As Valentine’s Day approaches, conversations about love grow louder. But for many, the prayers are quieter and more personal: God, how do I heal? How do I wait? How do I love well?
Those questions sit at the heart of a recent God Stories conversation with Laterras Whitfield, host of the "Dear Future Wifey" podcast and author of "Student of Love: Your Guide to Discover, Uncover and Recover Healthy Relationships." The book includes a foreword by Gary Chapman, New York Times bestselling author of "The Five Love Languages."
Listen to the entire conversation between Crystal Thornton and Laterras R. Whitfield in the podcast below.
Laterras’ journey to marriage wasn’t rushed or romanticized. It was refined; shaped through years of surrender, healing, accountability and deep inner work with God. While his recent wedding to his wife, Ashley, was highlighted by the New York Times, the most meaningful parts of their love story were written long before the spotlight ever appeared.
A Heart Posture of Surrender
When asked where God has been meeting him in this season of life, Laterras didn’t hesitate.
“I’m in a place of surrender,” he said. “I told God… whatever direction You want me to take, I’m in full submission.”
For a self-described visionary, releasing control wasn’t easy. But that posture reshaped how he viewed love, not as something to chase, but as something God prepares us for.
Rather than positioning himself as an expert, Whitfield intentionally approaches love as a student, learning openly from his own failures and the stories of others.
Throughout seasons of waiting and uncertainty, Laterras says God consistently met him in worship.
“Worship is so intimate for me,” he shared. “That’s where my heart is always at… when I’m looking for direction, when I’m growing weary in my well-doing.”
Those moments became places of renewal; reminders that surrender isn’t passive, it’s relational.
Love Is Learned, Not Fallen Into
The title "Student of Love" reflects a conviction Laterras carries deeply.
“We always hear people say, ‘I fell in love,’” he explained. “But love has to be intentional. Love is something you step into consciously.”
Drawing from Scripture, especially 1 Corinthians 13, he believes love must be studied, practiced and stewarded responsibly, not stumbled into.
In the book, he explores different expressions of love, including biblical concepts like agape, helping readers recognize what healthy love actually looks like in real life.
Wisdom Shaped by Many Voices
Laterras’ perspective didn’t form in isolation. Through more than 200 conversations on the "Dear Future Wifey" podcast, with everyone from people who have never been on a date to couples married more than five decades, he says he learned what healthy love looks like across every season of life.
“I sat as a student, not an expert,” he said. “Learning from people who were single, married, weary, hopeful, all of it shaped who I needed to become.”
The Most Difficult Season: Recovery
One of the most honest moments in the conversation came when Laterras spoke about the recovery season, not from addiction, but from the inner work God does after surrender. It’s the phase that follows repentance and healing, when the crisis has passed but the promise hasn’t yet unfolded.
“That’s the season where people grow weary,” he said. “You’ve done the work. You’re faithful. And you’re still waiting.”
He explained that this season requires deep discernment, learning when to release what no longer aligns, when continued growth is still needed and when what feels like delay or loss is actually God’s protection at work.
A God-Ordained Affirmation
One of the most emotional moments in Laterras’ journey came when "Student of Love" was affirmed by Dr. Gary Chapman.
After reading the manuscript, Chapman told him:
"This book was brilliantly written. I love it.”
Laterras remembers sitting at his kitchen counter, overwhelmed.
“Some of the goals we have in our mind pale in comparison to what God has in store for us,” he said.
Becoming the Right Person
Laterras often returns to one defining truth:
“Love isn’t about finding the right person,” he said. “It’s about becoming the right person.”
Before marriage, that meant years of therapy, Celebrate Recovery, accountability and forgiveness, including forgiving himself for past failures.
“I had to face myself,” he shared. “Learn from it. Grow from it. And then release it.”
Protecting What’s Sacred
Even after marriage, the learning continues.
Laterras and Ashley chose to build their relationship privately before sharing it publicly, prioritizing counseling and a strong spiritual foundation.
“Marriage didn’t end the work,” he said. “It expanded it.”
Love That Extends Beyond Romance
Beyond relationships, Whitfield is also a passionate advocate for foster youth, believing healing love has the power to change lives far beyond romance.
For anyone discouraged by past relationships or exhausted from waiting, Laterras offers this reminder:
“God’s love never fails,” he said. “People may fail you. You may fail yourself. But God’s Word will never return void.”
Laterras Whitfield is the host of the "Dear Future Wifey" podcast and the author of "Student of Love." You can find him on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok under Dear Future Wifey.
