Day 29 – Read Proverbs 29
Attack Problems, Not People
Ever been arguing with someone, when suddenly your phone rings? You pick it up and politely say, “Hello!” The person on the other end of the phone asks, “How are you?” and you sheepishly say, “Doing great!”—though your emotions are still flowing with heat from the conflict. I confess this has happened to me.
What are we doing in that moment? We're controlling our anger. The encouraging truth is, no matter how hard it is…we can control our anger.
Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back. – Proverbs 29:11 NLT
Anger is something we all deal with. Sadly, anger has shattered marriages, estranged family members, ruined Christmas, and strained long-standing friendships. How can we control our temper instead of letting it controlling us? Here are three strategies that disarm anger and direct its passion for good.
1. Know your anger type.
Some of us get angry and blow up by raising our voices and waving our arms. Others clam up and silently internalize their anger. We might sit in the corner or withdraw to our room, but the person who clams up is just as upset as the person who blows up.
Apply these two remedies based on what type of anger you experience most often. First, instead of blowing up, calm down. A gentle answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1). Second, instead of clamming up, care for what the other person thinks (Philippians 2:3-4).
2. Attack the problem, not the person.
In Ephesians 4:26-27, Paul writes, “And 'don’t sin by letting anger control you.' Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”
Instead of letting anger control us, let’s handle it by attacking problems, not people. Replace “It frustrates me when you...” statements with problem-solving statements like, “When you said this, I heard you say…is that what you meant?” Attacking the problem can reduce tension and produce more hope and joy.
3. Come to Jesus for grace and healing.
We have all groveled after a bad argument. We feel loaded with guilt at how our words hurt our spouse and family. Take it all to Jesus. Confess it to Him. He loves you and died for all your frustration sins. His grace is more than significant.
Let’s love others, attack problems, and leave anger in the rearview mirror.
Dig Deeper
1. Identify your anger type. Do you have the tendency to blow up or clam up?
2. Attacking problems and not people is a crucial remedy. What’s one way you can attack problems, not people this week?
