if your marriage totally depends on having common interests or enjoying a healthy sex life, then the foundation of your relationship is unstable.

 

Phileo and eros are more responsive in nature and can fluctuate based upon feelings.  Agape love, on the other hand, is selfless and unconditional.   So unless this kind of love forms the foundation of your marriage, the wear and tear of time will destroy it.  Agape love is in “sickness and health” love, “for richer or poorer” love, “for better or worse” love.  It is the only kind of love that is true love.

 

That’s because this is God’s kind of love.  He doesn’t love use because we are lovable but because He is so loving.  The Bible says, “In this love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:10).  If He insisted that we prove ourselves worthy of His love, we would fail miserably.  But God’s love is a choice He makes completely on His own.  It’s something we receive from Him and then share with others.  “We love, because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

 

If a man says to his wife, “I have fallen out of love with you,” he is actually saying, “I never loved you unconditionally to begin with.”  His love was based on feelings or circumstances rather than commitment.  That’s the result of building a marriage on phileo or eros love.  There must be a stronger foundation than mere friendship or sexual attraction.  Unconditional love, agape love, will not be swayed by time or circumstance.

 

That’s not to say, though, that love which began for the wrong reasons cannot be restored and redeemed.  In fact, when you rebuild your marriage with agape as its foundation, then the friendship and romantic aspects of your love become more endearing than ever before.  When your enjoyment of each other as best friends and lovers is based on unwavering commitment, you will experience an intimacy that cannot be achieved any other way.

 

But you will struggle and fail to attain this kind of marriage unless you allow God to begin growing His love within you.  Love that “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7) does not come from within.  It can only come from God.

 

The Scriptures say that “neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).  This is God’s kind of love.  And thankfully – by your choice – it can become your kind of love.  But first you must receive it and share it.

 

And don’t be surprised, when your spouse begins living confidently under its shade, if he or she doesn’t become even more lovable to you than you remember.  You will no longer say, “I love you because …” You will now say, “I love you, period.”

 

 

Today’s Dare

 

Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse --- something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else.  Wash her car.  Clean the kitchen.  Buy his favorite dessert.  Fold the laundry.  Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.

 

 

He who trusts in the Lord, loving kindness shall surround him.  (Psalm 32:10)

Click here to buy a copy of The Love Dare book.  

Click here for a free online journal for the full 40 day challenge.

 

Material taken from The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, copyright © 2009 by B&H Publishing Group. Used by permission. 

Comments (42) -

1/15/2010 12:40:38 AM
Michael Corbin United States
Michael Corbin
This is Michael Corbin,I shared on here yesterday Thank you all for your prayers and support, I have some good news, one of the people has reconciled and the other has gotten as bible and wants to read/discuss it. I am truly Happy for them both. still no word from my wife and I still don't know about my daughter, I am not strog or smart however, I am petty weak and vindictive, I get angry and lose hope to quickly. The Lord God is doing a work in and through me. I pray for all of you, and for all of haiti. I don't know what I am going to do. But I wish to say this to each and everyone of you as my witness before God.  I will Serve The Lord.
Thank you all again. I love you all deeply. My Heart breaks for everyone suffering tonight. May the Lord Bless and Keep you Always.
1/15/2010 2:53:41 AM
Bob United States
Bob
I have noticed some are asking how to get earlier posts.
At the top of the page in small yellow lettering, there is a "back" link (also a "forward" if on an earlier day), usually saying Love Dare " ". (I say usually because in between sometimes there is a news story.) if you keep clicking on that "back" link... it will take you to the first of the "Love Dare".
1/15/2010 4:00:04 AM
Rachel United States
Rachel
I was listening yesterday morning to the show and heard to the pain that is being felt.  I began to weep loudly because this is one of the roughest weeks of my marriage.  (Had just told a friend that my husband  and I were better now after ten years of marriage.)  I think that people are being honest and real.  It is easy to talk about good things.  Day 10--9 yesterday....some 'crud' is coming to the surface.  Perseverance!
1/15/2010 4:05:10 AM
Jenn United States
Jenn
I have to admit after receiving an email from my husband yesterday saying that now that we are separated and he is  moving on with his life, he is happier than he has ever been with me and that he is himself again. I wanted to just quit yesterday.

