“Please, Lord, prove that your power is as great as you have claimed. For you said, ‘The LORD is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion. But He does not excuse the guilty. He lays the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations.’ In keeping with your magnificent, unfailing love, please pardon the sins of this people, just as you have forgiven them ever since they left Egypt.” – Numbers 18:17-29
It’s easy to feel like we’re a product of our upbringings. The result of our parents, home life, and the resulting burdens we carried both from them and through them. Under this paradigm, we are not who we want to be; we are who we were made to be.
But such a view of our lives forsakes the beauty of the Gospel—the good news that the redemptive power of Jesus covers any past we carry and the transformative power of the Spirit can make the most broken mess a resplendent work of art.
Are Generational Curses Real?
The idea of a generational curse goes back centuries to some of the earliest writings of the Old Testament. It’s meant to describe someone’s sin and its consequences falling onto their offspring, who then pass it on to theirs.
But the word “curse” might be a misnomer. We might think of a curse as some sort of magic hex or malevolent spiritual attachment to our family—a mark that can’t be expunged from our family tree. But generational curses aren’t spiritual burdens that we must accept as part of our family. They aren’t tied to our family so much as they are engrained in our family.
And because of this, any family curse can be broken. No matter how long a particular sin has seemed to weave its way into your family history, God has the power to break the chains of bondage and re-write your family's story.
Healing from the Past
It is simply a fact of our humanity that most of the lessons we learn and habits we develop are “caught, not taught.”
Your most formative years are highly influenced, and in many cases defined, by what was modeled to you. Maybe a well-intentioned parent told you it was important to be respectful to others. However, if your interactions with them growing up were predominantly filled with words uttered in frustration or anger displayed in their actions, we are subconsciously taught that we are free to say one thing while living out another.
In such cases, we must heal from the hurts we’ve picked up along the way. The Gospel doesn’t demand that we ignore the sins of those who came before us. It’s okay to acknowledge the wrongs that were done against us (though we must safeguard ourselves against bitterness as we work toward forgiveness. Review chapters 4 and 6 for more on this).
As we heal, we’re rewiring our minds and restoring our souls to find satisfaction in Christ rather than the broken patterns we learned from. This can take time, and will often come with setbacks (and in some cases, push back from our family that feels as though we’re working against them because we’re choosing to live differently than they did).
Find support and encouragement from people who want to see you healthy. Hold them close, building vulnerability and accountability along the way. When things are difficult, lean into them as they walk through this burden with you. Conversely, as the Lord helps you take strides forward, make sure they’re some of the first people who get to celebrate and rejoice with you.
Where Do I Go From Here?
Breaking generational curses isn’t just about us overcoming adversity. It’s about creating a new pattern for the generations that follow after us. If the sins of those who came before us negatively affected the generations leading up to us, our Christ-likeness sets up those who come after us to flourish and create a better future for our family.
The road won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it. There is something profoundly moving about building something we won’t benefit from. To break generational “curses” is to offer your family a brighter tomorrow. And though you may not see it, you can be certain that your future family will be grateful you did it.
