Feb 08 2010

Love Dare - Day 34

Love Celebrates Godliness


[Love] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth.  – 1 Corinthians 13:6


From the moment you close your Bible in the morning nearly everything else you’ll encounter throughout the day will be luring you away from its truths.  The opinions of your coworkers, the news coverage on television, your typical Websites, the various temptations of the day – all of these and more will be working overtime to shape your perceptions of what’s true and most desirable in life.


They’ll say that having a knockout wife who dresses to get other men’s attention is a good thing.  They say that bad language and immorality in the movies are fine for mature people.  They’ll say that church isn’t important in a person’s life.  They’ll say that we each must find God in our own way.


They’ll say a lot of things.  And they’ll say them so loudly and frequently that if we’re not careful, we can start believing that what they say is the way things should be.  We can begin valuing what everybody else values and thinking the way everybody else does.


But the meaning of “real life” changes dramatically when we understand that God’s Word is the ultimate expression of what real life is.  The teachings it contains are not just good guesses at what should matter.  They are principles that reflect the way things really are, the way God created life to be.  His ideals and instructions are the only pathways to real blessing, and when we see people following them in obedience to the Lord; it should cause us to rejoice.


What makes you the proudest of your husband?  Is it when he comes home with a trophy from the company golf tournament, or when he gathers the family before bedtime to pray together and read the Word?


What overjoys you the most in your wife?  Is it seeing her try a new painting technique in the children’s bedrooms, or seeing her forgive the neighbor whose dog dug up her plants?


You are one of the most influential people in your spouse’s life.  Have you been using your influence to lead them to honor God, or to dishonor Him?


Love rejoices most in the things that please God.  When your mate is growing in Christian character, persevering in faith, seeking purity, and embracing roles of giving and service – becoming spiritually responsible in your home – the Bible says we should be celebrating it.  The word “rejoices” in 1 Corinthians 13:6 carries the idea of being absolutely thrilled, excitedly cheering them on for what they’re allowing God to accomplish in their lives.


The apostle Paul, who helped establish and minister to many of the first-century churches, wrote in his letters how delighted he was to hear reports of the people’s faithfulness and growth in Jesus.  “We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brethren, as is only fitting, because your faith is greatly enlarged, and the love of each one of you toward one another grows ever greater; therefore, we ourselves speak proudly of you among the churches of God for your perseverance and faith in the midst of all your persecutions and afflictions which you endure” (2 Thessalonians 1:3-4).


The apostle John, who had walked closely with Jesus and became one of the main leaders in the early church, once wrote to his flock, “I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth” (3 John 4).


That should be what energizes us when we see it happening in our mate.  More than when they save money on the grocery bill.  More than when they achieve success at work.  Sometimes by accepting modern culture’s take on what to applaud in our spouse, we can even be guilty of encouraging them to sin – perhaps by feeding their vanity, or by letting boys be boys.


But “love does not rejoice in unrighteousness” – not in ourselves and not in our mate.  Rather, love “rejoices with the truth,” the way Paul did when he said to the Roman church, “The report of your obedience has reached to all; therefore I am rejoicing over you, but I want you to be wise in what is good and innocent in what is evil” (Romans 16:19).  He knew that the pursuit of godliness, purity, and faithfulness was the only way for them to find joy and ultimate fulfillment.  Being “wise” about holiness while being “innocent” about sin – remaining unjaded and uncompromising as we travel through life – is the way to win in God’s eyes.


And what more could we want for our wife or husband than for them to experience God’s best in life?


Be happy for any success your spouse enjoys.  But save your heartiest congratulations for those times when they are honoring God with their worship and obedience.


Today’s Dare


Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way.  Verbally commend them for this at some point today.


I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart.  (Psalm 101:2)



Click here to buy a copy of The Love Dare book.  

Click here for a free online journal for the full 40 day challenge.


Material taken from The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, copyright © 2009 by B&H Publishing Group. Used by permission.  Unauthorized reproduction in any format is strictly prohibited by law.