Reading today made me feel that much stronger that I can't stop now. God didn't bring me this far to give up now.

He's in Iraq so I'm not really sure what I could do to accomplish this dare today. However, I'm going to continue to think about it and figure something out.
1/15/2010 5:00:48 AM
Pam United States
Pam
Wow.  It has been less than two weeks since I have changed my attitude as I have been following the love dare and my husband has already noticed a difference.  He literally said to me yesterday, "Thank you for being nice to me today."  I feel like I didn't do anything huge.  All I did yesterday was great him at the door with my daughter, have dinner ready for him when he got home, and I refrained from negative comments.  Nothing that was that difficult.  But he noticed!  On the one hand, it saddens me that I have been anything but "nice" more recently in our marriage.  However, it gives me hope that it does not have to take anything drastic to renew our relationship again...just prayer and a little more attention directed towards him rather than being so wrapped up in myself, my daughter, and my work.  Thank you for helping me get back into that pattern of love that God intended for our marriage.
1/15/2010 5:04:32 AM
Shanda United States
Shanda
I want to thank you Lisa and Eric for doing this Love Dare Chanllenge.  I started it back in October, but never finished as I did not like that my husband was not doing anything to make our marriage better.  However, I have started over again with you guys and want to stick with it this time.  I want to have the renewed and restore marriage.  I also want to think you Lisa for sharing yesturday morning about the struggle you have had with your marriage and how you had to go to marriage counseling twice on your own throughtout your marriage, and so forth, before your husband made took a step.  It shows how good God is and how he wants our marraiges to be strong and renewed.  
1/15/2010 5:11:51 AM
Brandy Hurrelbrink United States
Brandy Hurrelbrink
I bought this book about a year ago.  My husband and I were going through my husband having a year long emotional affair.  I swiftly went to Christian Counselling group in our town, and he went with me.  Though the Counselling was tough it did help some, but not completely.  I did go out and buy this movie, and book, and used it for the 40 days.  I have just heard about the radio station doing this Love Dare, and I am excited to join in this, but I am 10 days late into the program.  Though I may be 10 days late.  I believe that I am familiar enough with the book that I am going to start working on day 1 and 10 today, Saturday I will work on day 2 and 11, so and so forth tell I am through day 9.  Though I know that after the 40 days I will revisit day 1 and repeat through day 40 again on my own.  I just love the opportunity to join in this.  My marriage is still has its struggles, and I am determined to get the whole wondrous LOVE back in our marriage.  I am blessed to have a place to be accountable for this program.  I am excited to see all those who are blessed with these GOD spoken words in the marriage.

Thanks again,
Many prayers and much love
BH
1/15/2010 5:38:06 AM
Jen United States
Jen
Last night I shared with my Love, all that had happened that morning from my blogging, to Lisa's moving words, to all of the posts from so many supporting and praying for us.

I didn't know what his response would be, but wanted him to know how powerful this experience is for me.  He didn't have a whole lot to say other then "That's awesome!" regarding my explanation.

A bit later when we were talking again, about how the Love Dare worked in the movie Fireproof, he commented that "that's just a movie."  I'm not sure if my response was the right one but without thinking, i responded..."and the bible is just a book?"  Nothing more was said.  
It would seem to me that the catalyst for the outcome would not matter as long as the process is as powerful and filled with God and love as the Love Dare seems to be for me....


I know he is pondering things.  He's always so self assured and certain of himself...but somehow i'm hoping that this experience is causing him to question different things that he'd not normally.

Today I will continue with the dare and offer him only love and devotion...

best wishes to everyone on their journey today!
Jen
1/15/2010 5:55:00 AM
Kelley United States
Kelley
I too am going to join the Dare today.  My husband too is having an emotional affair.  I tried working through the Dare alone and made it pretty far.  I intend today to restart continue with KLove in the Dare.  I will do like the previous listener and double up until I catch up.  My husband sees the change now maybe the change will work in him as I repeat some of the challenges.  I am excited to see the work that is happening for others, it gives me hope in my situation.

