5 Ways to Help Your Family Beat the Comparison Trap

…But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant! – 2 Corinthians 10:12 NLT

As a parent, have you ever felt like everyone else’s kids seem to be doing better in school, sports, and life than your kids? Your child might be the one who’s always sitting on the bench and never gets called into the game. Or maybe your son or daughter struggles academically. It can be so tempting to compare your child’s performance and abilities to another child’s performance and abilities. But the reality is, God made your child perfectly imperfect; and as parents, it’s our job to cultivate our children’s unique gifts, talents, passions, and abilities.

We fall into a dangerous “comparison trap” when we compare our kids to others. The Apostle Paul gives us great wisdom on unhealthy comparisons in today’s verse.

So, how do we keep from falling into the comparison trap? Here are five suggestions:

1. Stabilize your God-given identity.

Understand that every member of your family is “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). God made each of your kids unique. Help your kids embrace the person God created them to be by investing in them, encouraging their giftings and talents, and supporting them unconditionally.

2. Find ways for your family to serve together.

When you serve, you shift your focus and your perspective off yourself and onto other people (Philippians 2:3-4). Serving together as a family is a great way to cultivate family unity while also instilling in your children the importance of doing things for others without expecting anything in return.

3. Focus on your child’s success.

Celebrate the little victories. Don’t just celebrate straight As. Celebrate improvement. Compliment your child when you see them working hard. Cheer them on at each small milestone along the way. Make sure they know for certain that you, as their parents, believe in them wholeheartedly.

4. Cultivate the character of Christ.

Isn’t it humbling when we see other families thrive? Allow the success of others to humble you and make you more like Jesus (Romans 8:29). Let your children see you regularly encouraging others. Inspire them to build up others as well, teaching them that other people’s successes are something to celebrate; they do not diminish their own.

5. Worship God with your life.

Your son might be the quarterback of a team, or your daughter the class valedictorian. In this case, it might be easy to look down on other students who don’t excel in similar areas. Don’t give in to the temptation. If they’ve been given a more prominent platform, teach them that they can use it to give God glory and point people to Jesus (1 Corinthians 1:31).

Don’t allow other people to be your standard of measurement. Let Jesus set the standard.

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