I am suffering and in pain. Rescue me, O God, by Your saving power. Then I will praise God’s name with singing, and I will honor Him with thanksgiving. – Psalm 69:29-30 NLT
David, the author of this psalm and many others like it, had some pretty rough nights. Nights where all he could do was cry out to God, helpless to save himself. In Psalm 6, he says, “I am worn out from sobbing, all night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears” (6:6 NLT). In Psalm 88, he says, “My eyes are blinded by my tears. Each day I beg for Your help, O Lord; I lift my hands to You for mercy” (88:9 NLT).
I don’t know about you, but I can relate. The rawness of David’s poetry has been a huge comfort to me through many, many sleepless nights.
Here are a couple key lessons we can learn from David in these psalms. I pray they help you as much as they’ve helped me.
1. We can be unabashedly honest.
Sometimes we feel like we have to put our best foot forward when we come before God. We don’t think we can’t show Him our mess, or let Him find out how much we struggle with a certain sin, or admit how upset we are over our circumstances, because we’re afraid it’ll make Him think less of us—or even worse, it’ll provoke His anger.
Well, newsflash: God already knows.
Psalm 139:1-2 says, “O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away” (NLT).
Whatever we think we’re hiding from Him, we’re not. That should not be a scary thought. It should be a freeing thought. Because He knows it all—knew it all, from the very beginning of creation—and He still chose you. He still died for you. He still loves you with an everlasting, unconditional love. Verse 17 says, “How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!” (139:17 NLT). There is nothing you could do to earn that, and there is nothing you can do to lose it, either.
David, in all his imperfections, was a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14). So take a page out of his book and just tell God everything you’re feeling. Yes, He already knows, but He still wants you to tell Him. He wants you to bring your full self before Him, holding nothing back. He can handle all of your emotions, even the hard ones. Nothing takes Him by surprise, and none of it will make Him love you any less. Rest in that.
2. We should sing His praises—always.
What I’ve come to learn through reading the psalms is how deeply David understood the relationship between lament and worship. He wasn’t afraid of being honest with God—but he also continually acknowledged that God is worthy of worship, even in the darkest moments.
I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve been kept awake by anxiety and panic. Nights where I’ve prayed, cried out to God, asked Him to just let me fall asleep—all to no avail. And then, out of the blue, a song will pop into my head. Usually when this happens, it’s an old hymn like “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” or “As the Deer.”
I’ll try to ignore the hymn, frustrated that I now have yet another thing stuck in my head. I don’t want to sing, I’ll think. I’m not in the mood. Honestly, God, I’m kind of annoyed that you won’t just knock me out right now. I’ll try to push past what I know the Holy Spirit is leading me to do: remember who God is and worship Him, even if I don’t feel like my heart is in the correct posture to do so.
This is why Psalm 69 is such a balm to my soul.
I am suffering and in pain…I will praise God’s name with singing, and I will honor Him with thanksgiving.
David was singing praises to God while he was actively suffering and in pain. Maybe he didn’t feel like it. Maybe he didn’t even believe, in that moment, the words he was singing. But he sang anyway, which means I can, too. And whether I feel like it or not, whether the words feel true in the moment or not, doesn’t change the fact of who God is. He is worthy to be praised at all times. He is good at all times. He loves us at all times.
So in those moments when the night feels impossibly long and dark, and sleep won’t come no matter what you do, maybe you just need to refocus your attention back onto God. Maybe you just need to start singing, under your breath, even if you can’t muster up much conviction behind the words. Just do it anyway. Let the faith of generations of past believers bolster your own. Let God’s unchanging truth minister to and calm your anxious heart. Worship the One who is worthy to be praised.
