“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. – Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Christ the Cornerstone
What comes to mind when you think about family? In a recent study done by Barna Research Group, the only recurring theme for the typical family in the United States is that there is no typical. Single parents, blended families, extended family living in the home––the idea of family has taken on a new meaning.
But what hasn’t changed is the foundation for any family to grow in unity and godliness. The apostle Paul wrote, “Together, we are His house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus Himself. We are carefully joined together in Him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord” (Ephesians 2:20-21 NLT). If we are to raise up households of people who honor God with their whole selves, it begins with setting your family––whatever that might look like––on the unshakable foundation of Jesus.
The Shema––a Call to Listen
“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone.”
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 is a Jewish prayer called the Shema, named after the first word in the prayer: “Listen” or “Hear.” This is a call to slow down and reflect deeply on the following commands. With each line of the prayer, God’s people are drawn deeper into their relationship with the Lord.
As we work through each line of the Shema, take the time to see how one piece connects to the next. Look at the process of building a strong family foundation like a puzzle––assembling each piece one at a time as you watch the whole picture fill in. The house only stands if the foundation is firm (Matthew 7:24-27), so take your time, embrace a mindset of grace along the way, and trust that God will provide what is necessary to raise a godly family.
5 Elements for a Strong Family Foundation from the Shema
1. Love the Lord with Your Entire Being
“And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.”
Love does not grow out of obedience, but obedience will grow from love. God is our loving Father. Not because we obeyed well enough to gain His approval. We are His children simply because He loves us and wants it to be so (1 John 3:1). He did everything necessary to adopt us through the sacrifice of Jesus.
It is from this relationship that we begin to grow in obedience. When we understand that God’s love is the motivation for His commands––teaching us to live in the best way possible––we will see what good comes from listening.
But we must love the Lord with our entire beings. Our hearts, souls, and minds must all be aligned with His. We must keep nothing back from Him, because it’s in our surrender that God can begin to renew our minds, restore our hearts, and transform our souls.
As a family, you are called to stir one another up to love––the kind of love that can only flow from first experiencing Christ’s love for us (1 John 4:19). Find ways to grow in love for God. Get into a rhythm (like every evening at dinner) of sharing how God is working in your life, one thing you’re thankful for, or a Bible verse that has been encouraging you.
2. Commit to Godliness
“And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.”
Growing in godliness is a mutual endeavor. Sit down as a family and talk about what it looks like to commit yourself to being a house of prayer and worship, honoring God, and building your family on the unshakable foundation of Jesus.
It’s best to view godliness not as a set of “do’s” and “don’ts” but as a lifestyle—a way of viewing the world and responding to it, a lens through which we base our decisions. Godliness comes through deeply understanding the beauty of God’s way over our way and taking steps to leave aside the latter for the former.
You won’t be perfect––and you should address that ahead of time. Commitment means that, even when you fall short of the goal, you lift one another up and keep pressing on.
3. Teach Your Family Diligently
“Repeat them again and again to your children.”
Learning new lessons from the Bible isn’t a “one and done” deal. Think of how many times someone has said something to you that went in one ear and out the other. Not because you didn’t care, but because your mind was having trouble holding on to the thought. What do you do when that happens? You ask the person to repeat themselves.
Hearing something multiple times helps us internalize it. When we do this with Bible learning, it helps us avoid swiftly moving from lesson to lesson, and instead reminds us to sit and connect with a concept before moving onto the next.
At first, it may seem repetitive (because in a sense, it is). But shifting your mindset from “repetition” to “diligence” will help reframe your perspective of the end goal. Diligence to repeat God’s Word makes it second nature to us. It solidifies our understanding of who God is and how He works. And the more we understand that, the more we can apply it to our lives.
4. Keep the Conversations Going
“Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”
Bible learning isn’t a one-way street. It’s important that we establish two-way communication where everyone is confident in having conversations about what they’re learning. This can be promoted through fun family practices like a “question of the day” or a time built into your schedule to bring all of your questions about God and the Bible to the family so you can talk about them together.
If it seems like anyone in the family doesn’t feel comfortable talking about the Bible (or in some cases, are opposed to it), create a safe environment for them to share why they feel that way. Don’t berate them or get angry with them. Your job is to clear obstacles as you show the compassion, grace, mercy, and love of Jesus. Modeling those attributes will speak more to those family members than any words ever will.
5. Keep God Central
“Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
What we center our lives on will influence every area of our lives. It will play a part in how we think, speak, and act. Whatever we truly believe (and not just say) is most important to us will be evident in how we live our lives.
Is God central in the life of your family? How could someone outside of your family tell?
There are two areas to pay attention to as you answer these questions:
i. What do I hold most tightly?
ii. What do I surround myself with?
We hold tightly to the things we find the most value in. For some, it’s their schedules, financial stability, relationship, or any number of other things that help them feel safe or secure. When we value God above all else, we will hold most tightly to our relationship with Him and how we interact with Him (namely through the Bible and prayer). No matter how hectic, difficult, or confusing life becomes, we can hold tightly onto God and His promises to get us through.
We surround ourselves with the things we find the most joy in. Think about how you fill your free time––the moments (even if they’re rare) when you have no other responsibilities. Who do you spend it with? What do you choose to do? We will naturally fill these empty spaces with what we believe will bring us the most joy. For you, is that the perceived joy of distraction that comes through scrolling on your phone? Or maybe working on that home project to bring you one step closer to being your dream home? If our joy is in the Lord, we will surround ourselves with things that make us feel closer to Him.
Raising a Godly Family
Raising a family to love God is an honorable mission—one that comes with pitfalls and defeat, but also celebrations and the greatest victories. Don’t fret the road ahead. God will lead you on the path your family needs to be on. Seek Him above all else, and He will give you what you need.
Teach your family to find contentment and satisfaction in God, loving Him with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. Diligently teach and talk about God and His Word. Hold closely to Him as the most valuable part of your life and surround yourselves with all of the things that draw you closer to Him.
The world may be unstable, but your family can build a house on a firm foundation that stands strong through anything thrown its way.
Additional Scriptures
So let's stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall. – Romans 14:13 NLT
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. – Colossians 3:13 NLT
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT
Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil…Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. – Ephesians 4:26,29 NLT
Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. – Colossians 4:6 NLT
