Feb 12 2010

Love Dare - Day 38

Love Fulfills Dreams


Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.  – Psalm 37:4


What is something your spouse would really, really love?  And how often do you ask yourself that question?


Common sense tells us we can’t give our wife or husband everything they might like.  Our budgets and account balances tell us we probably couldn’t afford it anyway.  And even if we could, it might not be good for us.  Or for them.


But perhaps you’ve let “no” become too quick a response.  Perhaps you’ve let this negative default setting become too reasoned and rational, too automatic.  What if instead of dismissing the thought, you did your best to honor it.  What might happen if the one thing they said you’d never do for them became the next thing you did?


Love sometimes needs to be extravagant.  To go all out.  It sometimes needs to set aside the technicalities and just bless because it wants to.


Is that thinking too much like a teenager?  Is love like this no longer on the menu after so many years of marriage?  After all, with the way your relationship might be at the moment, wouldn’t it be less than genuine to indulge your spouse if your heart’s not in it?


Well, how about putting your heart in it.  How about developing a new level of love that actually wants to fulfill every dream and desire you possibly can.


Hasn’t God’s love met needs in your heart that once seemed out of the question?  You were living under such a load of sin and regret; you thought you’d never earn your way back into His good graces.  But He looked at you with love and said you didn’t have to.  He wanted you back.  He wanted you to realize your need for Him, and that as you repented and turned to Him, He would love and forgive you.  “God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ” (Ephesians 2:4-5).


You thought life was over when a certain setback took all the wind out of your sails.  You broke down and cried out to Him.  You prayed like you’d never prayed before.  And though it wasn’t easy getting back up and walking on, you somehow survived.  He met you with His promised peace “which surpasses all comprehension” (Philippians 4:7) and kept you on your feet.


It wasn’t when you were behaving like an angel that God chose to pour out His love on you.  It wasn’t when you were behaving like an angel that God chose to pour out His love on you.  It wasn’t because you were so deserving that He offered you His grace.  “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Chris died for us” (Romans 5:8).


He’s your model.  He’s the One your love is designed to imitate.  Though you weren’t a likely candidate for His love, He gave it anyway.  He paid the price.


Not everything your spouse wants has a hefty price tag.  Not everything he or she desires can be bought with money.  Your wife may really want your time.  She may really want your attention.  She may really want to be treated like a lady, to know that her husband considers her his greatest treasure.  She may really want to see in your eyes a love that chooses to be there no matter what.


Your husband may really want your respect.  He may really want you to acknowledge him as the head of the house in front of the children.  He may really want you to put your arms around his neck for no apparent reason, surprising him with a long kiss or a love note when there’s not even a birthday or anniversary to justify it. He may really need to know that you still think he’s strong and handsome, the way you used to.


·        Dreams and desires come in all shapes and sizes.  But love takes careful notice of each one.


·        Love calls you to listen to what your mate is saying and hoping for.


·        Love calls you to remember the things that are unique to your relationship, the pleasures and enjoyments that bring a smile to the other’s face.


·        Love calls you to give when it would be a lot more convenient to wait.


·        And love calls you to daydream about these opportunities so regularly that their desires become yours as well.


We dare you to think in terms of overwhelming your spouse with love.  To surprise them by exceeding all their expectations with your kindness.  It may or may not be a financial sacrifice, but it needs to reflect a heart that is willing to express itself with extravagance.


What is something your spouse would really, really love?  It’s time you started living out the answer to that question.


Today’s Dare


Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable.  Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.


God is able to make all grace abound to you.  (2 Corinthians 9:8)



Click here to buy a copy of The Love Dare book.  

Click here for a free online journal for the full 40 day challenge.


Material taken from The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, copyright © 2009 by B&H Publishing Group. Used by permission.  Unauthorized reproduction in any format is strictly prohibited by law.




Comments (8) -

2/12/2010 6:46:04 AM
Ashley Freeman United States
Ashley Freeman
it hard get along with my family i don't like my dad  
2/12/2010 7:19:47 AM
free United States
my husband was working for a great company for 18 years-great pay and great benefits-he was a project manager-he got bored and decided to become a field manager-the company gave him a truck, gas card, phone, computer, pager and boat load of money, but here is the catch, the hours and stress of the job was HIGH-hubby was looking at the benefits but i was looking at the STRESS-i told him please don't look at the benefits but look at the respondsiblity you will have-it was too late he made up his mind-3 days went bye on his new job and he realized he made a mistake-wanted to go back to his old job they froze his transfer-1 month goes bye he lost 25 lbs-forget about spending time with me and the kids-all of his time and energy went towards his work-phone calls at 1 or 2 in the morning-pager going off-for 1 year all i did was write him encouraging scriptures and pray morning,noon,and night-did i forget to mention-i lost count as to how many times we went to the er because he was having chest pains-finally the day came-he actually had a nervous break down-quit his job-and is now working for another company-he is over quailifed for the job and way under paid-i never told him i told you so because i am not that kind of person to rub his face in it-just kept on writing to him and praying for him-he knows he made a big mistake and beats himself up each and everyday-his dream is to have a great job with great benefits again-til this day i still write to him-my prayer is i want him happy,healthy,let go of the past,not talk about it anymore,and stops beating himself up everyday
2/12/2010 7:49:33 AM
Jeni DeSpain United States
Jeni DeSpain
Last year I took the Love Dare Challege for my new year resolution. My husband and I have been married for 3 1/2 years, have been together since 10 grade and are now 22 and 23 years old. From high school my husband went to college but was not sure what he was going for so he took up a full time job learning a trade. Part of this was because we wanted to get married and needed income to do so. He gave up his opprotunity at that time to go to school for me to fallow my dreams of going to beauty school and becomming a beautition. This was all happening right when the economy took a dump and needless to say for the past 3 years it has been really hard for me to start my business and make money. I know that he loves the company he works for but does not want to work in this trade forever..so when I got to this dare I knew what I could do.. I had a lot of dead time waiting around the salon between clients I knew could be used elsewhere..It took me a year to find it but I have found another job that works around my salon schedule and we are on the road to freeing up more of his time and financial pressure so he is able to open his mind to his dreams and fallow them. He gave me a huge opprotunity to chase my dream and now it is his turn Smile because of this love dare I was able to see what a great sacrafice he made for me and was able to figure out a way to help him reach his. Thank you guys for all you do and have a great love day! ~Jeni
2/12/2010 11:54:42 AM
Laura United States
Ashley, please send in a prayer request or find a good Christian friend to pray with you. I feel for you!
2/12/2010 9:51:58 PM
Adrienne United States
Hello. I love reading the Love Dare every day, even though I am just dating and not married. It helps me understand what a marriage should be like. I do feel like I need to comment, however, on the number of typos and duplicate sentences in the love dare information. I think there has been at least one print error every day when I view the information online. These have even been typos in the Bible verses. I know that none of us are perfect, myself included, but the errors tend to distract from the meaning and message. Thank you for all that you do. I listen to K-Love, get the encouraging word, and read the love dare every day. Thanks.
2/17/2010 7:17:31 AM
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2/17/2010 10:09:52 PM
Alva Beaman United States
Alva Beaman
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2/19/2010 1:33:12 AM
Lavon Parviainen United States
Lavon Parviainen
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