Forgiveness is among the chief virtues of our Christian life. Central to the message of the Gospel is that God forgives us through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, and this is one major source of our joy—that we are forgiven and set free from the weight of our sin. The blood of Jesus washes us clean, and this leads to endless hallelujahs! The beauty of the words of Jesus in Luke 23:34, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing,” echo through eternity.
Misconceptions About Forgiveness
And yet, even though forgiveness is a prominent theme in our faith, we often misunderstand what forgiveness truly is. It is due to this misunderstanding that people so often fail to forgive. They see forgiveness as a sign of weakness…or they see it as “letting their offender off the hook.”
Both notions are way off base. Forgiveness cannot be a type of weakness, because our Lord Jesus is forgiving and He is the all-powerful, almighty King! And the idea that forgiveness is letting someone off the hook is logically incoherent, because the fact that you must forgive them means they did something wrong.
What Is Forgiveness?
So, what is forgiveness, really? This may sound nerdy, but let’s look at the original Greek that the New Testament was written in. There are a handful of Greek words that get translated in our English Bibles as “forgiveness.” The most common of these—found in the Lord’s Prayer (Matthews 6:12)—is aphiemi, which literally means “to send forth.” It can also carry the idea of yielding something, leaving something, or letting something alone.
When we forgive the person who has offended us, we are “sending away” the hurt or “yielding up” the offense. We are “leaving alone” the problem that was caused. This sets us free from stewing on the issue, from harboring bitterness in our hearts, and from being overtaken by anger and frustration. When we forgive others, our own hearts become free. We are “sending it away” so that we’re not burdened by it and constantly festering on it in our own minds.
Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation
It also means that we are not putting energy into expectations that the other person will try to make it right. If they do want to make it right, praise God—that would be what we call reconciliation.
Forgiveness though, in and of itself, holds no expectations. We send forth the pain, the bitterness, and the hurt. And we are free from thinking about it—not only the offense itself, but from hoping or expecting the other person to try to “fix it.” This is important. Many people get into a prison cell of “unmet expectations” and it causes them mental anguish. Forgiveness spares you from allowing yourself to spiral into that type of mental space.
Forgiven, Forgiving
Finally, forgiveness is Christlike. We are told in Colossians 3:13 to forgive as the Lord forgave us. In our spiritual life, we are called to follow Jesus. He is the forgiving Savior, and therefore we ought to be forgiving people.
Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is always worth it. In practicing forgiveness, we become more like Jesus. And in practicing forgiveness, we discover it heals our hearts. Forgiveness is the medicine that cures bitterness and anger. So praise God, that by His Spirit, we can forgive.
A Prayer for Forgiving
Almighty God, thank You for showing us what forgiveness looks like. We see Jesus on the cross, His body and blood sacrificed for us, and we know that by this work on the cross our forgiveness is secure. Help us to forgive others. Help us to be Christlike in this way. And may it have a holy effect on our own spirits, by relieving us from any bitterness trying to cling to our heart. We love You, Jesus, and pray in Your name. Amen.
