Read the transcript from today's video devotional.
Are you a people pleaser? If you say no, it's okay. As we work through our Verse of the Day, I’d love for you to consider what your answer truly is.
Galatians chapter 1, verse 10 says, "Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant."
Looking at our Scripture—isn’t Paul being so transparent? He's saying, if I were actually trying to please people, I wouldn't even be a follower of Jesus. That is authentic. That is being fully transparent.
A Personal Journey with People Pleasing
I want to share something vulnerable that I used to struggle with a long time ago. I struggled with people pleasing and I had a difficult time having confrontational conversations. If there was something that I needed to talk to somebody about, whether I did something wrong or they did something wrong, I couldn't do it. I struggled with that.
The turning point was for me wasn’t reading some book on how to handle confrontation, or why confrontation was necessary. I know there's great books on this now. It was simply practicing scripture, wanting to please God. Matthew chapter 18—if somebody has done something wrong or you have an issue with somebody, go to them and talk to them about it. I found the more I practiced that, because I simply wanted to please God and follow His Word, knowing that God has the right thing in place, that actually completely changed how I addressed dealing with other people in confronting situations. It wasn't because I wanted to. I don't like the awkwardness of difficult conversations, but now I don't shy away from them at all. Why? Because I want to please God. I know if God says, this is the best way to do this, I want to please Him. I have found that it actually plays out 100 times better than what I ever used to see those types of situations and how they would play out.
The Challenge of Pleasing People in Key Relationships
There are certain relationships and situations, as we reflect on this verse about not being people pleasers, where you almost can't help but have this sort of dynamic. For example, you have a boss, I'm sure, or if you're married or in another relationship, or it could be a friend or coworker. There's certain dynamics where you desire to please them. Part of it is you kind of have to because it's your boss, your spouse, or someone else that's significant in your life.
You have to be very cautious of this. I hope we can have this moment to be candid, because you have to be cautious with those times, because in doing so with your desire, no matter what the relationship—be it a spouse or anything else—you can have one of two things happen. One, you're actually desiring or seeking a response. For example, you may be trying to please your boss so that you get a promotion, better pay, or something else. All of a sudden our performance can be dictated or predicated on whether you believe they deserve it. That could be, again, a boss, a spouse, or a friend.
Performing for an Audience of One
That's why this is so important. I hope you capture this: our focus should truly be on pleasing God. That's why we echo the verse in 1 Corinthians chapter 10, verse 31: "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." If we are truly being a performer to One, and that is God, focused on pleasing God by our performance and by our behavior, then it's not expectant on how people respond to us, or what our performance is going to do to enhance them, or the disappointment of how they respond to our performance. We know we're performing to our audience of one, and we know that if we truly perform and seek to please God, we know that He will cause our behavior, our performance, to actually impact others in a more dynamic, powerful, and eternal way.
When I said at the beginning, you may say, I'm not a people pleaser. Well, you know what? The dynamic is actually pleasing people or pleasing God. Guess what? If we're not, we can say I'm not a people pleaser, but actually we could be seeking to please ourselves, which is still pleasing a person rather than pleasing God.
I would just ask you to take some time today and reflect. Are you seeking to please our Lord and Savior today? Is that your focal point? Because if it is, He calls us to perform at a different level where it's not contingent on others or where we're at or how we feel, but it's on what He is calling us to do. Today, I pray that God will be with you as you seek to please Him.