So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy. – John 16:22 NLT
Imagine you’ve just spent three years walking beside Jesus, day-in and day-out. Sharing meals, sharing laughter, sharing a mission. He’s comforted you, refreshed you, seen you. He’s loved you in a way no one else ever has before. He’s not only your Savior, but a close personal friend.
And then He tells you He’s going away.
The disciples didn’t even seem to understand what Jesus meant when He told them He was leaving: “Some of the disciples asked each other, “What does He mean when He says, ‘In a little while you won’t see Me, but then you will see Me,’ and ‘I am going to the Father’? And what does he mean by ‘a little while’? We don’t understand” (John 16:17-18 NLT).
I can’t fathom what a devastating moment that must’ve been for them.
What If I Can’t See the Light at the End of the Tunnel?
If you’re going through heartbreak right now, I’m so sorry. There’s no other pain like it. It’s hard. It’s confusing. It’s lonely. Maybe you see a pinprick of light in the distance, but it’s so unbearably far away it feels more like an insult than a comfort.
Or maybe you don’t see any light at all, and you’re wondering if this ache in your chest will ever ease. In those moments, sometimes the worst possible thing to hear from someone who isn’t in the heartbreak with you is that it’ll get better. Okay, when? you think. How?
Your Time of Grief
Another translation of verse 22 reads, “Now is your time of grief.” I love that. I love how Jesus was giving His disciples the space and time to grieve. In fact, a few verses beforehand, He says, “I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn over what is going to happen to Me…You will grieve…” (16:20a NLT).
Notice how Jesus didn’t say, You shouldn’t grieve, because you’ll see Me again. He knew His friends would grieve the loss of Him, that they would weep and mourn because they were losing someone they knew intimately and loved deeply. Even though the promise of future joy is guaranteed (“...the world will rejoice...your grief will suddenly turn to wonderful joy,” 16:20b), it doesn’t make the heartbreak of right now any easier.
Jesus was leaving. For three years the disciples had His physical presence with them. But that was going to be taken away, and they were going to have to deal with all the sadness that absence caused. Yes, He was promising to return. The disciples had the promise of future hope—but they didn’t know when. So what did Jesus do? In all compassion and understanding, He gave them permission to just…be sad.
Now, you grieve. Full stop.
Grief is a necessary and healthy process when you’ve lost something important to you or someone you loved. But it’s just that—a process. Not something to ignore or rush through or will your way out of. And everyone’s process is going to look different. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to getting through heartbreak. So have grace for yourself, and don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s.
Man of Sorrows
That other part, that future joy—it’s coming. Don’t lose heart. But if you’re not there yet, that’s okay. If you’re so far off from joy that it’s too painful to even think about, that’s okay.
Just remember: Jesus is with you, always. Psalm 34:18 says that God is “close to the brokenhearted” (NLT). He also knows grief. Isaiah 53:3 calls Jesus a “Man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief” (NLT). Sometimes the best possible thing is to simply sit with someone who knows grief. So let Him sit with you. Let the Comforter wrap you in His loving embrace. Take a deep breath. And then another. And then another. You don’t have to think any further ahead than that.
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever. – Psalm 73:26 NLT
