The other day, I was talking with someone very close to me who’s going through a breakup. We were sitting on the phone, and they kept saying, “I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do. This feeling won’t go away.”
I wanted so badly to help them in that moment. To be able to say something that would ease their pain a little bit, that would heal their hurting heart. But all I could do, and really all they needed me to do, was just sit with them and give them the space to be sad.
I’ve been on the other side, too—so heartbroken that it felt like I’d never get over it, never be happy again. It’s an absolutely awful place to be. And if you’re there right now, I’m so sorry.
In the midst of what you’re feeling, be comforted that God is with you in your pain. The Bible says we don’t grieve like people who have no hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). We grieve, but we do so knowing that one day God is going to redeem everything, and that includes all of our heartache (Revelation 21:4).
But knowing that our pain will one day be gone for good doesn’t make it hurt any less now. So what do we do with our heartache in the painful space between life on earth and eternity with Jesus in His beautiful Kingdom? What do we do when we can barely eat, when we don’t want to see or talk to anyone, when even getting out of bed is a struggle?
Let Yourself Be Sad
Although it may seem counterproductive, one of the healthiest things you can do when dealing with heartbreak is wallow. Let yourself feel all your feelings; don’t push your emotions down, don’t force a good mood, don’t feel like you have to get over it right away. For now, just sit with what you’ve lost without trying to fix anything.
Take Small Steps Forward
Take a shower. Cook a simple meal. Go for a walk. Call a friend. Maybe you can only manage one of these things in a day—that’s okay. Don’t rush yourself through the process; healing from a breakup takes time.
Share Your Grief with God
Isaiah 53:3 tells us that Jesus was a “Man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief” (NLT). He doesn’t just know about pain; He’s felt it all Himself. So tell Him what you’re feeling. Share the deepest cries of your heart. He hears you, weeps with you, and wants to heal you.
Hold Onto Hope
Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, you will be okay. You’ve gotten through every hard thing you’ve ever gone through thus far, and you’ll get through this, too. God has a wonderful plan for your life, wonderful people for you to meet, and wonderful experiences for you to have. In this season and every one to come, cling to Him. He will never let you down and He will always be with you (Deuteronomy 31:8).