Comments (14) -

2/8/2010 7:04:26 AM
Onward and Upward United States
Onward and Upward
I have changed my call name because I don't feel so broken hearted anymore.  After confessions of infidelity we are moving onward and upward. God is carrying us because the world would say to walk away.  I don't think God wants us to end what we started so many years ago.

As a nurse though, reading through the other entries, Michael, with your wife just having given birth, please try to get some help. She may be experiencing a dramatic post partum depression.  Was she like that before birth?  Fatigue, fear and raging hormones may be driving her now. Pray for her, pray hard that she get medical assistance.  Do not file for divorce yet. I know that you want time with Zoe but when the health matters clear, you will be able to bond with her.  And if things work for you to get Shira back, Zoe will be able to know that she can always count on her dad, even when she does the unthinkable.  that is a bond for any dtr to treasure.

Just me, also, have you talked with the medical community about sex?  It is amazing the different things that can be done physically even when one partner is disabled.  Don't give up.  Make sure that you have gotten second opinions from different Christian counselors.  God made you, God made sex, God gave you your partner.  Maybe God is telling you to focus your priorities on him and then you will have the desires of your heart.  But make sure you are listening closely.  And remove the temptations of fantasy.  

Ok preached enough.  

I am planning to start over on day 1 after Valentines day.  Spouse and I have hurt each other for so long that I want to get in to really good practice habits before I will feel that I graduated.
2/8/2010 7:06:31 AM
Onward and Upward United States
Onward and Upward
KLove is playing HOld My Heart by 10th Avenue North.  Seems so appropriate after reading the postings

"One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand If
You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart "

2/8/2010 7:30:13 AM
Shanni United States
On February 04, I and my husband celebrated our ninth Anniversary and this was a great accomplishment on both parts.  The "Love Dare" challenge is so awesome and has me looking at things so much clearer.
This past summer my husband accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior and asked him into his heart, there is no greater joy then seeing my husband grow closer to God and his son!  See, I myself am still a baby in my walk as a Christian due to spending so many years on the fence, my husband’s walk has re-affirmed my walk as Christian and once again my eyes are open and they are not going to shut again.  
Thanks Lisa and Eric, I listen everyday!
2/8/2010 8:13:48 AM
Alexis United States
For me today's love dare is the most important yet. It is worded exactly how I am always trying to explain it to my fiance'. I too will start the Love Dare over and plan to buy the daily devotional as well. Thank you K-LOVE
2/8/2010 8:27:36 AM
free United States
one thing i love about my hubby is when we both read the bible and discuss it or when we all pray together as a family-and now i brought my oldest a bible so we can discuss scrpiture too-whats that saying? a family that prays together stays together-just one more thing the tv is evil-i taught my girls very young-never ever judge someone by there looks-seek their hearts-and to never judge themselves with how the girls look like on tv
2/8/2010 9:53:37 AM
free United States
michael-i agree with onward and upward-your also dealing with a controlling mother-in-law-she's the one that needs prayer too-also make sure zoe birth cert has you listed as the birth father-  because who knows what your mother-in-law might do next-with all of this said your still on my top ten list of people to pray for
2/8/2010 9:58:01 AM
Maybe we need a Love Dare Sequel?? LOL

Today's dare is easy..my husband puts our two kids to bed every night with prayers.  Sometimes I join and sometimes I don't.  I need to commend him for doing that every night and start joining in more often.

I looked at the Couples Devotional book last night. It has some contiuation of the dares I think..Just my opinion.

If you are considering it, you should also pick up a couple of journals for you and your spouse.  In one of the appendices of this book, there is a guide to how to do a devotional and it mentions a journal.  I didn't do a journal during love dare and kind of wish I had.