Blessings,

Kelley
1/15/2010 5:55:33 AM
Shirley Fournier United States
Shirley Fournier
I have been listening to your love dare and it came to mind that I should do the love dare with my mother in law.  I loved my mother in law dearly and in 2002 I insisted that she come live with us, she was in her late 70's at the time. I was so happy, but instantly she started making comments that hurt and showed that she did not consider our home her's.  This behaviour went on until 2007, of which I tried very hard to ignore but realize now that it did affect me greatly.  In 2007 she did something that BROKE MY HEART.  At that point I lost all respect, love and just didn't like her anymore.  This was an unrest in my life until 2009.  I was born again in my teens but never lived for God, in 2009 I gave it all to Him.  One morning God suggested that I invite my mother in law to read and pray with me, well my response was "I DON'T THINK SO". I did ask and she accepted, now we read a pray togather most mornings. For a year I have ask God to help me love her again, this morning on your show Eric stated that love is a CHOICE, praise God, today I choose to love her so I am taking your love challange with my mother in law. Please pray for her and my hussband, neither are saved. Thank you so much for your ministry. One day you both will know the impact that you have for God.  
1/15/2010 5:59:55 AM
Marcia (Marsha) United States
Marcia (Marsha)
My husband and I have a wonderful marriage of soon to be 35 years.  I have been listening to K-Love for many years and think the love dare is a great idea.  Yesterday I ran to my husband when he came home from work and gave him a huge hug and kiss, we always kiss when we leave or come home but just a little peck, so this was very different for him. He just looked at me and said "ok what did you do". We burst out laughing.
I am very blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life and I thank God every day for him.  I am praying for all the ones taking the dare that have not found true happiness in their relationship yet, but God does answer prayer, I've found that out early in my marriage.

God bless you all and keep doing what your doing.
Love,
Marcia
1/15/2010 6:34:57 AM
Jenn United States
Jenn
Hmm...where to start?

My husband and I have been married for 12 years now.  We pretty much agreed from the beginning that divorce was not an option for us.  We also agreed from the beginning that we both wanted kids and started trying right away.  

We tried for 11 years, fostered a 3 year old little boy and then had an opportunity (thanks to insurance) for one chance at In Vitro Fertilization (IVF).  I had surgery to remove my tubes and recovery was tough but I knew that the end result was going to be IVF and a chance at a long-awaited child with my husband whom I loved very much and who was my very best friend.  

Well, I also need to mention that my husband and I were co-youth leaders/pastors at our church and we loved our kids in the youth.  

Anyway, I started the IVF meds in December and had my embryo transfer January 5th of 2009.  On January 16th we found out we were pregnant! I was so blown away by God at that point and so on fire for God.

However, on March 29th I walked in on my husband having an affair.  I was then told that it started the day after my embryo transfer while I was on bed rest for 2 days to give the embryos a chance to implant.  I didn't leave my husband at this point because I was pregnant and he begged me to stay.  He said I was the one he wanted and that he was really sorry.

My baby boy has since been born (Sept 30th) and I could not be more blessed by my baby!  However, me and his daddy (my husband) need some work.  We have decided to try the love dare.

I am feeling defeated, depressed, feel weak for staying, and lonely.  I pray that God really works on and through me.  I pray that he helps me to forgive and learn to love my husband again.  It's not that I don't love him at all, I just don't love him the way I used to or should.  I want that CRAZY love (as my Italian in-laws call it) back.  I'm just not sure it can really happen.  For my baby's sake, I am hopeful.

I have agreed to do the love dare with my husband.  He said he just can't start it right now because he just started a new job and he wants to be able to give me 100% of himself. Hmm...I'm praying that we MAKE time to do the love dare.  I also pray that it helps save our marriage because at this point I am desperate to be happy again.

