There aren’t many things as painful as a dream coming to an end. Maybe it was something you planned and prepared and prayed about for years, something you invested a lot of yourself in. You thought you had God’s blessing, that this was a dream He had called you to. And now that it’s over, you find yourself wondering, If this dream was such a good thing, if it was really from God, then how could it just…die?
Here are a few things to keep in mind that will help you move forward after the death of a dream.
1. Take Time to Grieve
David, in Psalm 31, cries out to God, “Have mercy on me, LORD, for I am in distress. Tears blur my eyes. My body and soul are withering away. I am dying from grief; my years are shortened by sadness” (31:9-10a NLT). That’s the prayer of someone who wasn’t afraid of bringing his whole range of emotions before his Father.
You’ve lost something, and it’s okay to be sad about it. It’s okay to be mad, it’s okay to take all of your frustration and heartbreak to God. It’s okay to ask why. Before you do anything else, acknowledge the loss and all the feelings it brings up, and take the time you need to grieve.
2. Know That It Wasn’t for Nothing
It’s easy to equate the death of a dream with failure. You start to believe the lie that you didn’t try hard enough, you didn’t pray hard enough, that you were never equipped to handle the dream in the first place.
But God doesn’t let any experiences, no matter how short-lived, go to waste. His purposes and plans are often different from our own. You may feel like your dream to open a restaurant was just about opening a restaurant and becoming a well-respected chef and businessperson. That’s a good dream. There’s nothing wrong with a dream like that. But what happens when you have to close the restaurant down because it’s not financially sustainable? The temptation is to ask, Well, what was the point of that? Why would God even lead me to open the restaurant in the first place if it was just doomed to fail?
Sometimes all we can do in moments like those is echo what David ends Psalm 31 with: “But I am trusting you, O LORD, saying, ‘You are my God!’ My future is in Your hands” (Psalm 31:14-15a NLT).
We may not understand the why (at least not right away), but we can know with assurance that our dreams are never for nothing. We learned something from that experience. We gained a skill, or learned the importance of discipline and hard work, or grew in a fruit of the Spirit (or several!). Even if we have nothing external to show for all our efforts, the eternal rewards we’ll reap for trusting God and being obedient to His good plan, even when it’s hard, are too many to count.
3. Make Yourself Available
This may come after you’ve given yourself proper time to grieve, so don’t pressure yourself to get over it and move on to the next thing right away. But don’t linger too long in your loss, either! It’s entirely possible to be so wrapped up in our sadness and our perceived failure that we miss the next thing God has for us.
Being receptive to God’s will and open to His leading will never return void. So when you’re ready, make yourself available for whatever He wants to do next. You can pray a simple prayer of surrender, like, God, I trust in Your good plan for my life, and I’m ready for whatever You have next for me. I trust You to guide me and be with me in every season and every endeavor. Amen.
The death of a dream is a disheartening and painful thing to go through. But if you let it, it can also serve as a doorway into the beautiful things God has in store for your future. First Peter 5:10 reminds us that, “In His kindness God called you to share in His eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation” (NLT).
Suffering is inevitable. Disappointment is inevitable. But God’s restoration is also inevitable. His desire for us to share in His eternal glory is a promise He has no intention of breaking. So stand on His firm foundation, press forward, and, most importantly, put your trust in Him.