My dilema is whether we start on Day 1 or go to whatever day it is after the new year??? For example today would be like 39 or something.
2/8/2010 10:30:21 AM
just me United States
just me
I saw your post from #32.  You are not betraying your DH by seeking to gain wisdom that will improve your marriage!  I felt that way at first, especially when I consider the sensitive nature of our "issues".  Remember this, NONE of us are here to judge.  We are here to help each other.  If it feels too much like you are puttng your DH on display here, I would gladly chat with you privately.  tardcats4@yahoo.com   (I can explain the bizarre address!)
I feel the same way about using other men to build desire.  It doesn't feel right, probably because it isn't.  I can tell you now that we are only beginning.  I have had a few days of "pure" thoughts, but still find myself on auto-pilot, catching myself in another fantasy.  And not just when I'm rushed, but any time stress hits.  It is easier, and more fun, to think about a nice fantasy than about how that bill is going to get paid, right? When I catch myself lost in another dreamworld, I try to picture what my DH would think if he were watching the same "movie" in my head.  Then I imagine God watching too.  Makes me "embarrassed", even in my own head.
Feel blessed that you can talk to your DH about this.  And that DH is saved.  My DH was a follower of God, but a miscarriage followed by becoming disabled caused him to fall away.  He blames God.  I am praying that he and God come together again. I made my decision to not talk to him about my fantasies based on not wanting to hurt him (read "fear").  I am afraid he will not see this as a "growing" for me.  He would see it as another way God is to blame for giving him an adulteress.  I'm just going to do just as you....let go and let God.
2/8/2010 12:21:18 PM
cj United States
Onward and Upward,  that is so wonderful.  Praising Jesus!    I did not think you were preachy but had very good advice.  
2/8/2010 1:02:13 PM
Amanda United States
Thank you KLove, so much, for doing the Love Dare.  I have learned some amazing things about me and my capacity to open myself and allow God to work through me.  Also I have learned some truths about my husband.  I think that he has some past wounds and secrets that bind him from believing in himself and believing in unconditional love.  No matter what happens I will always know that I have given him everything I have and will continue to do so.  I heard someone say once that "To whom much is given, much is required."  I have been blessed with a wonderful life and now it's time to pour into the most important person on earth, my husband.  I am so glad to have been led to this station.  Again, thank you all so much for your sacrifice and God Bless you all!
2/8/2010 10:54:54 PM
Shel United States
I haven't really been on here as much as I was in the beginning.  I don't know, I am not talking to God as much either. I don't know what is going on. I don't know if it's becuase I am not feeling I have to do so much "warrior praying".  Today my husband was watching me outside in the snow with our dog. I thought he was asleep. He came to the door and told me I was beautiful. Then later he told me I was an amazing woman. He admitted that he is having a hard time forgiving himself for hurting me, that he feels like he hurt himself. I think this is a begining, but agian, I am just leaving it all up to God. My husband told me he loved me and will always, forever. He is still having a hard time dealing with himself. I told him to pray and that I am praying for him, too. I am going to start the love dare over. I think it is awesome! God Bless you all! Keep me in your prayers as I will all of you!
2/8/2010 11:09:31 PM
Yolanda United States
I have again picked up the Love Dare for the last two days after being discouraged for a week or so...I love my husband so dearly and today I am thankful that he is a man who loves Jesus. He is able to pass God's love to my daughter and I daily, and often puts himself after us! I will thank him for this!
2/9/2010 10:26:40 PM
Michael Corbin United States
Michael Corbin
Thank you, all of you who are praying. I need it more than ever, the stories of people reconciling after years was encouraging, but has become a horrible time hole, i really don't want Shira back. I don't see how I could ever trust her. She has stolen my daughter and so many memories and experiences and time that I can now never have and she knows it and she doesn't care. I know I have too since God said so, but I do not see how I can forgive her for what she has done. Nothing could be worse, and it shows me she never ment a word of her vows. and being lost, its doubtful her animalistic self centered sin mind could ever even begin to grasp that what she has done is wrong or care to change or in anyway repair the breech she has caused without direct intervention from God. Yet it seems He is guiding me away from Shira.
10/8/2010 11:24:19 PM
limesat ultra United States
limesat ultra
Great post, I have fun reading your blog.Post more.
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