These days, it seems like more people meet their spouse online than through any other method; most of my close friends and several family members met their partners on Bumble, Hinge, or Tinder. While there’s far less of a stigma toward dating apps now than there used to be, it’s still a challenging (and oftentimes just plain weird) world to navigate.
Fortunately, there isn’t one biblical command or standard for how we should search for and find partners. But no matter how you go about the dating process, you should always do so with intention, wisdom, and healthy caution.
Here are a few things to consider and questions to ask yourself when pursuing romantic partnership through dating apps.
Ask Yourself Why
Dating apps are designed to feel like other social media apps—easily accessible whenever you need a few minutes of mindless scrolling. They’re also highly addictive because of the quick dopamine hit that comes from getting a like or a comment on one of your photos.
Dating apps also rely heavily on physical first impressions. The first thing you learn about the person is what they look like, so it’s easy to immediately write them off with a quick swipe left based solely on appearance. While physical attraction is important in relationships, when we start thinking of people as just a picture on a screen, we stop seeing them as a real person made in the image of God.
So before you start swiping, do an honest check of your heart and intentions. Are you opening the app out of boredom, loneliness, or a desire for validation? Or are you prayerfully looking for genuine, honest connections you may not otherwise have the opportunity to make?
Represent Yourself Accurately
When building your dating profile, be forthright about what you’re looking for, what you believe, and the things that are most important to you. Giving people an honest picture of who you are right off the bat will eliminate needless back and forth with those who aren’t going to be a good match.
Don’t Neglect Face-to-Face Interaction
If more of your time is spent online than off, there’s an imbalance that needs adjustment. Dating apps and social media platforms can be wonderful ways to meet people and form friendships all over the world, but online connection will never replace in-person connection. As you’re using dating apps, make sure you’re still prioritizing the people and relationships that already exist in your day-to-day life. Continue making an effort to put yourself out there—attend church events, join a hobby club, or invite your neighbor over for dinner.
In short, there is no biblical imperative against using dating apps; you should in no way feel guilt or shame about using them as a Christian. There certainly are healthy and unhealthy ways to use them, but as long as you’re being wise, prayerful, and intentional in your efforts, they can be a great way to make connections with people you may never have naturally met. As 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (NLT). That “all” means all—even dating!
