This is part 2 of a 3-part series. View the entire series here.
Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. – Ephesians 4:2-4 NLT
These days, perhaps more than ever before, we’re being told how important it is for our mental wellbeing to establish and hold firm to personal, professional, and social boundaries.
But we are relational beings. We were not created to do life alone, ignoring the needs and presence of others in favor of “protecting our peace.” In Genesis, God looked at His “very good” creation and noticed one glaring, “not good” thing: Adam living alone with no companion suited to him (Genesis 2:18).
Elsewhere in the Bible, we see the emphasis placed on living together with others:
- “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9 NLT
- “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way fulfill the law of Christ.” – Galatians 6:2 NLT
- “So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.” – 1 Corinthians 12:24-26 NLT
The problem with a boundary-setting mindset is that living in community is often inconvenient. Your friend may call you for advice in the middle of the night because their baby is sick and you’ve raised three healthy kids of your own. Maybe your elderly neighbor needs a ride to the airport on your one night off, which you had planned to spend watching TV on the couch.
This is not to say we do away with boundaries altogether. We should always be cautious about overextending ourselves, and we certainly don’t want to let people walk all over us because we’re too afraid to speak up for our needs. There is an appropriate time and place to hold firm to boundaries.
But living in community sometimes means sacrificing a bit of your time and energy to serve the people God has placed in your circle of influence. Philippians 2 says, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too” (vv. 3-4 NLT).
It’s a privilege to get to love others this way! Jesus Himself lived in community. He traveled, ate, slept, laughed, grieved, and prayed with His disciples and the many other people who walked alongside Him during His ministry on earth. He invited the uninvited. He bent down to serve the unloved, the overlooked, the ignored. So when we follow Jesus’ example, we “have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had” (Philippians 2:5 NLT).
And the beautiful thing is that your community doesn’t have to be (and, in fact, shouldn’t be) limited to your small group at church or your work friends. Your community also includes your next-door neighbors, the young family you see at the grocery store every week, the man who cuts your hair, the dentist who’s cleaned your kids’ teeth for years. Some of these people will know you with greater depth than others, but anyone you see and interact with on a regular basis is a part of your circle and provides an opportunity for you to be a light and share the love of Jesus.
So find like-minded people (and maybe some non-like-minded people as well!) to share in the joy, grief, pain, confusion, and delight of everyday life. People with whom you can celebrate wins and acknowledge growth. Be willing to get vulnerable, ask for help, express hurt, and have hard conversations.
This is part of God’s purpose for your life. It’s not easy, but it is a gift to be able to live life in step together. When we do so, we are reflecting—albeit in an imperfect way—God’s future Kingdom, a place where all His children will live in harmony forever.
