Share each others burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. – Galatians 6:2 NLT
When I was in youth group, my pastor encouraged us to join a small group. He emphasized the power of community in every sermon. It took a while, but I finally gave it a shot. Scared, anxious, and unsure, I slowly started to open my life to the men in my group.
There was one time when I shared my struggle with pornography. This was scary for me because I didn’t know how people would react. I was shocked to find out I wasn’t the only one. I felt encouraged, supported, and held accountable, which was exactly what I was looking for. I’ve heard many sermons on the value of community, but what made the difference in my life was taking part in it. We can find community by going to a football game, a concert, or the gym. However, as Christians, a godly community is more than hanging out.
Why are we so hesitant to commit to deepening our relationships? What held me back for the longest time was the fear of rejection and the fear of being found out. What if they knew who I really am? Will they accept me? These questions were racing through my mind for a long time. They prevented me from committing to relationships in the church. Maybe you’ve had a bad experience connecting (or not connecting) with other believers. If that’s you, let me share another story. Years after joining my first group, I began attending a different men’s group. This time, my experience was a painful one. I opened my life to the men in the group, and what I shared was used against me. At that moment, I had a decision to make. Would I quit on community? Would I ever give people access to my life again? It took me a while to heal, but now, I can say I am still in community, aiming to deepen my relationships.
Maybe you need to rebuild trust and give people a chance again, which might mean trusting others in small areas of your life. Remember, this takes time and patience. Rebuilding trust is hard, but well worth it.
The church is made up of messy people. We have to remember this as we seek to grow or rebuild our relationships. This process can take time and can also open every person involved to the possibility of being wounded by others. But it all begins with a step. Maybe it means asking a person to meet you for coffee or a sport you love to play. Taking that first step can often be the hardest thing to do. One thing is for sure, we are not made for isolation. All of us are wired for connection.
There is so much value in allowing others to speak into our lives. When we give people access to us, they might even call out blind spots. Sometimes, it might even mean correcting and steering us in the right direction. This takes humility and courage. Not only do you need people, but people need you as well. You have the opportunity to speak into people’s lives. Your unique experiences and insights are valuable! So, what’s the goal in all of this? To become more like Jesus! God will use people in our lives to help us heal, grow, and see the gifts He has given us.
What’s important to remember is that everyone has a unique story that can touch many lives. When we open our lives to others, we just never know how God will use what we share. God doesn’t waste stories. Every story matters, including yours. Take a step today and give community another shot.
Dig Deeper
1. What is the goal of deepening relationships?
2. What is your fear as you seek to deepen your relationships? What is one step you can take this week to face that fear?