Well, prayers to all and may God bless you all.
1/15/2010 6:43:48 AM
Cyndee United States
Cyndee
This morning I had a little bit of a blow from my husband. I went to my 5:30 spinning class this morning and when I came home my husband was there (he took the day off today).  I expected him to have slept in but he was up and ready to head out the door.  Anyways, he looked at me and said "Is that what you wear to spin class?"  The tone was so mean and hateful and condescending.  He looked at me like I was a piece of you know what.  I simply said "Yes.  Why?"  He didn't answer and just turned around and walked out the door.  

Of course this hurt me deeply but I immediately turned to God and asked to help me forgive him for being so mean to me and to bless him since he must be very unhappy.  How can someone be that unhappy at 6:45 in the morning?!  I am sad that he treated me that way after I have been really trying for the past 9 days to do all I can do to complete and continue each dare.

Today's dare is going to be a challenge for me to push through but with lots of prayer I hope God will show me what I need to do to complete it and love my husband unconditionally.  I would appreciate any prayers for God's guidance.

Blessings,

Cyndee.
1/15/2010 7:15:14 AM
Emily United States
Emily
Wow, todays message really touched me.  I have been doing the love Dare by myself for my husband.  I am the one of us who is drifting away and believing he is not doing what he should in our marriage or letting me down.  Todays message just made it so clear that I am the one letting us down.  God has never let me go no matter how often or how much I make wrong choices.  He always loves me, and I should treat my husband that way.  Thank you K-Love and Love Dare for opening my eyes!!!!
1/15/2010 7:19:12 AM
Robyn United States
Robyn
What a thrill it is to wake up each morning anticipating the new Love Dare for the day.  I left the house while my husband was still in bed.  I took the time on the way out the door to write a small note to him on some cute note paper.  I just greeted him with a wonderful day and told him that I Loved him.  This itself is out of the ordinary for me as I usually would have just rushed out the door to work while he was still in bed and thought nothing of it.  While driving to work, I smiled to myself and wondered just what his first thought would be after reading the note.  It made me feel good inside to just stop and take the time to do this for him.

Thanks!  Once again for helping me put that smile on my fact.

Blessings to you all at KLOVE
Robyn
1/15/2010 7:29:19 AM
Rebecca United States
Rebecca
The Love Dare is working!  Yesterday my husband hurt my feelings by walking away from me while I was talking to him (he later apologized because he didn't realize he had done it) and normally I would have snapped a sarcastic remark at him for doing that or something along those lines and then later gotten upset when we would talk about it.  Instead I chose to bite my tongue and then later when he asked me what was wrong, I very calmly explained how I was feeling and like I said, he apologized. The whole situation unfolded in a totally different way than it normally would have simply because I chose to have a different reaction.

Then this morning I was supposed to be off of work, but because of the earthquake in Haiti, I had to come in to take care of some accountability issues.  I decided that I was going to swing by one of our local restaraunts and pick up some breakfast burritos for me and my co-worker, but something told me to call my husband and ask him if he wanted one (which I NEVER do).  So I called and he said that he would love one.  I brought him his burrito and he was so happy and thankful for it.  I hopped back in my car to drive to my office and Lisa and Eric started reading today's Dare and I laughed because I had already done it and I didn't even know what the Dare was yet!!  

God is Great!!!
1/15/2010 7:35:22 AM
Aubrie United States
Aubrie
Well I will have to be praying about what to do for today's dare since my husband and I are going to visit friends as soon as I get home from work for the rest of the night. I am really enjoying doing this without his knowledge, because it is bringing a change in me besides just each dare. Yesterday I cleaned up our bathroom that had gotten really nasty just because I had some free time. I could probably count that as doing today's dare, but I want to think of something new and be intentional about completing each one.
1/15/2010 7:40:40 AM
Jonique United States
Jonique
This is my second attempt at the Love Dare, which I started back in August. I made it to the 17 and then with life happened...put it to the side. We were just married in September and I want our marriage to start out with all the advantages available. I am ready to begin again and this time with KLove and others going through the journey together.

Today I'm picking up the house and finishing the laundry before heading off to work so that my husband can come home to a clean house. Since I normally do that I am also going to stop by his work on my way out of town to see him...that's out of ordinary for me/us.
1/15/2010 8:17:09 AM
traxxas stampede United States
traxxas stampede
Hi,

I just wanted to say how much I love reading your blog!

