Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” – 1 Corinthians 15:33 NLT
Missionary Dating. Dating someone to bring the person to Christ. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? You may know someone successful with this method and think, if it worked for them, it would work for me too. But we must be on guard, even if it “worked” for someone else. We cannot allow an exceptional story to become a rule for life or alter what the Lord teaches us in Scripture. Therefore, we can’t “date evangelistically” hoping to be the force of change in someone else’s life for Christ. The Lord is clear on this through the apostle Paul.
Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? – 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 NLT
Christians are called and set apart by God for His work. The indwelling of the Holy Spirit and the call of Christ on our lives unites all believers together. We have a common purpose, morality, purity, and worldview that draws us together in Jesus Christ.
When we date, we start to share part of our hearts, making us vulnerable to another person. We invite them to know us in a way that is different from a coworker or a superficial acquaintance. So, when we are inviting someone who does not hold the same truths and standards we live by, we are taking a big risk.
We receive many calls from people who, tearfully, say things like, “She said he believed in God,” or “He said he would come with me to church.” Still, as an unbeliever, the other person brought their sin and rebellions into that relationship unchecked, and they were harmed by it. They thought their situation would be different, but now they are hurting, disappointed, and confused. So, our standard for a dating relationship needs to be high. They need to have an active and prominent relationship with Jesus.
This is what God wants and why He commands us to only be in a romantic relationship with another believer of the opposite sex. He wants to save us from hurt, sexual sin, abuse, and pain. So, we must be cautious whether we’re in a dating relationship or just friends.
Father, help me to trust in You more than my desires and emotions. Be my guide. Keep me safe. Help me securely establish my relationships in You and according to Your good will. I submit myself to You and You alone. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Ask Yourself the Following Questions
1. If I love God, am I willing to obey Him alone with my relationship choices?
2. Does this person say they “believe in God,” or do they actually follow Jesus wholeheartedly, without me having to push them?
3. Do they honor my desire to follow Jesus? Do they encourage me in Him?
4. Do they honor my physical, sexual, and emotional boundaries in Christ?
5. Do I see them involved in church, bible study, and service to others?
6. Is there fruit of God’s changing work in their life?
If you fall in love with “the wrong person” for the wrong reasons, it’s not too late to stop and do the right thing. If they aren’t walking with Him, they aren’t the right person, no matter what our hearts might say. If you would like to talk to one of our pastors about your situation, please feel free to give us a call at 800-525-5683.