What does it really mean to “honor marriage”? It’s a phrase many couples hear, but fewer truly live out with intention. Scripture gives us a powerful foundation in Hebrews 13:4: “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage” (NLT).
But honoring marriage isn’t just about commitment. It’s about how you nurture, grow, and steward that relationship with God at the center.
At its core, a God-honoring marriage is always moving, drawing closer to the Lord,
strengthening the relationship, and ultimately pouring into others. It’s not static. It’s alive,
growing, and purposeful.
Start with God as the Cornerstone
Every thriving marriage begins in the same place: with Christ. When couples prioritize their relationship with God individually and together, everything else begins to align. As Matthew 6:33 reminds us, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else…and He will give you everything you need” (NLT).
Honoring your marriage means recognizing that it’s not just about the two of you, and it’s about inviting God into every part of your relationship. When He is your foundation, you have a steady anchor through every season, whether you’re celebrating or struggling.
There Is Hope in Every Season
Marriage naturally moves through different seasons. Some are filled with joy and connection. Others bring stress, conflict, or even deep hurt. The important truth to remember is this: there is always hope.
For couples in difficult seasons (feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, or stuck), honoring
marriage means choosing not to walk through it alone. Scripture encourages us in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: “Two people are better off than one…If one person falls, the other can reach out and help” (NLT).
Sometimes that “help” comes from outside the marriage. A counselor, mentor, or trusted friend can provide perspective, encouragement, and tools for healing. Seeking help isn’t a sign of failure; it’s a step toward restoration.
You Were Never Meant to Do This Alone
Marriage is a duet that needs “background singers.” In other words, healthy marriages are supported by a community. And a healthy, biblical marriage is supported by a community of other believers.
Whether it’s friends who pray for you, mentors who guide you, or a church that walks alongside you, these “background singers” can make all the difference. They remind you that you’re not alone and help you stay grounded when things feel uncertain.
Proverbs 11:14 puts it this way: “Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers” (NLT). The same principle applies to marriage. Support strengthens you.
6 Practical Ways to Honor Your Marriage
- Prioritize Your Relationship with God. Spend time in prayer and Scripture, both individually and together. A strong vertical relationship with God fuels a healthy horizontal relationship with your spouse.
- Ask for Help When You Need It. Don’t wait until things feel impossible. Seeking guidance early can prevent deeper hurt later.
- Stay Connected Through Communication. Make time to talk regularly. And not just about day-to-day logistics. Share your struggles, hopes, dreams, and fears regularly.
- Invest in Growth During Healthy Seasons. Don’t settle. Use good seasons as an opportunity to strengthen your foundation even more.
- Build a Support System. Surround your marriage with people who encourage, challenge, and pray for you.
- Pour Into Other Couples. As your marriage grows, look for ways to support others. Mentoring or simply walking alongside another couple can be incredibly impactful.
From Growth to Impact
God’s design for marriage doesn’t stop with the couple; it is meant to extend outward. As you grow closer to Him and to each other, you’re equipped to bless others.
This is the beauty of a marriage that honors God: it multiplies. Your story, your growth, even your struggles, can become a source of hope for someone else.
At the end of the day, honoring your marriage isn’t about perfection. It’s about intention. It’s choosing, again and again, to put God first, to grow together, and to refuse to walk alone.
Whether you’re in a season of strength or struggle, the invitation is the same: draw near to God, invest in your relationship, and allow your marriage to become a reflection of His love.
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Dr. Greg Smalley and Erin Smalley are key figures in Focus on the Family’s marriage ministry, where they develop and oversee initiatives to prepare individuals for marriage, strengthen existing marriages, and support couples in marital crises. Together, they co-created Ready to Wed, a comprehensive premarital curriculum for engaged couples, and the Focus on Marriage Assessment, an online tool to help couples evaluate and enhance their relationships.
Greg, the son of the late Dr. Gary Smalley, a renowned family counselor and founder of the Smalley Relationship Center, developed a passion for marriage from a young age, inspired by attending his father’s conferences. He is the author of 20 books, including Reconnected: Moving from Roommates to Soulmates in Your Marriage and 9 Lies that Will Destroy Your Marriage.
Erin, a licensed professional counselor with a private practice (Smalley Marriage), has coauthored 12 books, including Reconnected, Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage, and The Wholehearted Wife.
Together, they present at marriage enrichment seminars, delivering insightful and practical guidance with a touch of humor to help couples build deeply satisfying marriages. Greg and Erin, married since 1992, are biological and adoptive parents to four children: Taylor, Murphy, Garrison, and Annie.
About Focus on the Family
Focus on the Family is a Christian non-profit dedicated to helping families thrive in Christ. Believing every individual and family’s greatest need is a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, they help people live their lives according to His principles, which leads to happier, healthier families and a stronger society.
Related Resource: Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?