;)
1/15/2010 8:47:39 AM
yeny rosales United States
yeny rosales
JEN, MARIELA,and  everyone out there---- day 9 seemed to be hard. Just know and remember that we must put on a good FIGHT. We cannot GIVE UP!!!
Stay strong LADIES. I have been seperated for 5 years and have HOPE and trust in GOD that HE will restore my marriage. I am not GIVING UP!!! YOU aRE ALL IN  my prayers. Thank YOU LISA and Eric, I know this will be my biggest testimony. GOd is GOOD!!!!
1/15/2010 8:48:40 AM
yeny United States
yeny
LIKE everything else.... the beginning is always easier then the rest of the way..... DAY 10 HERE I COME ....
1/15/2010 9:15:52 AM
Kathy Siemer United States
Kathy Siemer
I want to thank Lisa & eric for passing this Love Dare challenge on to all their listeners. Last year after watching the movie Fire Proof, I wanted to buy the book Love Dare, but when I looked at it I felt like it was something for couple's whose marriages are in trouble. My husband and I are happily married,beside normal marriage problems, I felt like the Love Dare wasn't for us!HOW WRONG I WAS!!! I have been reaing and doing the daily challenges for my husband. It is AMAZING the amount of love I have not only for my husband, but the love that is pouring out to my 3 children. I am so grateful that I listened to my heart and decided to participate in the Love Dare. My home is so much more peaceful and joyful because of this. THANK YOU LISA & ERIC!!!!
1/15/2010 9:24:27 AM
Lisa United States
Lisa
I listen to Klove everyday!!!  I've been following the Love Dare challenge but hadn't joined because I didn't think it would be effective if only one of us in our marriage was doing the dare.  But last night I was angry with my husband and had decided that I was not going to speak to him today.  So as I listened to today's challenge, I wept.  Love is unconditional and I will love my husband unconditionally as I promised before God that I would.  Due to our schedules I won't see him that much today but he has been on my mind in a positive way all day as I think of something special I can do for him today.  I can't wait to call him on my lunch break just to say "I love you".  I thank Jesus for loving me unconditionally and I'm not perfect and I ask him to forgive me for my attitude.  I'd also like to say that even if you are the only one doing the dare in your marriage, it will be effective!!!!
1/15/2010 9:30:45 AM
julia United States
julia
i have a little story to tell you---my husband and i have been married for 18 years but 10 years of our marriage we tried to have a baby.  we went to 6 specialist and they all said the same thing your wife can have a baby but not by you.  my husband wanted to do invtro but i didn't---we did it anyway.  the pain, scarifice, mood swings and emotional roller coastor ride i went thru the invtro didn't work.  the doctor said you have two options get a donor or adopt.  needless to say, a donor WAS NOT the way my husband and i wanted to go--the desire to adopt was burning in my heart but i couldn't force my husband so i waited.  Now we have two beauitful daughters.  we adopted our oldest in jan 2003 and our youngest in feb 2007. i can honestly say it didn't at the time or even  now makes any sense as how we had the funds to do this-truly the hand of God was upon us.  the moral of my stroy is never let circumstances or anyone who is negative destroy what you have with your spouse.  it's okay to vent but becareful who you vent to because the person can put wrong thoughts in your head.  also remember the foundation of any marriage good or bad is CHRIST because He will guide you the right way.   THANKS FOR READING :0)  
1/15/2010 9:42:05 AM
Jessika Seibert United States
Jessika Seibert
I'm a 20 year old young lady, not married, but I find that following along with this Love dare is shaping me to be a woman of God so someday when I find my husband I can love him the way God would have me love him from the beginning.
1/15/2010 10:25:51 AM
heather United States
heather
does anyone have a good idea of something to do for the love dare today, when the spouse is not currently living in our house? we still talk and see each other, but things like cleaning the kitchen or folding the laundry won't work since he's not here.
1/15/2010 10:35:00 AM
jodi Canada
jodi
I have been following the 40 day challenge and I have been really encourage by it up to today. I am really struggling with the idea that if your spouse is no longer kind, you must still love them. Don't get me wrong, I understand that we must love mankind and I understand unconditional love; I have 2 children. But I don't believe that someone should stay in a marriage if there is abuse of any kind happening. I think you should try to do everything to change the situation and pray for God's healing touch on your marriage but if it doesn't change, I do not believe anyone should stay in an abusive marriage. What would you say to this?
1/15/2010 11:30:19 AM
vicky United States
vicky
Yes Jen do not give up...continue to show him unconditional love <3
1/15/2010 11:31:19 AM
Shel United States
Shel
