70% of children in the foster care system shouldn’t be there at all.
That is both the belief and the mission for Safe Families for Children (SFFC) of New York City. The organization points to roughly two-thirds of foster cases that stem from neglect, rather than abuse, and sees it as a call to action.
If most foster children are thrust into the system as a direct result of parents’ isolation and lack of resources, it follows that providing them with targeted support would remove the need for state involvement entirely.
Safe Families NYC has done just that, serving more than 300 families since the chapter’s inception in 2015. 99% of the families they have cared for have avoided foster involvement.
“Rather than being hurt, [these foster children] had parents who loved them, cared about them, but were overwhelmed and under-resourced,” Alex Tindal Wiesendanger, director of Safe Families NYC, said.
“Why are we doing that to thousands and thousands of kids who really don’t need to be there, when we could instead support those families? That’s where our real commitment and heart for this particular group of God’s children came from.”
Wiesendanger’s heart for serving such parents became a personal one after he and his wife, Sharaya, adopted two foster children.
The pair are examples of those who needed to be in the system in order to escape real abuse, but the process uncovered the hidden gap between the system and struggling parents who simply lacked a stable foundation.
Dr. Dave Anderson founded SFFC in 2003 on the premise that the foster care system, historically overwhelmed, was only equipped to address broken homes after they shattered. Who would step in before the walls crumbled?
“An avalanche begins when there’s one extra snowfall, or one hiker takes one wrong step, and one pebble falls the wrong way,” Wiesendanger explained, using the metaphor to paint the reality of many. “Our job is stopping avalanches before they start.”
In a place like New York City, pressure can build quickly for parents, often struggling to hold the pieces together by themselves.
Anonymity in a sea of 8.5 million faces can compound the cracks that begin via domestic violence, homelessness, and health crises.
Safe Families serves struggling parents by providing practical and relational support, each pillar complementing the other.
The practical support includes temporary housing, aiding in household work or errands, and handling simple daily duties like picking kids up from school or supplying meals.
Some parents, Wiesendanger said, hardly have the time to leave an infant for long enough to even take a shower or find five minutes to rest. Neglect can be a direct result of overwhelm. Overwhelm is often a direct result of isolation.
“Imagine what that does to your mental health, to never have a moment where you are not ‘on’? And that doesn’t even deal with the trauma [a parent] may be coming out of,” Wiesendanger said.
“For the parents we support and thousands of parents in New York City, there’s no one there.”
This reality is what the body of Christ is built for, Wiesendanger said.
“If nothing else, what the church knows how to do is love on people. Come around people and show up. We do not need to be social workers. We don’t need to be experts, but we can be there for someone. When the Church mobilizes to show up for that family down the street who doesn’t have anyone, that’s how we create that support.”
The work begins with relationship.
A “Circle of Support” is anchored by a family friend, who is assigned to “be there” for a family, providing practical help and friendship, and a family coach, who helps parents identify larger goals and works with them to attain the resources to accomplish them.
An army of partners works alongside Safe Families to make the support parents receive comprehensive and custom to their unique needs.
“Chapter One of Genesis says it is not good for man to be alone. We are not built to be alone, and more and more we are,” Wiesendanger pointed out.
"Science has finally caught up to what the Church has known for a long time, which is that people with a set of healthy relationships literally outlive other people, separate from other risk factors. When we have someone to encourage us, to support us, to talk things through, we can handle so much more.”
Many of the relationships forged through Safe Families NYC have created a ripple effect, with those who were served now serving others in need via a peer-to-peer support group dubbed “Mighty Village.”
The program, run by a formerly served single mom named Anna, is a microcosm of the organization’s larger work. It is dedicated care, creating real relationship, compounding the effects of New York neighbors growing in love for one another.
“When you think about all the bad that never happens to a family over the course of their life, then all the good that then they can pour into the world by staying together, every family we support creates miracles,” Wiesendanger said.
“All [struggling parents] need is for us to show up with the love of Christ, to be there with them and walk with them.”
Learn more about Safe Families NYC here.