Marriage is a relationship between a pair of imperfect people learning to grow into the image of Jesus. Because God has showered us with grace, love in marriage shares that grace with our spouse. We know love isn't just an emotion, but a choice we make every day. Marriage is meant for one man and one woman to be bound to Christ for life. It's a covenantal and celebrated relationship that should ultimately reflect Jesus Christ's glory. Here are five steps for maintaining a healthy marriage.
1. Keep healing yourself. Hurt people hurt people—but healed people heal people. None of us is perfect, but with the help of Jesus, we have the ability to grow and change for the better.
2. Trust God to build your house. The Bible says in Psalm 127:1, "Unless the LORD builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the LORD protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good" (NLT). This doesn't mean you don't have to do hard work, but it does mean that when your foundation is built on God, you can always trust Him to provide for your needs and strengthen your marriage.
3. Pray for your marriage. Praying together is the most important thing you can do as a couple. Invite your spouse to pray with you, maybe at the start of the day, so you can go forth unified as a couple and centered on God.
4. Embrace God's attitude about marriage and divorce. The Bible says that when two are united in marriage, they are no longer two but one (Genesis 2:23-24; Mark 10:8), and God hates divorce. Therefore, you and your spouse are "one," even in challenging seasons.
5. Surround yourself with a healthy Christian community. Encouragement through hard times works in both directions. When we are healthy, we can encourage others. When we struggle, they can help us. A healthy church family and genuine Christian friendships can help foster a thriving marriage.
Below are some scriptures to help you know what God says about our roles in marriage and the nature of that covenant relationship. If you want prayer or to talk about your current situation, feel free to call the pastoral care team at 800-525-5683.
Additional Scriptures:
Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and He brought her to the man. "At last!" the man exclaimed. "This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called 'woman,' because she was taken from 'man.'" This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. – Genesis 2:22-24 NLT
"Haven’t you read the Scriptures?" Jesus replied, "They record that from the beginning 'God made them male and female.'" And He said, "This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” – Matthew 19:4-6 NLT
Now regarding the questions, you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. – 1 Corinthians 7:1-4 NLT
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. – Ephesians 5:21-26 NLT
“Give honor to marriage and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” – Hebrews 13:4 NLT