Hang in there, Jen!  Bless all of you!  I am still having a rough time, as well, but you all encourage me.  We can all stick together in this and send up multitudes of prayer for each other and then watch God work.  I know with all that faith, we will all see something positive through this.
1/15/2010 1:04:14 PM
Letticia United States
Letticia
I love this one! I always wanted my husband to tell me why he loves me and i should be grateful that he does! period!! i know i love him, for nothing more than the feeling in my heart and that i want us to grow old together and be happy forever! thanks!
1/15/2010 3:07:28 PM
julia United States
julia
let me tell you a story--my husband and i have been married for 18 years, the first 10 years of our marriage we tried to have a baby.  we went to 6 different specialists and they all said the same thing your wife can get pregnant but not by you.  determined to move forward my husband wanted to go thru invtro but i didn't so we went thru it anyway.  the pain, scarifice, emotional roller coaster ride and still no baby.  the doctor gave us two options a donor or adopt.  there was no way we would do a donor but what a desire i had in my heart to adopt.  didn't want to force my husband he had to have the desire too.  in jan 2003 we adopted our first daughter and in feb 2007 we adopted our second daughter.  til this day i have no idea where the funds came from, but the hand of God was upon us.  the moral of the story is don't let cicumstances beyond your control determine your future.  it's okay to vent but be very carefull who you vent to--because someone that is nagative can stir you in the wrong direction.  give CHRIST a chance he loves you he will interceed for you and remember what the bible says He keeps your tears in a bottle, you are the apple in HIS eye, and He has a tattoo of you on both his hands.  :0)
1/15/2010 4:00:50 PM
VENNESSA ILG United States
VENNESSA ILG
I LOVE this!!! tHese love dares are amazing! Even thought I'm not married, I can still apply God's love to all those around me. And I can use these love dare's to prepare me for marriage! Smile
1/15/2010 4:02:07 PM
Julia Dee United States
Julia Dee
I married my high school sweetheart and we have been married for almost 16 years.  My husband is in Air Force and 3 children and 6 moves later have me feeling like our marriage has become some sort of business arrangement. My husbands's job is very demanding and also "demands" that I do a great deal in "support" of his position (not exactly by choice).  It has been very difficult to be a part of and contribute to something that I feel is tearing my marriage apart.  I do know that there is much more to it than just his job. There is so much tension and lack of communication. Many times I have felt that a deployment would be easier than our day to day life as we know it.  I have become bitter, resentful and numb.  I go through a roller coaster of emotions each day.  This has been the hardest year and a half of our marriage.  I feel that at the end of this assignment we will hardly know each other.  I am trying to turn this all over to God.  I can't go it alone anymore.  I can't cry myself to sleep one more night.  I have been trying to do the Love Dare along with K-Love.  It is so hard when you feel so alone, forgotten and last on the list.  I guess that is why they call it unconditional love...it is a love that is just that...LOVE!  I pray that I will continue in my efforts and that maybe I will feel loved once again.
1/15/2010 4:18:05 PM
Mayci United States
Mayci
When I first saw "Fireproof", I thought that the Love Dare was only for married people. I'm just a teenager, but I'm learning how I can apply the Love Dare in ever area of my life. I used to think that I needed to find the perfect husband, one who was all of the qualities that this day describes: handsome, funny, selfless, and devoted to God. Love is not based on these things, because they are not constant. And I'm also learning that it's not about what my future husband can do for me,but what I can do for him. I am learning already to become a good wife, and that begins with being a good sister, daughter, and friend. I am learning to be the woman God wants me to be, and this Love Dare is so helpful for getting my focus off of myself and on my Heavenly Father, my true Prince.
1/15/2010 6:13:13 PM
Leslie United States
Leslie
This is the first day I have read all the comments. I am praying for each and everyone of you. I cried reading the stories of all the marriages struggling, especially the ones with emotional affairs. Because I myself have been through that with my husband of 10 years. It has been a little over a year since we decided to stay together. It's been a rough and long road and just when I thought I was beginning to forget it. i found out he has talked to her recently and now this weekend she could possibly be at a football party we have been invited to. I have struggled all week with what to do or say. I give this to God  and that is very HARD for me because I'm a fixer. My husband is not a christian, but by my faith for 6 years, he attended church this christmas for the first time! Praise God for that each day! Now the devil has come to butt in. Please pray for this situation and me. I am so blessed and thankful that KLOVE has decided to do the Love Dare!!

