I remember the changes the Holy Spirit began making in me after I dedicated my life to Christ. As I read the Bible, attended church, and learned more of the heart of God, I recognized that my friends no longer understood my new life. What I wanted to do, and what I wanted to watch, read, and listen to were no longer the same. There started to be a disconnect in my friendships and a weight that rested on me for their salvations.
Have you begun feeling that weight too? When you think about your circle of friends—those who you influence and who influence you—do you notice a drift beginning to happen that feels confusing and hard? If you’re in that place, I want you to know I understand, and I’ve been there before.
When we find ourselves in a place where our circles are shifting, it can cause confusion and an array of questions that pop into our hearts. Should I stop being their friend all together? Am I allowed to have close relationships with my old, unsaved friends? I don’t even feel like I have friends anymore…these are all so real.
So how do we navigate answering these questions by looking at the Word and asking the Holy Spirit for guidance?
Here are two important things to remember.
1. We should know people who don’t know Jesus.
We see clearly through the life of Jesus that He and His followers were often around sinners. Matthew 5:14-16 says, “You are the light of the world – like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your Heavenly Father” (NLT).
Jesus Himself says that He came not to call the righteous, but sinners (Matt. 9:13). Our hearts should be burdened to show the love of Jesus to those who don’t know Him. We should be able to love our unsaved friends and point them to the truth of the Gospel. We should share the Good News and testimony of Jesus’s death on the cross and resurrection every chance we get! If you’re burdened for your old friends, that’s a good thing!
2. We should anticipate our circle of influence will change.
While early believers were clearly active in places filled with those who did not believe in Jesus, they were also dedicated to gathering as the body of Christ. In Acts 2, we see that they broke bread together in their homes, they shared everything so that all were taken care of, and they were connected as members of the Church.
This reminds me of the “3 Circles” theory of relationships. There are some people in our “inner circle,” meaning they influence you and you influence them. Then there are people in your “middle circle” and your “outer circle.” There may be some shifting of circles going on in your life. Your old friends may no longer be the people you run to for advice now—and that’s okay!
Let the Holy Spirit begin to bring new friends into your life. Build new friendships and connections in your church while you continue to love and pray for your old friends, showing them what joy and freedom there is when walking with Jesus.
I know that as you yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit, God will not only bring new people into your life, but He’ll also begin working in the hearts of the old friends into your life. He will bring together the new and the old in a beautiful way you may have never expected.
A Prayer for Changing Friendships
Heavenly Father, You know the shifting that’s been occurring in my friendships and my circle now that I’ve been seeking You. God, will you continue to give me wisdom as these shifts happen? Help me to continue to love my old friends, pray for them, and show them what it looks like to follow You with joy, peace, and freedom. Help me to point them to You. As I begin growing in my friendships with other believers, bring the right ones around me. Bring friends that will encourage me in my walk with Jesus. Amen.
