Read the transcript from today's video devotional.
In 2018, beginning of the year, my wife found out that we were pregnant and we couldn't be more ecstatic. You go to the store and you buy the grandma and grandpa books and the onesies, and you start to tell close family and close friends, and it just feels like life can't bring you down. A couple weeks after that, my wife had a trip planned to fly out to some family in Colorado, and she was going to share the news with them.
She was a little nervous, understandably so, but she jumped on the plane and she made it there safe. Everything seemed to be going great, but a couple days in she called me out of the blue, just in complete tears. She could hardly breathe and I could barely make out her words. She just said, "Something's not right." And my heart sank.
I remember just sitting in silence for a few minutes. As a husband, you try to say the words that you think she wants to hear, and you pray the prayer and hope that God will answer it just the way you want. It was early on in the pregnancy, so all we really could do was pray and wait.
Walking Through the Darkness
She flew back home and went to her doctor and our worst fears were confirmed. She had miscarried. I remember the next couple of days just being a vortex of darkness. It just felt like the clouds had come in and there was a darkness that couldn't be shaken from us. We wanted to support each other, but we could barely hold ourselves up.
One night I asked her if I could go on a walk. I putzed around our neighborhood for what felt like hours, and I just cried out to God in this open field. I screamed at Him. I let every emotion out. The sky was filled with stars but it felt more empty than it had ever felt.
I just needed to hear somebody's voice, and I felt like if I wasn't going to hear God's, then I might as well hear my best friend. So, I called my childhood best friend, one of the few people that did know about the pregnancy, and I just began to cry. I let out some of that anger, and I found myself apologizing.
Words of Comfort
I remember the words that he shared with me that totally comforted me in a very supernatural way. He said, "Chris, it's okay to admit that things are hard. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to be angry. God's angry. This isn't what He wants for creation. But just remember that He's still with you and He still loves you."
That's the heart of our verse today, found in Romans chapter 8 and verse 39. The apostle Paul says, "No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."
God Is Closer Than We Think
I know I'm not the only one who has ever had these moments of feeling like God is distant or He's far off, or that we'll never hear His voice again. Romans chapter 8 reminds us that God has cleared every obstacle from receiving His love. When He feels distant, He is nearer than we could ever imagine. When He feels far, He is closer than we could ever hope for.
The God of the universe dwells with us through our heartache. He cleared the path by going through the worst tragedy of sending His Son to the cross so that He could be with us in our tragedies.
When God feels distant, I want you to remember that He's close. Take the time to clear your mind of distractions. Settle your heart. Take that slow breath in and back out and feel the Spirit moving in your life. God is with you and He loves you. Now and forever.