Blessings and Love to Each of You,
Leslie
1/15/2010 6:25:03 PM
Michael Corbin United States
Michael Corbin
This is Michael Corbin one more time. Shira told me tonight that the reason she left (with our due any day baby) was just that she didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone anymore. It is nothing I have or Haven't done, she just changed her mind. I am at a loss. God is with me and has brought me through, of course now my dog is sick as well and i can't afford to bring him to the vet since i have had to get my own place and everything I need to live. He is all I have right now, and God seems to want to take him as well. My parents , who are on the other side of the country, are unavailable because my dad has esophageal cancer and my sister and her husband have a down syndrome child and another on the way(they are all living with my parents)leaving me out here where I came with my wife, alone . I am trying to turn myself fully over to Him. please keep us in your prayers.
1/15/2010 6:34:07 PM
Jenny United States
Jenny
Today's dare is so cool and so right. I have ALWAYS answered the question when my hubby asked "Why do you love me" by saying "I just do...I can't help it". I felt so awkward trying to come up with a reason....just wasn't right cuz he can't DO anything to make me love him or not. Now after almost 25 years...(Anniversary on Valentine's Day!!! even after two separations and almost divorce) He has said many times that I'm the only one in this WORLD who has ever loved him unconditionally (including his family).......It truly means a lot...and they do feel safe and loved and free to learn and grow...an awesome taste of God's unconditional love, which is so much more than we are capable of!) I am getting that in return now and it feels AWESOME!!
1/15/2010 7:06:34 PM
parker United States
parker
I have read Love and Respect (so many times) watched Fireproof, and really am glad to do this Love Dare with you.  i want to encourage everyone to do this even if you feel in your situation "how could it possibly work, my husband is in prison" Believe that With God Anything Is Possible, and that God will take what was meant for bad and turn it to good. God is my hope in this marriage knowing my husband hates me. I really am excited for what is to come and have this marriage that belongs to God, my husband Jim and myself. The miracle that is yours will give others hope.
1/20/2010 11:55:44 PM
V United States
V
I just heard about this love dare from a friend, funny. I listen to Klove but I didn't hear about this before. Anyway I'd like to start the love dare even late but I'm wondering if its pointless. I don't have much left to keep trying. I feel like I'm the only one trying. Its crazy how quickly things become so bad and how hard it is to try and even be nice to my husband anymore. Frown Prayers please. I want to have a better marriage, an unconditional love between us, but its really hard.
1/22/2010 7:09:35 AM
chris United States
chris
The love dare has helped me in so many ways. I might only be on day 10 but things are going so well. Never thought it could be this way. It has helped me and my wife a lot. I was on the way out the door and not for good reasons either. My wife told me about the dare so I went out that night and bought the book and things have been GREAT since we have started. Thanks klove and thank you to my wife Shelley to.
2/4/2010 12:23:46 PM
Debcst United States
Debcst
Day 10 was the best dare day since day 1, I finally realized why my past relationships failed, no uncondtional commitment from me, I only allowed friendship and sex to be the conditions based love. This is my 3rd marriage and his commitement for marriage has always been in his heart but the women in his life didn't. Through God all things are possiable and today he has changed changed me agape LOVE!
2/11/2011 4:29:05 AM
test United States
test
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